ok one before bed  

rm_oneeyedbob2 52M
24 posts
12/20/2005 11:14 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

ok one before bed

first off i have to say this is great being able to talk to people. and not having to worry about what you say. you all must know a little about me. I am writing a book right now about my life. if i tell you how mine started then you would all feel sorry for me. and i learned from the things that happened to me and im not afraid of them. but i will give you a taste of my book. the first chapter starts out when i was eight years old. big second grader. anyway my first crush on a teacher. anyway she asked us to get some form of nature to bring to class the next day. and with only four days left i couldnt wait to get home and get what i knew i would bring. so i ran all the way home. and asked mom to let me go to the river (since we lived so close and played there many times) to get crawdads. yeps a great part of nature that i was use to getting. anyway to make a long story short. mom made my sister take me to the river that day which turned out to be a life changing event for me. you see on the way home. this guy jumped out of the bushes and repeatedly stabbed my sister and me. we both died. but by the grace of god we made it. but did we make it. for the next 6 years of our lives we watched our courts let the same guy go after being accoused of killing little girls. (sorry i always cry here) so did we really live that day. well i changed i have been afraid of men every since this day. and i have been over protective of the ladies and children. oh i help when i can. like this year i took my rent money and bought 150 gifts off a tree at my college where i now go full time. those kids needed christmas. my landlord understood if he didnt then i would have moved into my car. but i do thing like this alot. so thats why im back in college. to learn how to give another way. its going to take me a long time. i have to get to kids after a trauma has happened to help them. being as we didnt get any help. I created many patterns in my life after this day. and im slowly working them out. i get real angry about domestic violence (first off the word domestic means tame) too me its the worst crime in the world. anyway part of me im putting out there for people to read. do not feel sorry for me. as my book is filed with horror stories about my life. and im not ashamed of them i hide from the world now. all alone. needing someone in my life. dont treat me like a victim. treat me like a friend because thats what i need right now more then anything. friends. i added that i feel courageous because this is something i have never let out to many people. im good at hiding my feelings and this helps me to unhide myself.

rm_cockmerollme 45F
1223 posts
12/20/2005 11:56 pm

I'm sorry. Love can heal.


rm_oneeyedbob2 52M

12/21/2005 12:11 am

dont feel sorry for me. the things of my past have been possible to make me who i am today. i am a woman in a mans body. well ok maybe im a man. but i think and act like a woman because i have been afraid to have guys around me my whole life. only the women have been allowed around me. i tell people im more woman then man and im leaning towards the lesbien side because i like to eat pussy. one of my favorite things in the whole world to do. maybe the best thing i like. anyway love is hard to find. when you do find it it tends to go away. i am someone who gives the little things. like notes on the pillow or table in the am if she dont have to work telling her how much i care. or scraping the ice off the window so they dont have to do it. i get too carried away. anyway this sight might help me out. just being able to tell people about things i should have allready dealt with before 40 oh wait 6 days and another year older dang and still all alone. go figure.

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