My first adventure in bloq world  

DingyFlagsPorky 46M
10 posts
7/1/2005 11:40 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

My first adventure in bloq world


Canada day, a day to celibrate the nation. Thousands of people off work, spending time with there families and friends. I sit alone once again in my little house and the the silience is deafning. My first bloq, what to write, something up lifting , and yet thats not the way my soul feels. I have fought many battles, pysicaly and mentally, and have lost very few. The blood of my ancestors courses through my viens, they were a passionate people, ferice and independtant, not the sort of people you would want to back into a corner. An yet though all the tries and trebulations it is life that seems to be winning the battle against me. We are alll unquie, put here by fate, or chance , I do not know. I have wondered this earth for almost 35 years , seraching for , what, I do not no. Understanding perhaps, I am a simple man, what u see is what you get, and yet I cannot conform to the masses. I am my own person, I inbrace my differents and yet curse it at the sametime. To be happy married, to have childern of my own, these are goals of mine and yet the are always out of reach. Have I choosen the wrong path at the fork in the road. Many of my decions have been made for me , by life or other people. I did not want my lover to leave and take her childern, but try as I did the decion was hers and my wishes had little to do with the out come.This morning a friend of mine who is going though a messy divorce, called me her rock, her strength. I wish that I was a rock, a island, because a rock feels no pain and a island never cries. This shell, this tough exterior hides a heart shrived and blacked with pain and suffering, but is that not life. the good with the bad, the sweet and the sorrow. Well I have had my share of both and maybe , just maybe , this sorrow I feel now is the pain I must bare in order to fine greater happines, perhaps. So I will suck my gut in , I'll take this one on the chin, I'll face the night and I'll pretend , I've got something to belive in. This is my first bloq , perhaps it will be my last? but I need to release some of these feelings before my head explodes, lol. Take care my fellow lost souls .

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