rm_nick_kirlos 41M
22 posts
7/1/2005 8:37 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


The best relationships, online or off, sexual or not, arise naturally out of common interests and spending time together. Not long ago, just being online and in IRC was enough of a common interest to forge bonds between chatters.

Now that everyone is online, it takes something more. Sex is an almost universal interest, so entering an adult chat room doesn't mean you'll find anyone who shares your particular tastes. But creating a character and having adventures in a Tolkeinesque environment sustained by the collective imagination of hundreds of players -- that's a complexity that weeds out all but the most dedicated.

Blogs may be the modern gathering place for like-minded individuals to find one another. Someone once told me that he has found cyber through his blog. "You can browse through a person's blog, get a taste (for who they are). There can be flirting through comments to entries, and then private messages that can get very hot," he says.

Are blogs the new chat? Maybe. Blogs and their comments definitely appeal to longtime netizens who miss the glory days of the BBS, and it is unlikely that participants come to a blog on a mission to find cybersex. As in games, cybersex emerges as relationships form.

The heart of good cybersex is story. Cybersex is more about co-creating an erotic experience than it is about masturbation. (Or pornography, for that matter. Pay to play is not cybersex, no matter what you -- or she -- are doing.) The chat rooms and message boards at erotica websites can be a mecca for cyber.

MistressKits 45F

7/1/2005 9:25 am

You bring up some very good points on the evolution of chat and online relationships. What exactly is the role of a blog? It began as an online sharing, pseudo-voyeurism of sorts of a private diary/ journal/ memoir. It was specific insight into the writer's life. Now a blog can be interactive- including the reader in the dialogue and allowing them to become part of the blog.

I do miss the "good old days" when the cyberworld was smaller and everyone with a cord didn't log on. But, just as the cream settles to the top in a jug of milk, so will the real online community find itself, it just takes time. There are many places available to find like-minded people- no matter what your like-mindedness is.

AdultFriendFinder is much like a bar, you're going to see / meet all types of people here. You won't answer everyone's advance, everyone won't answer your advance... but when there is a glimmer of likeness then there is hope.

What is the next step? I can't even imagine where we'll evolve from here.

Greetings from one old BBSer,

M. Kits

rm_nick_kirlos 41M
5 posts
7/1/2005 11:21 am

A businessman asked me a few weeks ago whether blogs were the next internet bubble; a fad in other words. I feel that blogs are a subtantive communications platform. At the very least, blogging is a trend, but certainly not a fad.

I can understand reluctance of some people to embrace something that might not have permanance. And, in light of the recent blog bashing, it's reasonable to conclude they aren't everything they've been hyped to be.

Established interests have always been discomforted by innovation and change. In the face of the Internet challenge, I suspect that many media chieftains would find comfort in the sentiments of a Michigan banker who, in 1903, opined that "the horse is here to stay, but the automobile is only a novelty ‒ a fad." Because, as the study of chaos informs us, complex systems generate unpredictable outcomes, "blogging" may, indeed, be a short-term phenomenon. But as long as the channels for the flow of information remain unrestricted, today’s blogs will likely evolve into more sophisticated, horizontal processes that allow individuals to freely communicate their understanding to one another, without the need for institutionalized oversight and control.

Blogging has now established itself as a mainstream communications medium. Roughly 50 million bloggers. More than 200 million blog readers. That’s more users than Linux, more than Apple, more than the iPod, more than most major religions, more than the number of day traders, firemen, lawyers and doctors.

Yes, blogs are mainstream.

And mainstream communications mediums don’t die out. They stagnate, or they evolve or they get replaced by something that does the same thing only better. Because the reality is that once people learn to connect in a new and meaningful way they are loathe to let go of it.

Each generation fears the succeeding generation's media, which I think also explains some of the panic about how much time people spend looking for or practicing cybersex. People worried when television began to replace radio. They moaned when radio began to replace reading aloud to each other. They probably rued the day reading replaced oral storytelling.

Now that the internet is replacing television, we are rediscovering our love of creating stories, not just watching them. Those who love to read and write find each other in text; those who prefer aural/verbal communication use headsets and microphones; and those who prefer video can connect through webcam. And the most common story we tell is sex.

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
7/1/2005 12:53 pm

i love it on here,we have a lovely community spirit and a little of everything for everyone

I'm a

i'm here to stay

playfulwithyou33 56F
961 posts
7/3/2005 10:38 am

Agrees with papyrina; you can peer into the thoughts that someone is willing to share and you can develop a camaraderie.

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