|
|
I am content and happy for once :)
|
Posted:Mar 3, 2006 11:02 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
391 Views
|
It has been a serious up and down ride, but such a huge change took place in her when she realized she could lose me forever.
I spoke to her parents with a translator and told them I was serious she needed to make a choice in her life.
They promised me to give her some time and forgive her that she would soon be the woman I fell in love with...they were right.
Again, tonight, she told me to please forget the past that I am all she thinks about and the only person she can see a future with because when bad times came, I stayed with her and never gave up on her.
I was the only one that called her every night while our was in the hospital, and if she wanted me to call her one hour or two hours later, I called again. She said nobody in her life has a heart like mine and she wants to never lose it.
Good thing is that I believe her because it brings her to tears when she speaks about losing me, bad thing is she pretty much confirmed to me that she was cheating on me when friends had told me she was.
She will not yet openly admit it and I still believe that is important to just come totally clean. I would if I had something like this. We talk about no secrets all the time.
Her parents told me they want her close to "watch her" and make sure she keeps the vows to me because they can see in everything I do I love their "first" grandson.
Her apartment is so far from her parents and they want to help with her 's recovery. Our house in Cartagena is less than 75 feet out the back door to her parents.
She has not lived there but bought the house several years ago before being married.
I spoke with her parents and we decided to fix up our home in Cartagena rather than pay rent at her apartment. Then we will rent it out when they come to America.
The decision to change her address only took place yesterday because our was in the hospital these past 4 days with an infection.
Simple thing here but was misdiagnosed there a few months ago, medicated with the wrong stuff until he broke a 101.6 fever.
They have been sort of an estranged family for some time and I have tried very hard to ask many questions about why this is when both her and her parents have the same views about close family ties
I have felt a change taking place within her and now within her parents, who really want to be involved with her and our while the visa process finishes to build some happy memories.
I don't want to lose another minute of being without her and her . My Immigration Attorney has filed the Visa Fiancee with the Service Center today.
Sounds mushy but true, I actually am thinking that after some recovery time. I found a cheap ticket to return to Cartegena in late April early May...love to be there in time to go to Bogota with her. If anyone at the American Embassy can see us together, they know it is love that will last forever.
I just need to find a Spanish class so that I can speak to her easier. She and I have worked hard to understand each other and I think we do, the longer she keeps speaking English the better she gets but she has nobody to speak English with. She is trying to teach her some words..but when she stops speaking English then it get difficult for her.
I have a large $200 per month phone bill at .15 per minute but we practice talking and listening, we learn new words every night. She is very intelligent like her .
I just can't believe that there is one woman in the world that I could find that I believe is worth forgiving most of all because that is hard for me to do, but secondly that I just don't want to go through life without.
Her laugh and her way of calming me, relaxing me by simply talking to me is just beyond anything I know...it isn't in her words so much but it is in how these words are coming straight from her heart and I can feel it.
I just realized I am babbling on, love what an intoxicating ingredient in life...and I think necessary for me.
Thanks for the kindness and courtesy of your attention.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
I forgave her but I still have my eyes open...
|
Posted:Feb 22, 2006 10:29 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
355 Views
|
We have had several fabulous conversations and I feel the person I first met in Sept 2005 as well as Dec 2005, is back.
Every kind word she has said just makes my heart burn for her. I don't know if I am just that big of a sucker or what...
She makes me melt, with her care and the way she weaves her magic.
The way she says she loves me and wants to finish life with me...that she wants to have with me and how lucky she is to have my love...my God..she just makes me feel so much a better person...
She talks about things that I haven't even talked about and hits the subject out of the park without any pitch from me....
...as much as I have written here, I have to say that if she IS NOT MY OTHER HALF...I do not know that I have one.
We understand each other and yet, she speaks better English than I do Spanish...but her English is not perfect...somehow I know what she is trying to say...
I never have felt that I needed someone to complete me...I never felt I needed someone to make life worthwhile....I never felt I needed someone the way I need her..
