I may be back.......  

rm_randybirch 43M/45F
96 posts
10/30/2005 12:55 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

I may be back.......

Hey all!! Nice to be back..

I have layed up in my room dreaming some crazy dreams...my dreams always come true and it scares me to death.

Wow...reading my last post I was really out there. I barely remember. Not like things have turned around much...

Anyway....I MUST ask forgiveness to the beautiful women that started writing to me, one in particular you know who you are, and then I disappeared. Life is complicated...at least mine always seems to be.

Checks and Balances

I lie in my bed, in the farthest part of this large house, farthest from end to end, farthest from the first small 4 stairs to the next 13 to the landing to the last step.

What I hold back is the constant pain my body is in. But I go on. Love is to good, Sex is to good....I am too young..there are more friends to be found, more women I would love to change from bi-curious to bi.. What a wonderful thing that is

Over the summer (and I will finish) is the girl I still dream of. I can still see her standing after her shower, hot and sticky from the airport, the first day she arrived on my porch.

One overhead bag for two weeks. What a packer!!! and what lovely panties, bras, and even her old baseball shirt that came out of that seemingly small case every day made me wonder what was next.

How funny it was she wore the first night the same cotton sting strap old as hell floor length nightgown that I owned in burgandy. I watched her come out from the shower, the contrast of the white against her olive skin, tanned, and her long, dark, wet hair. I was breathless.

And how funny when she fell into my husbands side of our marital bed to talk. I already wrote way back about how her words faded away as I stared at her, so tired, so beautiful inside and out, with no makeup a screaming natural beauty (As I have been told I look without my makeup, I just cant see it...and my pictures on this site, I barely have any on....Yet I stare at myself and wonder why anyone wrote to me at all) and yet after giving herself up to me, a bi curious virgin ...does that sound right? Oh...how she screamed but there was something else there. Our friendship. And yet as I say, after giving herself to me and apologizing for "not being good" (of which I didnt care I just wanted to make her fantasy, which we had talked about for a good two months, come true) we could just hang out the next day...friends, true friends.

I do long for the girl that would,as the day her and I, a few days before she left, as we were out on a warm summer night, down by where the boats dock, looking out to the water, me infactuated, her observant of the unfortunate scum that mull in the area, the breeze coming off the water, I wanted to give her a gentle kiss in public.

Well, I am not in my room and all the other things i wanted to say here every night, every day, knowing it would hurt my body to come down the stairs, are long gone memories.

I got out my little bit of soul searching for the day.

So now I ask, it may seem I am looking for love from a woman...yes that may be true. Yes, sex is fabulous. But I guess since I have not been active here, I havent heard from the ladies. And I refer you back to my blog where you all bitch, and especially bi-curious women, drop me a line! Boy does that sound desparate!!! Act on what you feel because it is real. I am probably the most layed back, kindest, nicest person, who is STILL up for anything!!! (dont let my gentleness fool you! hehe) you would ever want to meet.

Now I feel like erasing this but I wont.

I ...wow...I dont know how to end......how unusual.

The sun is going down....I need some air.

Love to you all
Lux


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