He's really not that into you.....  

rm_n2uqt 44M/44F
146 posts
12/18/2005 5:55 am

Last Read:
11/22/2007 4:40 am

He's really not that into you.....


This is for the ladies, but men please feel free to add your comments. I have to say that sex can be mind blowing and we don't know how to give it up even when he's really not that into you. Have you ever caught yourself in this postion before? Have you kept giving up the goodies even though you knew that he wasn't that n-2-u?
Ladies, how far have you let it go on even though it's obvious that he only wants one thing from you. I'm mean yes, we do know how to please, but unless your only wanting one thing from him, how much do you let him take control. How far do you let him abuse your mental state of mind?
I know for myself that I have known of man wanting only one thing from me and yes, I have let it go on probably longer than it should. At one point in my life it was ok, I knew that I was working on my career and didn't have time to start this relationship thing. I just knew that the sex was good and that I was fine knowing there were no strings attached. But sooner or later, face it, we all catch feelings and it starts to bother you to a certain point. What do you do? It's been three years with this gentleman now and he still blows my mind. I have never had sex, like I have had when I'm with him. Now, I know I have caught feelings and I know he does not want more, I have told him but I have backed off. But the SEX, it's incredible, it would make your mouth water to watch us and say, damn, why can't I have sex like that, it's that great! We take each other to another level and it's just as great for him, he tells me this and he is still cumming back, year after year. So how long do you let it go on? I'm not sure, I'm addicted and still can't give it up!

What do you do?

MillsShipsGayly 51M

12/18/2005 7:21 am

Intimacy emotionally is so damn much harder than sex. the tangled webs we weave protecting ourselves from intimacy.

Great sex can pacify


Lonelywoman56 60F

12/18/2005 8:59 am

Its so damn complicated sometimes isn't it. I simply cannot have great sex untill I have known someone for awhile. Ah but there can be a mutual respect and honesty that I have found to be better then love. You and your friend know each others bodies and
how to touch each other. It seems like men start to get distracted and bored and women (this is just my perspective and can be all wrong for all I know) start to get more connected.
I dated a man for 5 years and kept seeing him for a year after,BIG MISTAKE, We were supposed to remain friends,I worshipped him when I broke off with him but coulnd't live with the headgames. Everything I knew and thought about him was a lie. I mean everything. It turned out he was a really BAD friend. He started to try to manipulate me into loving him again while sabotaging me in front of all our old friends behind my back.
To answer your question about how long should it go on, you will know inside your gut. Make sure you listen to your instints.
The guy who I "adored" turned out to be quite a headfucker. I'm Italian, I had told him many times to be fair, not to fuck with my head, he pushed to far. I pushed back,hard. I had told him not to underestimate me, he did, I destroyed him. All I wanted was to Not Be Lied To. I have an open mind, really. But.... Don't fuck with the head. Period. I dont know why that is so hard for some to understand.

Why am I going on about this. Because you said hes playing mind games with you, its emotional abuse. There are a thousand guys on this site that can satisfy you, and be happy to do it and not lie to you. Don't let anyone fuck with your head.
DONT.
The man youve been playing with, playing head games, bad news. Life is hard enough without someone intentionally fucking with your head. But are you sure he's playing head games or are you only hearing the part you want to hear? The great sex, beleave ME there is more out there,Be carefull you don't go to long, it doesnt get easier it gets harder. I feal your pain, good luck.


tmac8136 50M
12 posts
12/19/2005 6:09 am

Alright ladies. You know I have to play devil's advocate for those among us with penises. Namely men. I might get thrown out of the club, but I can say this with conviction. The way most men view the physical aspects of a relationship, is vastly different than woman. Men don't need a reason to have sex, they just need a place. Having said that. If you are in a relationship of convenience, it's easy to get confused about the commitment, because the sex, clouds your vision. In my experience sex is more emotional for women. Your vagina is an integral part of your body, hence your psyche. With us our penis is on the outside of our bodies, so there is an obvious disconnect. I hope I'm not confusing the subject. There is an obvious sexual chemistry, between you and this lucky guy that you can't ignore. I had the same kind of physical connection with my ex-wife, but ultimately it comes down to what value, does the sex play, vice your psychological health? In my case it was obvious. You will have to come to that crucible, in order to get over this person. It's almost like saying to an addict, the first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem. Your problem is, that this guy has invaded the no-zone. He knows it and he is exploiting that fact. Honestly you will never get over him, with the help of another man. You will have to bow up to his manipulations and find away to beat his advances, or the circle continues. More to follow


rm_n2uqt 44M/44F
34 posts
12/19/2005 2:07 pm

    Quoting MillsShipsGayly:
    Intimacy emotionally is so damn much harder than sex. the tangled webs we weave protecting ourselves from intimacy.