I feel so much a part of her family...I speak regularly to her parents and I feel like I am part of something I have never known.
I speak to her every day, I write her passionate emails each day and when she finally has a chance to go she spends an hour to reading what I wrote.
She tells me I really give my heart to her in every email and she just loves it.
My day really does not seem complete until I make that late night call...I hear her soft sweet voice speaking words to me that the greatest screenplay writer, or actress in the world could speak...
It comes from her heart and I can feel her soul speak to me...I can feel her love and I am a damned fool to give up on her.
I can not pass this by..we have all the documents in route to an Immigration Attorney because I don't want this messed up or stretched out any longer...
I am planning a secret trip to see her for a short time, possibly a make believe wedding ceremony..because if we go the real route it screws up the Fiancee Visa here...and the spousal visa takes longer these days..
It also takes time to get the "official" documents without being in country for at least a month.
...she says it doesn't matter she just wants to spend life with me and I would like to share a wedding with her family...she has been married before and says she wants this for me..
What a woman...and if she is playing me...I just can't believe anyone can be that good at deception with this kind of heart....
BOTTOM LINE IS === I LOVE HER VERY MUCH!
Life isn't life, unless I can have her in it with me.
Thanks for reading and I am not sure I will be back to blog or not...
I feel selfish but I want to keep all the good stuff to savor on my own...sorry.
I can't describe it so it wouldn't help.
Take care of yourselves and the people you love because nothing makes you feel better or worse!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Happy Valentine's Day.....her same old tricks appear..
|
Posted:Feb 14, 2006 12:24 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
332 Views
|
I think it is possible she is up to the same old tricks of playing games with me.
I think she put her childto sleep then when out to party and dance tonight...she let some words slip that let me know...
She has been so lovely for so long I think I ahve not been listening to her...I wanted to hear/read what I wanted...
I begin to think she is not ready for the same serious committment she promised to me.
I am sad that I can't find an honest woman that wants a good man that would never lie to her or cheat on her....who wishes the best for her.
Tomorrow is a big day for me, I see a Neuro Surgeon for an opinion of surgery on my back.
I am nervous and need to go to sleep.
I think it is time to find an honest woman looking for a good man to spend life with....maybe not a woman from this site.
Happy Valentine's Day to those of you with and without a Valentine.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Thoughts of her....con amor
|
Posted:Feb 12, 2006 11:31 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
410 Views
|
Today we spoke again.
I can't tell anyone reading this what it means when I hear her voice, what I feel.
She tells me that at the birthday party for her her Father was asking more intense questions of her.
Her Father, a smart man, said that he felt I didn't trust her and he wanted to know what she has done. Why she would break promise to me and why I worried about her not wearing my ring.
She told me that she explained to her Father that I love her and her very much and that I worry about everything.
Her Father worries that they will not be safe in America, like any good Father.
I told her that if she does NOT feel as though she can trust me that she should not come to America.
If she does NOT love me she should not come to America.
If she does NOT believe I am the only man for her she should tell me now, I would understand.
I wanted her to answer her own doubts, her own questions. I think she knows I know more and I can't find a way to confront those things that now seem so unimportant.
I believe in second chances and I feel this is foolish of me, but I am a fool for love...what if everything I think I know was only a story made up by other people because they don't like the woman I love.
I never thought it was possible but I guess I look for an excuse to love her beyond the possible cheating that goes with some lies, broken promises.
I have re-injured myself from a car accident and I look at a surgery as a possibilty. I am in great pain but and a few intense prescriptions.
I use to have some great fantasy or memories from my trip and times with her...
She is such a fun lover and we enjoyed a lot of foreplay, fondling, as well as multiple positions..the first woman that in my life wanted slow non stop different types of sexual stimulations that last for hours before actually getting into some hot steamy sex...
I want to fly to her now, take her in my arms, kiss her, slowly caress her, fondle her and make sweet slow love to her until we are both hot and sweaty again....
Thanks for reading and for those of you that feel so inclined, leave a note.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Thoughts of her....con amor
|
Posted:Feb 12, 2006 11:30 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
410 Views
|
Today we spoke again.
