No means NO Damnit  

rm_poinpa 46F
69 posts
2/23/2006 6:58 am

Last Read:
6/29/2006 6:44 am

No means NO Damnit

I recently had the pleasure (?) of corresponding with a man from florida. He asked that I call him in florida so "we could hear each others voices". I told him nicely (at least I thought I was nice) that I was not interested in talking. Being a married woman and all, I am not looking to make phone calls that are not going to lead anywhere (although I may have been a bit sarcastic, but thats just me being me). Well he wrote back again asking me to call and again I said no. This continued on and on, perhaps I was too nice to him (which is shocking in itself) and he kept telling me "see I am making you smile" which I was most definitely not. After one more time of his cutesy little "see your smiling" I responded with:

No not smiling. Trying to figure out what part of I am not going to call you that you are having a problem with.

And of course, he had to insult me.

"I simply thought it would be nice to be able to talk to you--BIG MISTAKE..


Men-if you wonder why you don't get responses from women it is because of assholes like this- dimplesareme is his name. We try to be nice, but we cannot respond to all of you let alone say yes to even 5% of you. Please, if you don't want to be insulted and offended, then realize that NO MEANS NO and if you don't get a response it means we aren't interested. If you can't accept NO in an email, I would never meet you anyway because I can't believe that you would accept NO in person and that is too scary.

rm_1SweetBitch 55F
8575 posts
2/23/2006 8:06 am

This is a shame that people, men/women have to go through this on this site. It happens all the time and I find it pathetic. We are all adults on this site, yet some act so childish.

No Day Is So Bad It Can't Be Fixed With Great Sex!

1 SweetBitch

redmustang91 57M  
8662 posts
2/23/2006 8:13 am

I can understand your view that the distance was a barrier. Sounds like he was trying to entice you into phone sex. he should have called you if you were willing to play that game so at least he was paying for the call! Or you both do skype so it is free...

As for guys and "no", after years of training guys learn "No" may mean not yet, or entice me and show persistence... You have biology and your sisters to blame for this conditioning...

LeEnchantress 55F

2/23/2006 8:19 am

Poinpa.. i don't get tons of e-mail but when i do and i'm not interested.. i generally won't hit the AUTOMATIC no thanks reply.
Why. .i don't know. it just seems rude and impersonal and i've heard guys on here complain about it.
However. .i'm now starting to see that AdultFriendFinder has provided us girls these canned responses as a means to protect us! It's sad but true..
It seems lately nine times out of ten.. when i tell a guy no. i'm just not interested in meeting or chatting i get this totally hostile, hateful.. extremely insulting and deroggatory response in return!!
So.. if the guy isn't my cup of tea. i'm either not going to answer.. or do the canned response from now on.
I don't think my self-esteem can stand any more insults frankly.. cuz I've received a ton of them lately.. simply for turning someone down!

Is that warranted or deserved???

Hardly. i sure wasn't rude when i told them no.. but i might have leveled with them as to why.. we are on a different page goal wise.. we don't have much in common, you are married and i don't date married men.. i'm not into S&M or group sex.. whatever.. I'm just trying to be kind in my response.. but it seems I receive not too much kindness in return from some of these fellas.
I never insult them personally.. although they seem to have NO problem whatsoever insulted me personally and in a very degrading manner to boot.
Do I sound pissed off too?
Lately too. i've notice some unsoliticed e-mails from people i've never even talked too.
I've written a few blogs similar the the one you are writing now.
Is it possible now i'm being ridiculed or someone is trying to intimidate me into being silent about how i feel about being treated like dirty by some men on this site??
If you think i'm just talking out of my hat, here is just one of the nasty blogs i've received from a guy i turned down...
He wasn't in my age group.. i found him very unattractive personally and his profile made me grimace just to read it.. His name is hazenoff.
You decide if you'd want to meet a guy like this who wrote this in your blog??
This was after i turned him down in an e-mail.

"You do not have to feel like you need to attack me, for being nice enough to give you a very kind message, and saying hello. I don't care if you think I look 13 in my pic, hell, no one can see anything but your tits in your pic, yet you decide to give me a tirade on looking for the love of your life on here... which is b.s. If you wish for that, I'd suggest -SCREENED- or Perhaps I've come to find out that most women join this site to do one of 3 things, Cheat on thier husbands *cyber or in real life* find other women, or find one night fb's. If you wanna wax all romantic, try putting that train wreck of a face of yours on here, and see how many guys avoid your profile! I mean, jesus christ with a popcicle up his ass lady, if you show nothing but your naughty bits.. and come forth and spit venom at everyone who says hello to you, no wonder your not getting laid. "

Speaking of naughty bits. .i'm fully clothed in my profile.. and besides i see this guy bought a gold membership.. which means he gets to see everyone's naughty bits or explicity nude photos.. so what is he pissed off about really?
The fact i turned him down. the fact i won't show my face on this website.. which after reading his blog and e-mail back i'm very glad of.. (he sounds quite demented to me, and doesn't live far away either, .. or the fact that I won't show him my naughty bits??? LOL

well.. hellfire.. i'm like you.. I am a human being too and think the women on this site deserve alot more respect than we get here sometimes.
So what it is a sex site? does that make us some lower than dirt creature who the guys think they can insult and degrade?
Cuz it seems to be their position.. LOL.. but it's OKAY for them to be on this site.. that doesn't make them whore/sluts whatsoever. Just a normal guys with "needs".
Well. i have needs too.. I need to be with a guy i find attractive, compatible and a decent human being.. If you don't fill these needs i feel.. then i'm going to turn you down..
Deal with it dudes.. you have to in real life. I'm sure you don't go up to a girl who's turned you down and start insulting her in real life.. Cuz that wud make you look like a fool. but here in cyberspace. no one can see your goings on or rants... so you carry on like a fool, or worse...!