    Great sex can pacify
Michael IG65,
How correct your are sir! We sooner or later seem to weave a web that's so damn hard to get out of! It's true great sex can pacify, but I think that I need to wein myself from that security blanket....

Stay tuned to see if 2006 will be my year!

Merry Christmas


rm_n2uqt 44M/44F
34 posts
12/19/2005 2:14 pm

    Quoting ShayeDK:
    Yes, I've been guilty of this.
    It's been quite a few years tho..

    Not to say I wouldn't fall into it again, but I would hope I don't.
    It's hard for me to seperate my emotions from my sexuality.
    I have a habit of wanting to love the man I fuck.
    If not, then my attention wanes and I am off to find a man that I can feel more with, (emotionally)
I can feel you on this, there is such a difference of having sex or fucking and making love or getting emotional. The whole thing is, I have been able to in the last several years be able to seperate the two. Don't know how I do it, but I have learned very quickly, don't know if it's because I have worked with alot of men and hear the stories, complaints and desires or if I knew that I was not ready to take it to another level. This man I refer to has been with me emotionally, if you know what I mean. I'm not sure he wants to admit it or if he uses it as a tack to string me along but he has done things with me that he says I'm the only one that has made him feel, do or say the things he has done. You just know as a woman when he can be emotional too, but I think he felt himself getting that way and it made him shy away again. But like my momma said, it's better to have loved once than to never have loved at all....

Thanks for sharing, Im glad I'm not the only one...

Merry Christmas.


rm_n2uqt 44M/44F
34 posts
12/19/2005 2:29 pm

Lonelywoman 56,
I LIKE YOUR CHOICE OF WORDS,,, Headfucker is just so appropriate! You are a true Italian and I love your honesty. It sounds like you have been where I am going. I guess I have left out one detail I thougt I could hide, I meet him in a club and have seen him around town before I got up the courage to approach him, see he is a dancer, exotic dancer. Although he is not doing it as much now, it didn't bother me too much as I knew what I was getting into. We don't hang around the same crowd, so I didn't know what he was doing and he didn't know what I was doing, and it was working fine. I don't get jealous, I don't stock and yet after a while, we took each other to a whole nother level without even realizing it, I never expected it to go on this long sexually anyway and when it did, well, here we are today. I read your response and I have to say, you brought tears to my eyes, your so right, Don't fuck with my head! I like your thinking and I like your guts, but it's easier said than done. It's been some time since I have had someone make me feel this way, guess I just need to get back to my true roots of the cancer sign, hard on the outside and soft on the inside just like the crab, don't let them see you sweat!
Much love to you and thanks for putting me in check.

