adult fairy tales... ;)  

rm_naughty_jean 31F
15 posts
5/21/2005 2:41 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

adult fairy tales... ;)

*spoiler warning* these might ruin ur childhood
memries dont go on and read if ur so
attached to those fairy tales...

Adult Fairy Tales

CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her
wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits
crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears,
and promised to provide Cinderella with everything
she needs to go to the ball, but only on two
conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."
Cinderella agrees. "What's the second
condition?" "You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any
later, and your diaphragm will turn into a
pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00
a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and
Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m.
Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very
satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the
Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed
to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I met a
prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of
everything." The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know
of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his
name!" Cinderella replied, I can't remember,
exactly, Peter, Peter, something or other..."

PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would
sometimes complain about splinters when they
were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit
Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto
suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever
indicated and Pinocchio skipped away
enlightened. A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw
Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and
asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio
replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through
the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf
jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword
to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your
brains out!" To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly
reached into her picnic basket and pulled out
a ...44 magnum and pointed it at him and
said, "No, you're not. You're going to eat me, just
like it says in the book."

divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You
say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey
replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's
f***ing Goofy."

SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the
woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat
on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie
to me! Lie to me!"

Did you know...Captain Hook died from jock itch.

One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She
was very attracted to him and during her questions
about his life she asked him how he engaged to
have sex. "What's that?" he asked. She
explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I
use a hole in the trunk of a tree." Horrified, she
said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show
you how to do it properly." She took off her
clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her
legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and
then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane
rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to
gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?" "Just
checking for bees," said Tarzan.

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