"How Could I Have Been So Blind??"  

rm_rockhardo00 55M
8 posts
2/17/2006 5:49 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

"How Could I Have Been So Blind??"

I have written several stories about my x and I.
We have had the greatest sex since our separation.
I wanted to know why she left and she just said she wasn't happy anymore. She could not or would not give any particular reason.
I was recently talking to an old friend about my marital problems and I brought up an old girlfriend from just before my wife and I met.
She was a great person but, not really the one for me. You know what I mean. Anyway, I thought of our break up. I broke the relationship off and she was devastated. She was always calling, crying about how much she loved me and couldn't live without me. I felt bad for her because, I really cared about her. Not enough to stay together though.
I started to go to her apartment on a fairly regular basis just to have sex. The sex was great. No strings, no stress. She understood that, that was all there would be is sex. (Looking back, that was awfully cruel of me.)

I had the unfortunate realization that I may be in her shoes now. I was calling my wife often to tell her I love her. I was asking her, no begging her to come back. She finally started to come on the weekends. She would come for the night, we'd have sex and she would leave the next day. She felt no different emotionally than when she got there. Physically, we were having the best sex in many years.

Though I have not asked her yet. I think my assumption may be correct.

How could I have been so blind??

rm_PurryKitty2 48M/49F
9753 posts
2/17/2006 6:55 am

I dont understand it and wish you well with it. Perhaps its part of being afraid of the future so you hold onto the past. I dont know.

Purry {=}


rm_rockhardo00 55M
4 posts
2/17/2006 7:02 am

What was difficult to face is the fact that after ten years of marriage, my current/estranged wife decided that she doesn't want to be together. She seems to ONLY want sex occasionally. If she didn't keep coming back for sex, I would have let go sooner. Now I feel like a pathetic looser who was strung along and finally woke up.
She is a pretty cool person so, I would have expected her to be honest about her intentions. Though I (in retrospect) feel bad about continuing sex with my former ex, at least I was up front about it.

Thank you for your comment

xoxobellaxoxo 53F

2/22/2006 7:42 pm

You can never go forward with life if you hold onto the past. Your a good looking man you can get anyone. Sex with the ex's won't heal your heart it holds you back. Move on

ladytramp3 102F

3/15/2006 10:01 am

I was just browsing through old mag posts and found one of your questions, so came to check out your blog.

I have been in your shoes, too, although not afte 10 years, but even after 3 it was hard enough. Here's my advice: you have to stop sleeping with your wife, if she is clear that the marriage is over. Continuing to have physical contact really does increase the bond between you, and obviously that is only going to make it more painful for you both. She may be feeling more hurt than she shows. It is very peculiar to me that she wants a divorce when she doesn't know why she is even unhappy, but you can't make someone address problems if they are unwilling. The sooner you start separating your identity from hers, the sooner you can move on with life.

Best of luck

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They say love conquers all.....--Zevon

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