Apperance veres reality  

DingyFlagsPorky 46M
10 posts
7/22/2005 10:33 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Apperance veres reality


Do you not find it strange that ever day we see things that appear one way and are really anoughter. Every where we look we are bombard by things that fool are brains, inspire thoughts to the oppistie of what they are. Its made me wonder, if in a way, we are not living in a fantasy world everyday.

A good friend of my, perhaps one of my best friends, called me from B.C. today. I was wonderful to her here voice. We have been good friends for years, and yet to alot of people who see us, think that I am just simply trying to get in her pants. Oh I admit at first there was a strong sextual atraction. She is in her early forties, from south america,beatuiful, with olive skin, jet black hair, and the bearing of a true latin. Full of pose and grace, charm, a true mom aseta.And yet friends we are nothing more. She has a husband and two wonderful childern.

I remember many years ago , we stopped for a drink on Corydon ave, as I lived just off it at the time. The dirly laundry bar had just opened and we decided to check it out. I laughted , because I remembered when it was the King Koin laundry mat, and how I had to dry my briefs there when the dryer in my building died.

We went in , and every mans eye in the place was apon her. She never noticed, I guess when your beatiful, you get use to people looking at you all the time. We talked, and smoked, yes in those days you could smoke in a bar, strange and wild times. We ask for the bill, as we both had early mornings the next day. She slid her gold card into the folder and the waitress pick it up. A short time later the waitress came back and handed me the card and said sorry we don't take credit cards yet , are machine isn't here yet. I looked at her and said it's not my card. She gave me the funniest look and hand the card to my friend, who paid in cash and then we left.

It dawned on me when I got home how it must have appeared , a older women, still in her prime and her young stud out on the town. Ever man in that place must have been thinking lucky guy, whats he got that I don;t. The answer is nothing. I went home to my little apartment, dark and lonly, crawled in to my empty bed as usally and turn in the night and whispered good nite to know one. The same rotuine , as the night before, and the same rotuine as many nights to follow.

My friend went home to slip into bed beside the warm body of her husband, in the house they shared with there family.

If only my life was as exieting as it seems, appears to others. There have been a few high points, but they are dilluted by a thousand low ones. And I wondered , are all the things I see all day , real, or under the surface are they vastly different. The pretty young girls,under do they feel as ugly as the rest of us. The happy couples, is there a storm brewing under the surface, about to break free at anytime.
Are the smelly old people , I deal with everday at work , someone who defended are country , are freedom and gave up there youth to give us all that we take for granted today.

Perhaps Iam like that too, what you see on the surface , hinds a mind that is every bit as special as any other. I give little thought to how I dress and how I look, but what does it say to others, and do I really care what they think. They will contiune to judge me, like a book by its cover, when there is so much more inside.

I do not want anyone to love me for what I appear to be, I want to be loved for what I am. This is me, in a thousand years there has been no one like me, and in a thousand more there will not be anougther like me again. Mabye thats a good thing, because I would not wish anoughter single person to feel as alone as I feel now. Go forth , find someone to love, and be loved by. Do not let time slip away and end up like me, sitting here writing blogs, because you have no one to say good nite to. Take care my fellew humans, may the love of the gods shine apon you and keep you out of the darkness,

wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
7/23/2005 1:00 am

you are never alone, although you may feel it, this world is bursting with people, just say hello, you will find there will be those who feel as you do, and smile in return

WyvernRose


DingyFlagsPorky 46M

7/23/2005 2:31 pm

Thank you so much for your comment. I never fully ecpected any comments , as I wrote these bloqs , mostly for myself. They are a way of understanding what is churning around in my head. I thanks you for your kindness Wyernrose, but wish that I could belive in your statement. Someting has always set me apart from my fellow man, not better , just different, and I have always felt alone. Years have passed, women come and gone ,and yet I am still a loner. I am still one half of a puzzule looking for the other piecie to make me whole. Thanks again. yours truly , Ravenjago


wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
7/23/2005 9:41 pm

Raven, your not the only one who is in many way's different to those around them, but this is no reason for us to distance ourself from those who could be our friends, it is the diversity amongst the people of this world which enrichens our lives.

your looking for your soul mate,

I can tell you this they tend to turn up in the most unexpected places, just when you stop looking. but if you don't get out there they wont find you

WyvernRose


DingyFlagsPorky 46M

7/24/2005 4:58 am

Thank you again Wyvernrose. You are right, patence is a virtue, one that I have been sorraly lacking , in this dark time. Perhaps the events of the last year, have panicked me into thinking that time is running out for me. I shall ponder your words somemore, once again rise to the challange , and keep searching for my soulmate. Only now I'm going to try and have alittle fun along the way. Thanks


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