I can't tell anyone reading this what it means when I hear her voice, what I feel.
She tells me that at the birthday party for her her Father was asking more intense questions of her.
Her Father, a smart man, said that he felt I didn't trust her and he wanted to know what she has done. Why she would break promise to me and why I worried about her not wearing my ring.
She told me that she explained to her Father that I love her and her very much and that I worry about everything.
Her Father worries that they will not be safe in America, like any good Father.
I told her that if she does NOT feel as though she can trust me that she should not come to America.
If she does NOT love me she should not come to America.
If she does NOT believe I am the only man for her she should tell me now, I would understand.
I wanted her to answer her own doubts, her own questions. I think she knows I know more and I can't find a way to confront those things that now seem so unimportant.
I believe in second chances and I feel this is foolish of me, but I am a fool for love...what if everything I think I know was only a story made up by other people because they don't like the woman I love.
I never thought it was possible but I guess I look for an excuse to love her beyond the possible cheating that goes with some lies, broken promises.
I have re-injured myself from a car accident and I look at a surgery as a possibilty. I am in great pain but and a few intense prescriptions.
I use to have some great fantasy or memories from my trip and times with her...
She is such a fun lover and we enjoyed a lot of foreplay, fondling, as well as multiple positions..the first woman that in my life wanted slow non stop different types of sexual stimulations that last for hours before actually getting into some hot steamy sex...
I want to fly to her now, take her in my arms, kiss her, slowly caress her, fondle her and make sweet slow love to her until we are both hot and sweaty again....
Thanks for reading and for those of you that feel so inclined, leave a note.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Thoughts of her....con amor
|
Posted:Feb 12, 2006 11:28 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
385 Views
|
Today we spoke again.
I can't tell anyone reading this what it means when I hear her voice, what I feel.
She tells me that at the birthday party for her her Father was asking more intense questions of her.
Her Father, a smart man, said that he felt I didn't trust her and he wanted to know what she has done. Why she would break promise to me and why I worried about her not wearing my ring.
She told me that she explained to her Father that I love her and her very much and that I worry about everything.
Her Father worries that they will not be safe in America, like any good Father.
I told her that if she does NOT feel as though she can trust me that she should not come to America.
If she does NOT love me she should not come to America.
If she does NOT believe I am the only man for her she should tell me now, I would understand.
I wanted her to answer her own doubts, her own questions. I think she knows I know more and I can't find a way to confront those things that now seem so unimportant.
I believe in second chances and I feel this is foolish of me, but I am a fool for love...what if everything I think I know was only a story made up by other people because they don't like the woman I love.
I never thought it was possible but I guess I look for an excuse to love her beyond the possible cheating that goes with some lies, broken promises.
I have re-injured myself from a car accident and I look at a surgery as a possibilty. I am in great pain but and a few intense prescriptions.
I use to have some great fantasy or memories from my trip and times with her...
She is such a fun lover and we enjoyed a lot of foreplay, fondling, as well as multiple positions..the first woman that in my life wanted slow non stop different types of sexual stimulations that last for hours before actually getting into some hot steamy sex...
I want to fly to her now, take her in my arms, kiss her, slowly caress her, fondle her and make sweet slow love to her until we are both hot and sweaty again....
Thanks for reading and for those of you that feel so inclined, leave a note.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Heart, mind, soul, belief or disbelief
|
Posted:Feb 12, 2006 2:44 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
390 Views
|
Spoke to her briefly today twice...
I can't describe what it does to me when I speak to her...it creates this sensation deep inside and I don't mean a sexual one.
I feel like I am talking to someone that makes me whole...now I know that is a contradiction because nobody needs some else to make them whole.
They had a beautiful birthday party at her mother's house for her 3 year old . I provided money for the provisions.
I called early in the morning to be one of the first to say Happy Birthday as planned and as planned I call early evening hoping for some "me" time.
Well, I got about 2 minutes and she needed to return to the party...
