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Whose Dick Is It Anyway!?
Whose Dick Is It Anyway!?
I was reading an article about significant life moments and I laughed because one of my favorites came when I realized sex with a partner wasn't anything I had learned from jerking off as a young teen! That started a process I only wish I had started on sooner!
Let's put this into perspective. As an adolescent and teen once you discover that swollen throbbing penis and thrill to the shooting hot cum you're on two roads: one to self-discovery, but one that is also a dead end. Think about porn movies: aren't they just a masturbation fantasy? I mean the sex object never gets asked about what she wants or heaven forbid, makes a suggestion about what would please her. No it's all swollen throbbing cocks and shooting hot cum. Just another step down that same road of jerk-off fantasies.
At some point it finally dawned on me that sex was more than getting it up, getting it in and getting it over! It was about her. At that point it dawned on me that after all it was our dick. I mean women are so sexy precisely because they offer themselves, their enthusiam and passion to you. They try so hard to make it perfect. Right under a guys nose and yet so oblivious to it!
This process went hand in hand with another step: learning the joy of cunnilingus. I'm to the point now that I would almost rather become impotent than lose my love for this most intimate type of sex. My heart races whenever I think of the delicious perfume (all natural), the mysterious folds and contours of the labia, the changes in colors down to the deep pink of her hunny hole and best of all the way a clit will stiffen, swell and harden, pushing into my tongue and face while the breathing almost stops until release washes over her. I love to use my hands too, with two in her vagina (g spot and a scissors with a third finger in her anus, sliding and twisting and circling). Sometimes, I will gently pinch behind the clit to stretch it and gently rub my fingers behind the clit while my tongue does it's heavenly work.
What was great about oral sex was of course I admire the capacity of many women to cum again and again. Who wouldn't want to take his or her time to enjoy that? At this point it was OK to have an unattended hard-on, or even lose it temporarily. After all, like most guys, my problem was not be able to cum, but to cum when it was fun and at the right time. I was learning patience!
Finally, I had learned that it was OK to stop my build-up and actually stop what was going on if I was getting too excited. I could switch positions or erotic activity to let my build-up dissipate. I read somewhere that you can ignore the sensations at the end of your cock and enjoy the electricity say in your hands as you touch, stroke and squeeze your lover's body. I found this trick a little difficult, but sometimes it works. Thank goodness I had discovered the cock-ring. Makes sure I'm as hard as I can be after the slow down. I could never understand the idea of thinking about, say, the line-up of the 1978 Yankees while you're ignoring the lover you're with. You should be thinking of her and telling her all the honest, but truly wonderful things about her that make you hot and glad she said "yes".
I know I'm not the world's best lover, but there are women who appreciate being given the gift of time, patience and persistence, even if only for one time. At that point I finally took responsibility for doing my best to be a pleaser. I had turned a corner in my life. I was never very good at the self-absorbed "bad boy" role anyway.
Hey I enjoy a quickie as much as anyone-that rush to explosion is great! But I'd much rather take my time. I read once that the biggest human sex organ is the brain. I agree, but only to the extent that all 5 senses are used. Most important are listening and watching, responding to what you see and hear. I don't take affront when given a suggestion or instruction. What's the downside, giving another human being pleasure to spare? Believe me if it leads to the best suggestion of all: "Fuck Me!" What more could a person ask?
Maybe in sex ed, instead of teaching abstinence, we should teach boys to make a point of holding off ejaculation, enjoying each precious and incredible sensation and getting the gift of insight that teaches him that a woman wants the same thing too at her pace and to her capacity. When a boy thinks his cumming is the main point, everyone loses something.
6/6/2006 1:12 pm
I can't believe no one posted on your "process", very stimulating|
Don't worry, be Happy