Merry Christmas


rm_n2uqt 44M/44F
34 posts
12/20/2005 4:34 pm

    Quoting tmac8136:
    Alright ladies. You know I have to play devil's advocate for those among us with penises. Namely men. I might get thrown out of the club, but I can say this with conviction. The way most men view the physical aspects of a relationship, is vastly different than woman. Men don't need a reason to have sex, they just need a place. Having said that. If you are in a relationship of convenience, it's easy to get confused about the commitment, because the sex, clouds your vision. In my experience sex is more emotional for women. Your vagina is an integral part of your body, hence your psyche. With us our penis is on the outside of our bodies, so there is an obvious disconnect. I hope I'm not confusing the subject. There is an obvious sexual chemistry, between you and this lucky guy that you can't ignore. I had the same kind of physical connection with my ex-wife, but ultimately it comes down to what value, does the sex play, vice your psychological health? In my case it was obvious. You will have to come to that crucible, in order to get over this person. It's almost like saying to an addict, the first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem. Your problem is, that this guy has invaded the no-zone. He knows it and he is exploiting that fact. Honestly you will never get over him, with the help of another man. You will have to bow up to his manipulations and find away to beat his advances, or the circle continues. More to follow
Oh sweet Tmac! Of course your the devils....advocate. I do have to agree with you on some things, men do not let the emotions rule the heart or mind and women, most women, tend to do this. It's part of our chemical structure. You know God did not create us equally, he realized his mistakes and then corrected them with woman! (wink) I do have to say this, that now a days, women don't need to have a reason for sex either, we have learned over the years to be able to run the home, have a career, take care of the kids, bring home the bacon and still be able to satisfy our men and drive eight kids to soccer practice. I'm not sure that I can agree fully that sex clouds our vision, I think that men honestly pull from our feelings when it comes to sex but yet they are better able to control those emotions. I myself do not have kids, but for women, I can only imagine that our emotions will run deeper because we are able to give life and to give life you need to have emotion, feelings and nurturing warmth, it's why God gave us the emotions, he knew we would be able to handle it better.
For me I have to say that sex plays a big role in ones relationship, or at least, that is how I feel. I don't want to marry a man or be involved with a man if he is not satisfied with me sexually, the mental will come with time. See we women need to remind ourselves that if we are not satisfiying our man, there are many more women standing in line that will. So, if your gonna do it you better do a damn good job. I will agree, it is an addiction and I have a problem, I love the sex. I know that I can get over him, I guess I just need to find the one that will help me get over him.
Thank you for always making me think and for playing the advocate.

And by the way, I'm the world's worst speller and I'm not sure that there is a spell check in this blogging system. So I will apolgize up front and for any future acts of illiteracy.


tmac8136 50M
12 posts
12/28/2005 9:41 am

N2QT,

Please don't worry about the spelling. Your post is thought provoking. Let me see I said more to follow. Well, I think you are misunderstanding a little of what I said. Sex for most men, I'm not generalizing here, is more physical, in my estimation than for women. Having said that. I huge part of me thinks that it's easy to be continually allured by someone that you can't have completely. No one is as good, after you get them, as they were when you wanted them. Again that's just in my general opinion. These rules, obviously don't apply to everyone. I think it would be a huge mistake for you to find someone to help you get over this person. You have to find yourself again, in order to leave the baggage from this relationship behind you. On the personal note for me I had to let go of my ex-wife before I could learn to give all of myself to another woman. The same thing applies here. What will happen is the next man that you have feelings for will be paying for this guy's mistakes? If there are any men out there who would offer a different view them I'm open for inputs. I think most of the men that respond to this will think initially is this guy crazy, or what? As sexxy and beautiful as you are, the nuances of relationships makes, even the most sexually satisfying relationships complex. My suspicion is that this guy is extremely attractive and does not have to interest you too much to get the goods. What I mean by that is I don't look like L.L. Cool J, I don't have his lips, his body or enough going for me in the looks department to get a woman to look at me in complete lust and not care if I like her, or not? You know what I mean. I have a brother that's just like that. He attracts the primal lust in women, without much provocation, but he sure does not maintain healthy relationships with them. 3 hrs a day in the gym will do wonders for your sex life . Well I hope I have not rambled to much on the soap box, but I thought I would respond to your obviously heartfelt response. By the way the men shall speak...


rm_lanre59 57M
22 posts
1/2/2006 4:25 am

Hey: very interesting vain of thought your question raises. Firstly: I think you have to admit that there is more going on in your relationship with this guy then you readily admit. It is my belief from what you have said that apart from the high physical attraction you both have for one other that there is a thing called "Physical love" going on. This is a recorded medical science term by Masters & Jonhson & Kinsey. I think you are both not being "truly honest" of you loving feels for each other out of the possibility of feeling vulnerable of how loving feeling makes you feel, and there is that to consider. I think that it is no mistake that you have great sex with this guy. Both of you are very fortunate to have found someone that you click with in a very intimate way, this doesnt happen often. You can go out there and find some fuck buddy, but does not provide that emotional connect that you have with this guy. Conversely: it may well be that you are putting stress on an already beautiful fulfilling relationship which you should be happy to let it flow naturally.