Her mother said hello and hwo grateful she was that I would do such a wonderful thing...not bad from a woman who less than 4 days ago said I was bringing shame on their family by not providing enough money for a 30 party...when all I said was I would help.
I guess help means take full financial responsibility in other languages..
Her father was happy and wanted to speak to me...life would be a lot easier once a get through some Spanish Classes...he probably told me thanks dumb ass for a hell of a party..
I don't think I am being taken advantage of but some times it feels like I get no respect for the kind things I do just because I do them...
I mean what could of it hurt for her to take 10 minutes to talk to me...I mean it was great to hear her tell me she loves me and she appreciates what I have done for "our" on his birthday...and she can't wait to celebrate the his next birthday in the states...
My mind instantly thought here with me or with the other smuck that is too cheap to do anything other than use her..I still bet her is married and just messing with her until he gets caught..
I don't know with her recent 360 degree turn around in attitude to me, maybe she realized the other jerk was just playing her like all the other men that have come into her life...except of course me the one who loves her beyond all the stupid things she does...
Well, I shouldn't say stupid...more like immature or unwise...I don't want to call anyone I love so deeply stupid.
Thank you to those of you that post a comment. I appreciate hearing what others have to say even if it doesn't agree with me.
I am really having an inner struggle as to whether I should just tell her I don't think this is going to work...
I know I can't say I doubt her sincerity because that got me the silent treatment for 5 days last time....
I can't say, I know there is another man involved or was...why couldn't we just speak about that...that cost me 4 days of silence last time..
I mean for god's sake I proposed to her on after Christmas dinner in her house in front of her parents and she said yes.
I gave her a gorgeous ring and yet she refers to me as her boyfriend....I think of her as my wife and even though I have an ad here, there has been no response to it...other than a hello here and there...
Maybe I expect too much...I mean not many people love as deeply truely with commitment and conviction as I do...not many people think that going with a friend to a bar and dancing intimately with them is a problem when you are wearing someone else's ring...
I am sorry, I have a problem with that last one. Not jealous, just think a woman in love wouldn't put herself in that position to dishonor her husband to be..
I feel her mind, her soul, her body is only for me to touch in anyway and for someone else it should be off limits because we all know where touching leads...especially when you are a sensual person that loves to be touched as she is..
..he is just a friend doesn't work for me ok...I am not out doing this stuff because I believe in the love I have...and it would never set right in my own mind to be out with someone..
If it were possible and offered, I would love to have some great sexual experiences with a lot of women I have said hello to on here....but I couldn't because in my mind...my own heart, soul, and out of shape body...her Mr. Dick...belongs to her when I put that ring on her finger...
I wrote the add here to see what response I could get and maybe I could start over with someone I could find total trust with them...
I am trying to turn the other cheek but man, I feel like I am unappreciated for who I am...that my honesty, sincerity, love and even spontaneous generousity means nothing....I know differently because many women would love that sort of thing..but the many are not who I seek...only the one!
Long distance relationships are a bitch...make no bones about it people...but if trust would have remained there would have never been an issue other than I am lonely to wake up next to her and watch her breathing next to me.
I love the touch of her skin, her smile, her laugh and I love the way that some times she doesn't understand me because she makes me a better person by helping me to learn how to explain things differently.
It isn't all about the sex, it is great, but it is about her personality and just how life feels when I hold her hand and walk down the street..
The simple feelings setting down to dinner with her and automatically we begin to feed each other from the other's plate...
I feel she is my soulmate and I am going to fight to keep her...the biggest battle will be in my mind...and I hope that she can give me something that will help to erase my concerns...
I would rather be by her side then without her because I just have never felt this great about another person before...or this crappy.
Sick little puppy I am....
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Turn the other cheek ?
|
Posted:Feb 11, 2006 1:15 am
Last Updated:Jun 8, 2006 9:20 pm
395 Views
|
Well the last few days have been heaven again...
She is communicating with me regularly and the conversations are more like the woman I knew when I spent 10 days with her in September...19 days during Christmas.
