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My father’s been recovering in a nursing home for a couple of weeks now as a result of a recent illness and surgery. I make a four hour trip each Saturday from my home to visit him... spend the night, visit with him again on Sunday morning and then head home.
I want to do it, but I’m ashamed to say... it’s very difficult to do. He lays in his bed and really only wants to rest... no TV, no lights, and no radio. I have to force myself to do three hour shifts sitting next to him and talking to him occasionally... about the weather, the kids, etc.
As incentive for these weekly trips... I’ve taken to going out on Saturday night and playing at a local bar near his home. In fact, I have come to really look forward to it!
Robert’s... is a hardcore, townie bar and has become the primary focus of my weekly excess. The regular bartender is an incredible beauty... who either was, is, or certainly could be... an exotic dancer! She has a strong, self assured personality ‒ which really appeals to me... I would love to get to know her... but, obviously, so would every other guy who walks into the bar... and it’s never going to happen!
I am also mildly in love though with the waitress... an enticing young woman with the most beautiful, delicate hands... fingers. As with all of us though, she has a story ‒ not quite 30, two divorces, and three kids... fighting to regain custody of her children -- and maybe not an uncommon story for this place either. In some of my earlier visits, she seemed mildly interested and made a lot of great eye contact (do you think) but now seems purposefully to ignore me... (Oh well!)
Last Saturday night the place was much wilder than usual... the crowed was trashed and several fights broke out... I sat next to a woman at the bar who was totally wasted... and she almost immediately attacked me... she told me a hundred times how handsome I was and without much delay... she started begging me to come home with her and have sex. Unfortunately, she would also periodically break down in tears and tell me how desperately lonely she was... Oh and, of course, this was not a woman of either the bartender’s or waitress’s appearance. It got very uncomfortable and I was relieved when she finally left with the guy sitting on the other side of me... who was so drunk he could hardly talk... but with whom, I got the impression, she may have left with before.
A beautiful young woman walked in with friends... I stared... petite woman, very small breasts, with short, shaggy, red hair... boyish and dressed all in black... oh god please! Shit... Engaged! (I’m sure way too young to be interested in me anyway!)
I finally left... and maybe just as lonely as my earlier admirer... but, unlike her -- alone... when will I learn? I swear I’m a 20 year old kid trapped in an old man’s body... destined to be tortured for the rest of my life...