I'm glad you wrote this blog. I was starting to think i was the only girl dealing with this type of garbage.
I agree with you wholeheartedly girl... it's the assholes on this site that are probably the main reason that there aren't more girls on here...who wants to deal with this nonsense?

obeyurdom 51M
2 posts
2/23/2006 10:29 am

Well, it's a shame that people have to go through being insulted to get thier point across. People deserve respect not matter what -or who- they are doing.

Next time take his 'real' e-mail address and take out a personal add on a gay site and let him put up with 'Persistant' men! LOL

RockPebble 69M
2487 posts
2/23/2006 12:54 pm

I don't know why there are so many assholes on here or why they gravitate to you. It does seem that men on here don't accept NO any better than they do IRL.

It's obvious that you have an attitude, I enjoy reading about it. Please don't let them discourage you from writing even if it is infrequent.

LeEnchantress 55F

2/24/2006 8:41 am

well. it's not that i have an attiutude about men in general. I"m very sweet and pleasant person in real life, but i sure get tired of being insulted by worthless, rude assholes on this site..
And i don't have to take their shit either.. Just cuz THEY pay to come on this site, does not mean i'm receiving monetary compensation in turn to take their verbal abuse!! LOL
But.. i have alot more problems on this site than i've ever encountered in real life.
I guess if you have a computer screen in front of you.. you have the BALLS to insult someone you've never met and whom you previously wanted to meet just cuz they turned you down!
I see alot of women getting attitudes on here too.. but i can easily see why

rm_poinpa 46F
10 posts
2/24/2006 12:02 pm

I have to agree with LeEnchantress. I got on this site cause I was pissed off at my husband for cheating. But I am generally a nice person. I have met some great guys on here, but the guys just don't seem to realize that we have things we look for in the men we want to meet and if you don't have it..well I can either not respond to you, respond to you and take the verbal abuse, or just say screw it I will fuck you anyway. i am not going to do #3, and numbers 1 and 2 will piss people off.

I did not have an attitude until I got on this site.

LeEnchantress 55F

3/7/2006 2:18 pm

Yup i agree with ya poinpa. some of the guys here must think somehow we have sold ourselves into the whit slave trade or something, the way they act!

lmao!YEAH, right buddy, just cuz you plunked down $25 to join does NOT mean i have to screw you or put up with your stupid immature BS either.
Here's a good one for you to read ladies.. from a character who seemed like a nice guy for a few weeks.
How would you like to find THIS in your IM box early one morning??
"slim_shady10_1999 [offline 6:40:07 PM]: oh well.... act like a bitch.... i didn't think u looked good anyway....your probably not any good anyways.... that's why you don't have a man. all i have to say is FUCK YOU BITCH.... don't bother writing back cause i'm not reading it. YOU FUCKING OLD BITCH"

LeEnchantress 55F

3/7/2006 3:38 pm

what brought on this hateful remark you might ask....
Well.. one evening last week i came home after working for 10 hours str8 and this slim_shady character wanted to chat. When he asked how i was, I replied, Tired!... his reponse was "WHY ARE YOU TIRED????"
I told him that I had worked for 10 hours str8, and he claimed he did too...
I didn't feel like chatting or getting into an argument so I just turned off my computer and went to bed.
Apparently... we girls are not even allowed to be tired or rest if we don't feel like chatting.
That is what pisses me off about so many of these guys poinpa.. they act like we are their flipping slaves or something....???%%%?
I promptly reported this piece of dung to the Yahoo Messenger service and will likely do the same with any other joker on this site who thinks he has some god given right to run his foul mouth off at me!
I'm like you too girl.. I never had an attitude toward men like i do before I joined this site.
This is like seeing men at their worst!!
I feel sorry for hookers.. i can imagine how much mental abuse they must have to endure!

fullysatisfyu 41M
332 posts
4/6/2006 3:34 pm

Does it do any good to report them? If so lets report the hell out of all the assholes before they ruin the fun for all of us!

rm_rae155 59F

5/27/2006 7:24 am

i'm so glad to have read these posts today, i thought i was the only one the men were being rude to. i don't think the men realize how many emails us women receive. i'm so grateful to the men that reply with such polite responses, when i say, 'no, not at this time'. thanks ladies, i'm glad i'm not alone.

big14u83 53M

8/25/2011 8:16 pm

i will agree about the emails telling me "not interested" or "good luck with your search" are nice to get a reply from. but most of the ladies i email say hi and want to talk or chat never give back just that. i can tale it and i will not suffer if you are not interested it's cool, but just keep it real and respectful.

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