rm_lanre59 57M
22 posts
1/2/2006 4:33 am

Oh: and by the way you may eventually finish the relationship with him but you will never forget the emotional ties you created with him... Think very carefully before you decide to end it, as you may find yourself trying to recreate this relationship again and again without any success.


rm_lanre59 57M
22 posts
1/2/2006 4:50 am

I forgot to say: Im available too.


rm_n2uqt 44M/44F
34 posts
1/2/2006 6:42 am

    Quoting rm_lanre59:
    I forgot to say: Im available too.
Lanre59, very thought provoking you are in a cleaver way to sum up my thoughts exactly, "Physical Love", it's very cunning. I have to say, I agree with you whole heartedly, sounds like the word I have been wanting to use for a while now. It's true, we have the physical end coverd very deeply and it's true, I know I love this guy, but I know I'm not in love with him, because even after 3 yrs, we don't know each other completely, meaning other than out of the bedroom. So I appreciate your putting it to me in black and white. Your right, emotional connect is very strong, and I have, been "truely honest" to him, I believe he can not be honest with me. He knows it, he has stated it, I think he is so afraid of being involved or being hurt, not sure but he has also mentioned, I'm to good for him and that he would only hurt me. So maybe part of it is BS but I believe part of it is true, he knows he can't commit because he is not ready, so sparing my feelings to not hurt me, I respect. I would rather have a man be honest to me for all the right than to be with me and hurt me for all the wrong reasons. I respect it! And you are yet correct again, I have backed off not putting my feelings out there as to not stress him and just let it flow naturally. I still love the sex and would rather have it than not, so I just put my gard back up and let it flow. Thanks for the great and thought provoking notes, to bad your so far away!

Happy New Year


rm_lanre59 57M
22 posts
1/2/2006 5:50 pm

Ok: I hear what you say and reading between the lines of your response, there very well maybe another element, aspect that both of you differ on. I do not mean to sound like a pyschoanalyst and Im not, but it struck me that you are possibily at different stages of your emotional intelligences levels, you because I,ve heard you side of the relationship seem to score high on EI, whilst his EI may not be well developed. I think if that is the case then you have to be a little more circumspect with your feelings to allow his EI to come to the fore. In this way you dont swamp him with your well developed Emotional Intelligences. Dam shame your so far away, you sound like my kinda girl.


rm_lanre59 57M
22 posts
1/2/2006 5:51 pm

Oh: Happy New Year to you too


insolentone2 37M

1/3/2006 8:07 am

Well, let's put it this way.. I was this way with a girl for like 6 months.. Now we're getting married laster this year. 5 years later.


rm_n2uqt 44M/44F
34 posts
1/4/2006 3:56 pm

    Quoting insolentone2:
    Well, let's put it this way.. I was this way with a girl for like 6 months.. Now we're getting married laster this year. 5 years later.
Congrats you dirty little devil you....Happy Wishes for a fulfilling marriage. It's nice to see that there are those that can take that leap and make a commitment!

Best Wishes

Kisses QT


rm_n2uqt 44M/44F
34 posts
1/4/2006 3:59 pm

    Quoting rm_lanre59:
    Ok: I hear what you say and reading between the lines of your response, there very well maybe another element, aspect that both of you differ on. I do not mean to sound like a pyschoanalyst and Im not, but it struck me that you are possibily at different stages of your emotional intelligences levels, you because I,ve heard you side of the relationship seem to score high on EI, whilst his EI may not be well developed. I think if that is the case then you have to be a little more circumspect with your feelings to allow his EI to come to the fore. In this way you dont swamp him with your well developed Emotional Intelligences. Dam shame your so far away, you sound like my kinda girl.
I hear you lanre59, while god was handing out EI, he was in line for seconds on the players handbook!

Please send your bill and I will gladly try to return your payment.