She is laughing again and telling me how I am the best man in her life, the only man in her life and that she is sorry that we have had a difficult time.
She couldn't remember breaking her promise to me so I couldn't resist bringing it up when she wanted me to make her a promise.
She was quiet for awhile denying then she cried as if she cared..I felt it came from her heart but part of thought...this is a set-up for some other sort of manipulation...
She said she didn't realize that she broke it even though she remembers telling me why she broke the promise...
I wasn't trying to hurt her, I just wanted to know if she had a conscience, if her heart was really open...
The thing about women is, I really don't think they know what they want long term...I think they think they know but I think they are more into the moment...
We spoke a lot from the heart and I also apologized for being a bit harsh and unforgiving in my emails...you women always get us guys to apologize even when we didn't do anything to apologize for...
I just don't like to be played with and lied to. If you want to chase other men, say so at least I know to move on. Don't be all you are the man for me, the man for life, my future then when you think I am not paying attention you are out with other men.
I mean even with your friends, it looks bad..it's no respect when you deny that it even happened and you know my friends saw you...
I want this woman in my life forever but I won't spend it looking over my shoulder seeing who she is spending time with when it should be me and her family...
She wants me to bring her Nana ( basically the person that does all the house chores and cooking). It sounds great because the lady can COOK some food...WOW!
But the bad side is, it continues to give her an excuse to use her "free time" unwisely...she is a mother and needs to be the mom...not duck it with a Nana...
ONE thing her mother and I seem to agree on 
Always nice to score points with the possible Mother-in-law...
Then she tells me that we don't need to bring her right away, maybe for the wedding or when the baby comes...
She keeps talking about wanting a female baby with me no matter what it takes because she knows that is God's choice not ours.
Tomorrow is her 's birthday and she wants me to call him early in the morning to be the first to wish him happy birthday....
..in the other part of my dark mind...I think maybe the guy that is with her tonight will be the first to say happy birthday...I get the pretend shot at it...
She didn't want to speak tonight and wanted to go to bed. She had a big day shopping with my money for all the itmes for a 30 birthday party tomorrow at her mother's house..guess that could wear you out but I would be so wired that I would want to talk forever..
I know he is only going to be 3 but I can stop thinking about him now and it is nearly 1 am PST...I have to call in 5 hours, 9 her time.
She has been through so much and I have doubts...but I can't stop my heart from telling me to give her another chance....
...then of course the rational side tells me how many lies and broken promises are too much...will she bail on me when she gets to the states to run-off to this other American Guy that I know she wrote to..the cheap bastard and he is probably married then she comes back to me...and I send her ass home to Colombia.
The rational side says if she lied about these little things, maybe she would do it in front of me too...lie about going out for a drink after work with the co-workers, working late at the office...you know all those dark soap opera things....
..but the heart, and NOT as she says "HER DICK" says give her a chance...
..that's another thing she keeps talking to me about how much she likes my Dick. She says it is perfect for her in every way...
What man in his right mind wouldn't want to hear that....of course, how many guys fell for the fake orgasm thing too with a woman...I'm raising my hand, smile..
One thing is for sure, there is nothing fake about her in that department...you know when you hit the big "O" with her or even the tiny "O"...
I don't think in all of this that I am thinking with my dick....I feel like all my thoughts are from the heart, the soul and the mind for once.
I am just hard core deep in love with her....I can feel it....but where the hell is she in all of it?
Will us guys ever get a clue?
Happy Birthday to my Colombian ! I wish for you to never have these same difficulties that your mother and I have had...I know you will but I hope I have a chance to give you advice that will help you.
I know I am going to love her and I think I just as well forget everthing prior to last week and give the chance to start over...
What me turn into a jealous over protective idiot that drives her away anyway in time...my luck...
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Forgiveness for lies - Women have the power.
|
Posted:Feb 8, 2006 10:35 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
350 Views
|
Conversations of late have lead me dangersouly close to forgiving her for lying and breaking promises to me...
