Sexual Guilt Trips.  

rm_occidental74 42M
13 posts
6/15/2006 2:57 pm

Last Read:
7/1/2006 2:05 pm

Sexual Guilt Trips.

(This post was initially blocked because it was alleged it contained an e-mail address. I've checked it. There's not e-mail address in it so I am submitting it again unchanged. Your AdultFriendFinder webbot got it wrong.)

Hmm, it's been a while since I updated this blog. What to say? Well, I guess I have been busy with work. Saving up money for my forthcoming trip to China. Fingers crossed.

I've decided to remove one of my previous uploaded photos. It's one of the Japanese anime art. Some of these depictions show what looks like very young girls in semi-naked or naked pose. It would probably be a good idea to remove it, to assuage my conscience.

I started this sexy blog in January. One thing hasn't changed. My desire to embark on one sexual guilt trip after another. My desire to embark on yet another road to Calgary or yet another ritual of self-flagellation. I sigh and shake my head. Unbelieveable!! The past has such an iron grip on the present.

Anyway, I hope to go to China soon and, well, I have decided to "clean up" my laptop computer before I go. Yet another example of a sexual guilt trip!! Clean off all the porn before I leave. But, don't worry. . I'll upload my favourite porn to my blogspot and blogsource blogs. . All will not be lost forever.

Anyway, yeah, I engage in self-censorship sometimes. And, sometimes, I am fed-up with doing this and this attitude. To be my mind, a discussion on sex involves letting go of one's inhibitions, writing freely. Sure, it wouldn't be wise to name names. I've learned that. But, surely, the point of keeping a sex blog is to commit one's forbidden thoughts to paper or internet where they can be shared by others. [sighs] I guess a balance will have to be stuck. Of course, the occasional bigot who posts comments to my blog would rather that I didn't write at all. They won't be getting their way. I will continue to write about important sexual matters.

Okay, one thing of perhaps some interest. I went to a webcam website to look at some of the gorgeous women there. About 2 months ago, I discovered this absolutely delicious young fresh Asian young thing. I won't say which country she's from. Very cute face. Lovely smile. Beautiful eyes. Nice. Very small breasts though. But, I didn't care. I was hooked on her, I suppose. I occasionally visited the webcam site again to say hello. Whenever she asked me for a private (where I pay money of course with my credit card) I said no because I didn't have the money at the time.

Anyway, my financial position improved a little bit last week and, well, I plucked up enough courage and motivation to go into a private with this gorgeous young thing. . 30 euro for like 10 minutes or 15 minutes. Man,what a rip-off but that is almost a separate issue. Needless to say, if you're rich, then this is the thing for you!!.

Anyway, this was the first time I had done this. I didn't know what to do or to say. In private, she asked if she could see me. I said ok. I was nervous. My heart was pounding fast (probably). I connected my webcam and my micrphone. She wanted to hear me too. But, she couldn't hear or see me. I don't know why. Anyway, I could hear her now. I couldn't hear her in public.

So, anyway, she was dressed in this blood red bra and bikini. Very nice. Very sexy. Very seductive. So, anyway, she says she will take off her bra. She took off her bra. Fine. Then, she started to massage her breasts. Fine. Maybe, a little bit exciting for me. The act of undressing and massaging the breasts with both hands. But, remember, I was nervous. I just didn't know what to do. A minute later, she asked me if I was aroused. I told her in a roundabout way that I wasn't. I was just too nervous and I told her this.

She laughed. Ah, I guess she was considerate enough. . She then started to wriggle a bit and dance a bit, rocking her hips, gyrating her hips. Nice. In hindsight, I should have asked her to do more of this. Oh, I asked her at one stage to show her legs more. She obliged. She also turned around to show her nice bottom. And she pulled down her bikini a little bit but didn't show her pussy.

Anyway, before long, my time was up. I was given a last 120 second warning and a last 60 second warning. Then, it was over. Ah, what a pity!!.

I thanked her back in the public space. She was nice. I started to play the chivalrous gent a.k.a. the plain jackass/idiot by giving her my msn messenger number, my e-mail, my blogspot blog address. But, well, her English isn't hot. I don't think she would understand much of my blogspot entries even if she were disposed to reading them. But, anyway, this sugar-daddy role is very tempting to me sometimes.

So, a day later, I popped in again to the chatroom and said hello. She was very nice to me. Very polite. But, realistically, I'll have to accept that she's after my money not my heart. . LOL. Though, I didn't keep telling her I didn't have much of it. But, I guess I'll have to accept she was honest enough with me. .

What else to write about? My AdultFriendFinder gold monthly subscription runs out in a few days. Maybe, I should take the last day or two on making a splurge of sexual propositions to some nice girls (with pics of course) for some rip-roaring fun with no-springs attached. We can have an orgy of sex. Explore our bodies and break all the rules of normal societal behaviour. Enjoy each other's company and companionship. Explore each other's fantasies. But, even in an webcam chat room, where she couldn't even see me, I was nervous. LOL

Anyway, I'll remove the Japanese anime another time.

Paul Carr


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