Part of the reason for the blog....  

rm_needsex382 51F
77 posts
10/24/2005 3:45 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Part of the reason for the blog....

I posted an advice question in the AdultFriendFinder magazine. A respondant asked me to start a blog to see how it turns out. Here's the question:
Propositioning a friend....
I have had this male friend for over 7 years and we have become
"buddies". We are both single parents and have
taken our children places together. He stops by my house
about once a week for a few beers. We talk and really enjoy
each others company. We drank too much one night and I showed
him AdultFriendFinder and my pics! (He doesn't own a computer) He couldn't
believe it was me in the pics! lol
Anyway, he made the comment recently that he had not had
sex in over two years! He has some female friends he stays
with at times, but they make him sleep on the couch! What
ho's! lol
I really value his friendship and would LOVE to show him
"my stuff" and sleep with him. I fantasize about
him frequently.
My question: How do I go about initiating the possibility
of having sex with him without making it wierd if he doesn't
want to? We are two single people amongst a circle of friends.
Is it even possible to have sex with a close buddy without
having a "relationship"? Or, should I just
drop the notion? Any advice from you would be greatly appreciated.

I will keep everyone posted as to how this turns out.
Thanks for reading!!!

"If I always do what I always did then I will always get what I always got...."

DrBuckWild 47M

10/25/2005 10:02 am

That is a good question. I had a girl that was a friend of mine through grade school and High school. We were friends for a good 8 years prior to us messing around. We did all the things that kids did growing up... Birthday parties, dances, played marbles, you know. Well, one night I invited her to one of my fraternity parties. We were both 19 and single. We both drank just enough to lose our inhibitions. I had always wanted her, and fantasized about it through puberty. Well, we finally just let loose, and to my distain... it was like kissing my sister. All things we did as kids came racing back and it was like... oh no!!! I stopped, she got confused, and it ended up being awkward. We didn't see eachother for about 10 years after that night. We talk now. She's married with kids and doing well, I am divorced with kids and functioning, but we are back to just chatting again. The nice thing about our friendship is, even though the time that separated us was due to an awkward moment, we were able to pick up where we left off with our friendship. Granted, we were kids and you all are in your 30's.

Sex with him is going to take the relationship to "another" level, even if it doesn't take it to a higher level. You two can talk about it until you are blue in the face, but once you have sex, the relationship will never be the same. Could it get better? Possibly. Could it get worse? Possibly. Will it change? Absolutely.

Can you have sex with just a buddy? It happens all the time. Every situation is different. Every friendship is at a different level. Only the two of you can know. The important question you may want to ask yourself is, "Can you live with it?" I would give that one party night back if I could get those ten empty years back.

I guess I can't give any advice, other than to talk about it with him and accept what you two can live with? The one thing you can count on is, the relationship will never be the same...Good, bad, or indifferent. I hope that this may have helped.

MadScientist1965 52M

10/27/2005 12:53 pm

Just tell him you decided after his comments about your pics on AdultFriendFinder that you needed some more and ask him to take them...after he has shot a few for you, give the the bedroom eyes look and let nature take its course.

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