Feel there is something seriously wrong with a man who would compromise his own values for love and full well knowing this person will probably do it all again because she knows this heart of mine my be upset for awhile but I do forgive.
She admitted some of the lesser crimes of the relationship which I felt was a huge step to rebuilding....
My BEST friend gave me a piece of advice and I thought I would share but I won't share her name because I never asked her. She doesn't know about this site but I felt honored what she relayed to me being much younger than me it took me by surprise...
I wrote this:
Most women think I am too old and maybe this is part of why I can't let go of HER from my heart.
Maybe I don't want to believe that I gave all my love to the wrong person again.
I am crazy can be the only real answer.
With much respect she answered;
"You are not crazy, you are in love, and this is something we can not avoid, sometimes when we love somebody we blind ourselves and try to see
just what we want to see, I tell you this because It has happened to me, and I really think the only way to awake of this is by living experiences and once you live something you will never let that happen again, YOU HAVE TO BE SURE OF WHAT YOU WANT AND IF YOU CAN TRUST THAT PERSON, IF YOU FEEL YOU CAN REALLY TRUST GIVE THE PERSON YOU LOVE ANOTHER CHANCE, IF YOU
ARE NOT SURE DO NOT DO IT CAUSE THINGS ARE NOT GOING TO WORK OUT FOR SURE.
PLEASE THINK ABOUT ALL YOU HAVE LIVED AND TRY TO AVOID THE THING YOU DO NOT WANT IN YOUR LIFE."
My BEST friend in the world of only a few months...I love you for your care, your pure honesty and most of all your own integrity.
The hours tick by and I am thinking of everything. Simple things have stronger meaning about her character.
My friend's words tell many many things even as I try to rest and my friend is wiser than her few years of life. Thank you!
I know nothing more than what I did...
We were to speak at 7 Cartagena time, her phone rang then in was like it became unplugged for several hours.
I called her mom without a translator this time, I understood that I should try in one hour to call her at home.
I tried until 11 Cartagena no answer....my fear begins to think she picked up some money I sent for her 's 3 year old birthday party on Saturday and went to party with her cheap cowardly friend with no money, except now my money.
I bet her own mother doesn't know because when I call her she tells me maybe her grandson is asleep so she will not answer phone. I should try tomorrow.
It is all a game after so many hours of speaking to this family I think I found the worst possible type of people preying on someone searching for love.
I find it unbelievable but it appears true. I seek wisdom in my sleep and the inspiration to move towards the journey to find someone true.
I need the courage to walk away from this love that will destroy me with her weaknesses.
I need the heart to believe a friend that has no other interest than being my TRUE BEST friend.
Oh yea, just in case...no there is no romance with and will not be with my new BEST Friend, she is and always will be my BEST friend in the WORLD because she was herself.
Thanks friend.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Lies and relationships...why does it have to be difficult?
|
Posted:Feb 4, 2006 3:02 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
366 Views
|
I spoke to my so called wife twice today the first time was about mid afternoon..me getting grilled because I didn't call when I told her it was necessary for her to have her phone turne ON to get calls.
Her 2 year old must have turned tit off..
Long nice conversation and she seemed like the exact woman I left in Colombia after Christmas...the same one that two days later was seeem by not 1 but 3 of my firends with a Colombian male most assuredled not her brother or father..
She denies stil that there is anyone else and takes great offence to it...though she has taken her sweet time to get all the documents for the Visa...and my contact says she is making two copies plus the original...
..once again for the other American guy that probably doesn't have a clue...he will when he tries to file and it get rejected due to her fraud...love to see both of their eyes then...just how stupid did they think I am.
She was all lovey dovey today and talking about our wedding and the baby we both wanted...I have offered 3 times to sell everything I have and move down there to be with her until we can get thing squared away..or just stay in Colombia, in love.
heer answer makes me weary that she has done som much stuff in town that, maybe she would be worred I would eventually learn about it from the people we meet.
Then she went of on this tangent that she wanted me to bring her babysitter too America as well and that she would be more than happy to work off the cost of the tickets....
