On With My Life  

rm_rsp54 58F
892 posts
9/28/2005 5:36 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

On With My Life


In retrospect, I would love to say that the rest of my journey was easy, but that's not the case. But somehow I managed to negotiate the bumps and crashes along the way.
My morphine drip was discontinued the day I was sent home. For several days I was intensely sick because of the medical staff's stupidity. I had dry heaves, and felt like my skin was crawling on my body. After that, It was somewhat better. I didn't swallow, anything for about 6 months. I had a feeding tube surgically implanted. I saw a speech and swallowing therapist for several months.
It's all behind me now. I swallow. I swallow differently than before. It is no longer a next to reflex occurence, I must think about it at all times. I've been warned of the possibility of pneumonia, due to aspiration. Happy to say that it has never happened. My scars are so well hidden that I would have to point them out to you. The only difference now, is that my voice is softer and lower, due to the fact that only one of my vocal chords now works.

Since my ordeal, I have gotten a much better sense of self. I was always the one to do everything for everybody else, ignoring my needs. Now I realize that I'm the one who deserves my full attention. Funny how it takes such a traumatic experience to see something so evident! I grab the little bits of happiness that come my way, and know that true happiness is on the horizon.

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