|Blogs > rm_roosky30 > Death By Porno|
In search of anonymous girl..........
In search of anonymous girl..........
The glowing red numbers on the alarm clock slowly come into focus. Yep, it's 6:30am. Fuck. I have to get up. No more dreams of saving the anonymous hot girl from the brain-crazed zombies, and I was just getting to the, "Oh, my hero! How can I ever thank you?"
A shower and some coffee, then I'll be good to go. Wait, today is Thursday. I'm working from home, better make extra coffee.
Twenty minutes later I find out exactly how hot the coffee is and I make a note to sip a little slower next time. God this is good coffee. "Of course it is you dumbass! You buy the good shit because you like a tasty fucking cup of coffee." Holy shit! My brain is now awake!
I find myself in the office, staring at paperwork and wondering how much gasoline it would take to make the pile smaller. There is no way I am going to do this right now. Why ruin what could be a rather enjoyable day working from home with actual work? Screw this, I think I need to go online.
A few minutes later I find myself staring blankly at the homepage. What the hell do I do now? With pictures of anonymous hot girl still fresh in mind I search porn, not a very specific search as the eleven million sites found would show.
Ok, I better narrow this down. Lets see.....search for hot busty chicks, that's kind of fitting into last night's dream, I'll try that. Cool, I'm down to two million sites.
I find myself looking through pages of German women having industrial sex with guys who don't look all that happy. Nothing of interest here, better keep moving.
Lets see, anonymous girl looked like she might be Latin. I'll try that, hot busty Latin chicks. Alright, these girls look good, things are starting to go my way! Oh wait, I don't speak any Spanish, not any words that aren't on the menu at Taco John's. What did she just say, "My pants are made of fire from the library?" Ok, next site.
Christ is it 9am already? There is no way I'm doing any work today. Not until I find her.
The searches yield nothing, and c'mon now, who the fuck wants porno of clowns gang-banging Italian midget ladies covered in raspberry yogurt? I like raspberry yogurt enough but this is a little too much.
Ok, maybe a short nap will refresh the mental picture of her. I turn on the T.V. and put it on the Price is Right. If this doesn't make me sleep I don't know what will.
There she is! Only this time it's a little different. No zombies. There doesn't seem to be any reason for me to save her from certain peril, just her, me, and a long stretch of beach that fills my head with sounds of the ocean biting at the sandy shore. This is nice. I think she is coming over to talk to me. Oh yeah, she is coming over, and she has that look on her face again! "Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me put this lotion on. I just can't seem to get it in all the right spots." Holy shit! She wants me to rub lotion on her! I start to rub the lotion into her skin and she seems really into it. Her back arches, head tilts to the side and she gives me a smoldering look over her shoulder. The sound of the ocean is clear as day while I work the magic fingers over her tanned body.
My eyes pop open like two spring loaded cans of snakes. Dammit, I have to pee! Too much coffee! I knew that the fucking ocean would ruin everything in my dream.
I check the clock. It's 1:30pm. Fuck! I better get back online and look for her again.
A few minutes into yet another search and the phone rings. "Hey dude, you going to see Professor Koleco in Cognito on Saturday? They are at Petey's again."
"Yeah man, I was planning on going, why?"
"Oh, just checking, I might need a ride home."
"No problem, hey listen, I have to get back to work. I'll call you later and we can figure out a plan."
Maybe now I will have some luck. I keep searching and I come to something a little more promising. This looks good, amateurs at the beach. She is definately not a porn star, she must be in amateur pics. Nope, I guess not. Apparently amateur means fucked-up teeth. Her teeth were perfect. Keep looking.
It's 3:30 pm already? I haven't even been close to finding her yet! What the hell is the internet good for anyway? Fuck you Al Gore and your fucking invention too. Ok, calm down, you'll find her.
Teenage sites. She looked younger, maybe I should try there. Ok, she isn't that young. How about college sites? Nope, she's not in a dorm surrounded by nympho business majors. Wait a minute, that's it, hot busty business babes! She did look like she knows the ins and outs of MS Outlook. A quick search and business is dismissed. I'm starting to think she was just a figment of my imagination. "Yeah you dumbass, she was a dream after all."
"Shut up brain, I don't need you anyway!"
It's 4:45pm. "You have to get your ass to the store to pick up the dry cleaning."
"Oh yeah, thanks brain, I knew you were good for something. Friends again?"
On my way to the store I pass a silver Mustang. There she is! Oh my god, there she is! I calm myself for the approach at the stoplight. "Turn your radio down shitstack, she doesn't seem the type who likes Led Zeppelin!"
"Thanks again brain! How cool of you to still look out for me after all of those bong hits in college!"
I roll to a stop at the light and glance over. Ha ha ha!! She was looking! She's rolling her window down! Play it cool man, don't open your mouth first!
"Excuse me, how do I get to Washington Street?"
"Oh, all you do is stay in that lane for a couple more miles and it will be on your right, you can't miss it!"
"Thanks alot, you're my hero today!"
If anybody was wondering, she did wink as she rolled her window back up and drove away. I'm pretty sure it was too cold for her to ask me to put lotion on the spots she couldn't reach. Maybe some other time............