Loneliness  

rm_occidental74 42M
13 posts
4/14/2006 4:26 am

Last Read:
4/17/2006 8:50 pm

Loneliness

Loneliness

I would like to report an incident about a week ago. I was lying in my bed, utterly alone. And, I felt this complete pain, this pain of loneliness. I'm nearly 32 years old. And I looked back at my past nearly 14 years of adult life. Every decision I took during those years were my own. No one else's.. And there I was, by my self, in my bed, utterly and completely alone. It was one of the most horrible experience I had ever experienced. I felt, as if, pinned down by an accusing finger, from under which I could not wiggle free.. I was aging. I'm not a young kid any more. The darkness enveloped around me. And, all there was, was me, there, in the darkness, utterly alone. There was nothing I could do.

I could have run away again into the chasm of my vivid imagination, where it is ever-green, ever-blossoming, ever-fruitful. But, then I would not have lived. I would have only been pretending. Like in the film, "The Matrix", I would, in reality, have been plugged into a huge machine, run by machines, using me as nothing more than a battery, whilst inside my mind, I was entertaining another pleasant world, created by the machines to keep me docile and innocent and asleep.

Yet, I guess, this experience is a fruitful one for me. I can learn from it. I should face my loneliness, face my demons. Because I am mortal. And one day I will die. In the meantime, I should live, and live life to the best of my ability and to the fullest.


absolutelynormal 56F
6563 posts
4/14/2006 7:13 am

I know this pain that you speak of all too well. Blogging helps me deal with it. We're all friends here in blogville, most can relate to whatever you're going through. Humans are meant to be social animals, residing alone makes us uncomfortable, not all of us, but many. I'm still adapting to being alone. I don't feel so alone when I blog. BLOG ON! (you're not alone, we're here) Mac


rm_occidental74 42M
5 posts
4/17/2006 8:50 pm

Hi Absolutelynormal,

Thank you for your support and kind remarks. I can identify with you.

Paul Carr


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