Coming out of left field on this one because less than a week ago she didn't trust this person and wanted to fire her...because she felt she couldn't trust her...
I am thinking the babysitter got smart and told her that she will tell me about the men she has been seeing and that if she doesn't get to come to America with her...she will tell me.
I often speal to the babysitter through a friend of mine who is an interpreter, just to say hello and tell her how much I appreciated all the care and good meals she made for me. She tells me that my "Colombian" Wife still does not wear my ring that I believe was pawned within days of me leaving after Christmas.
The ring will turn up it is a custom ring and the jeweler will not be making another..and it is his original design.
The second call to my so called Colombian wife was around 9 pm their time and she was in what sounded to be a bar, some woman answered and spoke Spanish so quickly that I missed it and then hung up...a few minutes later I called and talk to her...
...suddenly two minutes into the call that she wanted, she has to call her mother when she told me earlier that she wanted to have a long sexy talk with me tonight...she told me she love me and to call back in a few minutes..
I said screw it and went to sleep. I am not playing any games. I call when I told her I would call and she can either talk to me or not.
NO bullshit lies...
I am just trying to hand on until after her 's birthday on 7 February because I promised to arrange a party for him and a friend of mine has with the aid of her Parents.
I still wish I had the money to go down there and catch her in the lies she has been weaving all this time to see her face so she knows I knew from the first few days she started going out behind my back and breaking promises.
..again she told me that a promise doesn't mean anything, what is important is how you feel later....logic escapes me on that one..and I don't know why she continues to have me make promise to her, when she made five theday I asked her to marry me and have since broken all five.
The friends that have seen her do this are independent of each other and don't know I know all of them. They have no "axe" to grind with her they just know I am a nice person and a good man that is being crapped on by one of their own.
Bad part is that I know this is going to initially why she is on the phone with me "crush" her because she will continue to deny everything and I will not use my friends names down there but I think she will know who they are.
After all the money she bleed me dry, she has not said another word about money until pitching "the idea" that the babysitter comes with her to America.
Continues to lead me to believe she hocked the ring because down there she could live off it paying her rent, babysitter and food for nearly a year. She is good holding on to her money and an expert at spending mine.
I am trying not to sound like a bitter or vengeful jerk as I updte the blog, I just hope that maybe some other person in a similar situation whether the woman is in America, south America, the Ukraine, Russia or wherever...they might learn from my expensive mistakes.
I wish I had a rich uncle but I don't, I am so hoping to find a couple thousand bucks to just go down for few days and stay in this out the way place, hire my detective and wait for her to screw up so I can call it off in person....and give her copies of the emails I sent to the INS Centers here that process VISA applications as well as the email to the US Embassy Visa Support in Bogota....
I would love to see her face when she finds out she will never com to America without someone spending a lot of cash to change a lot of minds.
She definitely isn't coming to America any time soon...I hope her probably married American boyfriend is reading this to...because he is off the hook...I am not paying for his little side action to come here...so now you gotta go there!
Time for you to spend some of your money instead of mine....ha, ha.
I tis funny ever since I put it in my blog that she told my firend about comitting fraud on the document to allow her to leave Colombia...there has little to be said about it other than she was beginning to fee she would get the permission...probably her way of building her way out of a sticky situation and saving a little honor...
All I have to say if her friends, or boyfriends found this blog...tell her to be a person and admit to the shit I know...we might have a chance..confession is good for the soul I hear...
As much as I want to believe differently, I just don't think liars and players, can change for any love intil late in thier lifes maybe when their looks and health are gone.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
The game continues- she is a liar but I still love her.
|
Posted:Feb 2, 2006 8:50 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
378 Views
|
Again, I have had no contact with her in two days.
I had a friend of mine help prepare a birthday party for her soon to be three year old soon. All items were delivered to her parents house because that is where the party will be..
I think she was mad because I wouldn't send themoney direct to her and I had a friend of mine do all the shopping with money I wired directly to her.
We got a pinata, balloons, cake, and ice cream as well as items to share with the other .