Happy new Year and Kisses!
QT


rm_lanre59 57M
22 posts
1/5/2006 6:11 am

Hi n2nqt..... If your every in London it may worth looking me up.... Viz-viz if every Im in your neck of the woods I hope that you would welcome me with open ?????? oops heart. lol


rm_n2uqt 44M/44F
34 posts
1/7/2006 3:49 pm

    Quoting rm_lanre59:
    Hi n2nqt..... If your every in London it may worth looking me up.... Viz-viz if every Im in your neck of the woods I hope that you would welcome me with open ?????? oops heart. lol
Lanre59, your always welcome in the good ole US of A!!! It's just that souther hospitality of mine...


insolentone2 37M

1/10/2006 7:00 am

who said anything about a commitment? I'm just getting married


rm_lanre59 57M
22 posts
1/10/2006 10:41 am

Ooooooh: n2uqt.... I wanna cum right now. lol


rm_jaybaby2005 47M
8 posts
12/5/2006 12:15 pm

Actions are governed by intentions meaning that you're only gonna do what's in your heart to do. When he say come out of those panties nobody pull them dowm or give permission for them to come off but you.
You didn't say whether you made an effort to see if other men were better because your mind and intent is to feel what he is doing to you and only him so I don't see where you're confused or don't know when to let go....The question is, is do you actually want to be with someone else?


rm_jaybaby2005 47M
8 posts
12/5/2006 12:23 pm

I have to disagree that a man was playing headgames with you. You knew that he was capable of lying to you the first time he did it. You chose to keep forgiving and keep believing that something in you can make him change. Then you got mad and retaliated because at that time you realize that he was still the same and you became angry because and wanted to see something bad happen to him to satisfy your lust for being made the fool.......Keep it real with you babygirl.


rubonmejunkie 45F

12/14/2006 6:40 am

I truly understand what you are going thru. I love the man I am with. I can't believe the sex we have, it is the best I have ever had. He takes me to a level of ecstasy that I have never felt before. We have been together for awhile. I know that he enjoys the sex as much as I do. I know that he loves me but not like I love him. Every time I say that I am moving on I can't. I am addicted to him and his cock. He has a crack cock. One hit and you are addicted. So I will not even attempt to give advice but just comfort because I know how you feel.


rm_tryme7779 45M
7 posts
4/8/2007 3:58 am

His sex can pacify you but what you need is a good substitute to help you through the withdrawal symptoms. Another partner can give you pleasure while you disengage from him. Once you are disengaged from him you can choose to keep going or stop with the "rebound" man. I'd love to be your volunteer.

"Rebound" man


Cubanito120681 35M

1/17/2008 4:18 am

So it's jan 17, 2008...is this still going on?


Cubanito120681 35M

1/17/2008 4:25 am

Oh, and as far as what pic should you use, i think the one you have now is great that or a full facial shot. You know just to show another beautiful part of your physical.


rm_mangalho29 36M

5/13/2008 9:10 am

damn girl i've never saw such a fine ass like yours!god bless you baby,i would love to talk to you sometime.i am mangalho29,wich means i've got a cock to treat you right,i'm portuguese and black also,so anytime...anytime baby....kisses..that fine ass of yours


Nappyheadtrini 37M
13 posts
6/16/2008 4:18 pm

Babes you got one phat ass n i love it ..... got any sistas? damn i wish i cud sample u !!


vadom9970 48M
7 posts
6/26/2008 10:56 am

pm
[Add a comment]
[quote]
> down on all fours slut.
>
> she complied quickly and was rewarded for her effort with his cock- to the point of gagging her. struggling with the sudden intrusion, she tried pulling back but his hand held her head firmly in place. the drool ran along his hardened length, dripping from his soft fleshy sack below. she could feel the cold hard crop on her back, thighs and it run along her ass.
>
> 'now slut use your fingers to fuck your ass and make sure that wet cunt of yours holds that dildo in. let it drop and you will feel the sting of my crop on those swollen lips'
>
> touching the dildo that was lodged in her pussy, reassuring that it was still firmly in place her fingers entered her ass. she began a rhythm that matched the swing of his crop. in and out -he stung her flesh and fucked her mouth. on all fours -he offered her focus and freedom. looking up, her eyes clouded over more and more with each strike -with each stroke. her moans vibrated along his cock from the back of her throat, he himself was enjoying her service this evening.


rm_hungrydick20 37M
58 posts
7/21/2009 12:12 am

Great sex is hard to drop I say what has more good than bad great no string sex or a relationship with feeling involved if it aint broke don't fix it


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