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Age barriers to (sexual) satisfaction
Age barriers to (sexual) satisfaction
This is my first attempt at a blog and I have only been a member of this exotic fraternity for a fortnight.
As someone who truthfully reported that he was 61, I have become aware of two things.
The first is that the age parameters drawn by AdultFriendFinder make it difficult to reach females who might be suitable. With hindsight I should have lied ‒ as several people do ‒ since a 56 year old is twice as desirable. Prospective partners click little boxes without much thought. I guess a lot of such decisions are made because they, themselves, don’t want to become part of that age group. The “over 60s” and “pensioners” have negative connotations.
The second, and more regrettable, is the assumption by many that ageing happens at the same rate, at the same times and with the same consequences. This assumption is totally erroneous and not even justified by superficial characteristics.
If we asked the members of AdultFriendFinder at what age they first had an erection, masturbated or had a wet-dream, the answers would vary substantially. So too would the loss of virginity, mid-life crisis and menopause occur at different ages. People are different, fortunately.
Treat this scientifically and plot development curves for people (yourself included) and then see the surprising result that there is a wide band of potentially suitable partners, spanning a range of ages.
I’m not suggesting that someone of my age can cope with a twenty year old, physically or emotionally ‒ although the idea of a young, smooth, innocent (?) body might be very appealing. No, but I am suggesting that if you put a blindfold on 90% of the men and women seeking sexual release on this website, put them together and told them not to talk, most of them would make totally inaccurate judgements about their partner’s age, perhaps their sex too.
It is all in the mind.
Our fantasies, based on whatever past experiences, are not necessarily a good guide to us getting physical and mental sexual satisfaction. In a dark room I could masturbate and have an orgasm with anyone of any sex being present. Turn the light on and expose a hairy docker from Liverpool, or a bondage butch lady from Glasgow, and my enthusiasm would wilt, literally. Fat, hairy, smelly, wrinkled people turn me off irrespective if the light is on or off. The mantelpiece does matter too and an introductory photograph goes a long way to reasure.
A woman can be attractive to me at all ages and philosophically can be viewed as a clock ‒ good sex is good at 10.30, 1 o’clock, 5.45 or midnight.
Now how can I pass on this attitude to my intended partners? Perhaps asking AdultFriendFinder to remove all references to age in the visible profile? Neat solution, but I have little hope.
Ladies, on behalf of all men aspiring for your charms, please be a bit more generous with the age limits you set. That 19 year old may be mentally (as well as physically) the equal of a twenty-eight year old female. The smart 40 year old may be vacuous in social company and the 61 year old really can do everything that a fifty year old can ‒ bet!
10/9/2005 6:08 am
I have found words to be more influential than age. Just put your feelings in type and you will attact people. Ignore those x's most people do anyway.|
10/9/2005 6:29 am
sites like this are normaly "Ageist" without meaning to be,
most younger ppl, cannot imaging their parents having sex , so "pensioners" have little chance.
However from our experiance there are a lot of women and cples from 40 onwards that have no problems meeting the over 50 's + 60's ,
good luck to you,
10/9/2005 9:16 am
Well, I for one do have age restrictions. I can't see myself with a man younger than my own child...just because to me, it just feels weird. |
I also am not interested in men beyond the age's of 53ish...and that is mainly because I find that once they get past that age, they just look really old (not all...some look damn good).
I have looked at several profiles of older men and unfortunately, they look old. Or...they have labled themselves with a handle that indicates "OLD"...or maybe they have a tag line that indicates "OLD".
I think if the men in the older age group out there in AdultFriendFinder were to revise their pictures and show them in a more youthful setting & get rid of any reference to "old" in their handles and/or tag lines....that even though they are 58-59-60+ might find they are more appealing to women of all ages.
I am more apt to consider an older man if he doesn't look "old".
See, that's the key...and I don't know about other womens point of view on that...but for me that's the deal breaker.
I am 50.....but don't look it (or so I've been told countless times by both male and females). I get at times more messages from men in their mid 40's, late 30's to late 20's all the time...once in awhile someone my age or older will message and to date, I've only actually met and become friends with one...but...he looks younger.
So for those older men...get yourselves a new photo...ditch the suit...maybe before hand, check on some of the younger men's profiles just to see what sort of pic's they have....and no not the cock shots...and put together a nice shirt/slacks or a cool t'shirt and jeans...something to make yourselves look 40 or 50...if your handle gives away your age, change it..if your tag line gives any hint to an older age..change it, make it more youthful and exciting.
Like it or not...age is a big thing to a lot of people...it is what it is. It's neither right nor wrong. People in general do have certain "types" of what attracts them, those that say they don't are in denial...it's human nature...some people look at hair color as a deciding factor, some look at overall body size...some look at race....and some look at age...etc.
This is just my opinion...this is what I look at when I am checking profiles...or when determining if I want to reply to a message I've gotten. I also realize that my opinion will probably get slammed all over the place...and that's ok too...slam away if you feel you need to...but be nice about it...after all, it's just an opinion...and it isn't/wasn't my intention to anger or upset anyone. Okay? To each their own...