This is his first big birthday party. His Colombian father could care less about him and I think I fell in love with him as much as I did with her.
I speak limited Spanish and learning more but she spoke fair English, we could communicate when she would try.
Her even begins to speak English to me.
I understand she is writing another American and I wish that he would find this blog, because man you are just as big a sucker as I am...even worse because you expected me to pay to get her here so that she could run to you...
Well, I wrote letters to every Visa Center here in the US as well as the US Embassy warning them that she told my friend and that she intends to forge the signature of her ex-husband who by law must give permission for her to leave the country.
She may have the divorce I paid for, she may have the passports, birth certificate copies I paid for but she will now be forever stuck in Cartagena as my Visa Attorney has taken a statement from several people that she made statments that she was going to comit fraud to get here.
She is also messing around with a lawyer that she claims is her friend but it seems that each time she is with her friend her cell phone is off and I have it confirmed by someone else the she is away with someone else.
She is a liar and yet....I still love here. Stange how love is.
..and it wasn't because the sex was that great, I fell for her personality and what appears to be her whole sales pitch so to speak.
I don't know how a heart and appear so sincere and yet be so devious.
I know these activities not from one person but 5 and they do not know each other.
She thought I only knew 2 people in Colombia...I let her think that because I wanted to know how she would act.
Twice now she was seen my different friends who asked her where our engagement ring was and she said home in a drawer safe....I think she pawned it because it was a customer ring made in Colombia.
I have friends who are checking when they are in the neighborhood because they know the ring because it was one of a kind made by a friend of a friend who said he would not make another like it because he is not into mass producing the same style...he wants each to be unique like the couple.
She actually went into the store that I bought the ring from and the owner notice the ring because she wanted it cleaned and she said it needed fixed.
He knew the ring but said the man with her was very friendly and not like a family member friendly.
I still wish I could find a way to show up on her door by total surprise and catch her in the middle of all these lies to me and her parents.
I am not bitter or vengeful...I would just like to see it and get her to explain it....
Why would you say yes to marrying someone then screw it all up ?
Thanks for reading the rant....
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Sex, lies and relationships...
|
Posted:Feb 1, 2006 6:43 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
308 Views
|
Today, I spent the day planning a birthday party for her who will be 3 Tuesday.
I have some Friends in Cartagena, Colombia that helped me and I spoke with her father about providing a party for her .
I knew she didn't have any money (because I think mine ran out of mine).
Her never did anything to me and deserves to have a party. So I found safe way to get money to my friends that would make sure the party happens along with her parents.
Her parents were going to hold the gathering with other at their home. Now they will have all the normal things for a birthday party.
In a strange way I love her so much and her feels like my own. I couldn't bare the thought that he may not have a birthday party...
I wonder if I got played as a sucker on this one or not...but my heart feels like it was the right thing to do no matter what his mother has done...the boy deserves to know that someone cares about him since his Colombian father doesn't make an effort.
If she would just confess to what I know, things could be different...but I guess always in the back of my mind I would think is she doing it again...then I would become some controling jerk that just isn't me....
How do you give up something that you feel is the best thing in your life over what you know to be lies...
How can you look into somebody's eyes and see the future that looks so happy...yet know that what you see is not completely who she is.
Is it possible to accept the lies and deceit because you know how happy life is with her..and how hard life sucks without her...
Is it possible that life will change in America or does it just start again at some point...to be the same old lies...
Can she really start fresh, or do I end up changing to be a controling jerk to protect the love and relationship I here in her words that she wants...
What right, even in marriage does one person have to control the other person's life...isn't that slavery?
Life was simple before I found out how really great love with what could be the right person is and isn't....
We all make choices and we all forgive but where is the line that says this is not where you want to be....
Love changes us all but does that mean love makes us into a jerk that we can't live with ourselves...
How do you say good-bye to something that moves your soul...
I don't know...and I don't expect to find answers here...
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (rm_nosecrets56) use [blog rm_nosecrets56] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
|
1
|
2
|
32
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
