A POCKETFUL OF GOLD  

rm_mzhunyhole 65F
60250 posts
6/11/2006 12:26 am

Last Read:
6/18/2006 8:29 pm

A POCKETFUL OF GOLD

In reality I have only been trying this dating stuff for about a year.I was always a one man woman,one of those stand by your man,no matter how many times he done ya wrong,kinda women.Sooo alot of this dating stuff is new to me.I hadn't dated in over 15 years.I'm still trying to sort the rules out..ya know what I mean?

And lordy..I know people cheat on each other,that ain't no frigging surprise to me.And I don't want ya all to think I'm talking bad about nobody here..I ain't..this is just some thoughts..I'm wondering about.That's ya alls business if ya do it..ya all got your own reasons.We don't walk in your shoes..Sure,it ain't our damn business..but I can wonder things about it and ask..can't I?

Soooo when I go out in the company of men and women,that for whatever reason they have,they will slip off that lil band of gold..and hide it..in their pocket.I've seen it with my own eyes.I don't say nothing to this male friend,that does it,all the time,but he does.

Now,I take this to mean he is gonna cheat.He has a plan.HMmmmmm...premeditation..that kinda makes it worse.Now if ya was going out for the night and ya woke up drunk in somebodies bed..I could see that.But,to outright plan it with a clear head to cheat on a good woman or a good man..I don't get that.

Then another thing I notice..when I'm out and about honky tonking..is that most guys don't give a shit if ya are wearing that band of gold or not.Hell,they don't even check.While this might be OK for a single guy,what the hell good does it do a married guy?Single girls ain't gonna give them the time of day....OOHHH..SHIT..I forgot..they took their bands of gold off,they got them there things stuffed deep in their pocket.The single girls don't know that they are married.DECEIT..Now that there's the way to start ya up a good decent,honest relationship..ain't it??

SOoooo let's see now..We got married males running around looking to get lucky in love and married ladies too.Then ya got the single ones looking too..Lordy..no wonder I ain't got a fucking chance in hell.Wait..don't anyone notice that permanent groove of untanned skin on the hand of the ring finger anymore??Reckon not.

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out??

Would ya all date a married person??

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know??

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married??

Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this?


When someone comes along,gonna give ya some love and affection,I say..Get it while ya can.


lovemetouchme5 51F
2102 posts
6/11/2006 12:36 am

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out?? I don't go out that often, and No I never took my rings off before I go

Would ya all date a married person?? I have dated married men. I thought it would be easier and less complicated then a single guy. Now, with what's been happening in my life, I think I'd perfer someone single.

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know?? I can't say I ever recall a time when I've waken up next to someone I didn't know.

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married?? My partners have all told me that they were married before anything got started.

Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this? We did have an open marriage, but it backfired. I don't think we did it the right way. If I ever get married again, I'm going to make sure that if it's going to be an open marriage, we will set some ground rules a head of time!


TorsoTampsPupal 52M
10 posts
6/11/2006 1:29 am

When I was married, I didn't step out w/o permission from my wife, so I guess I'm answering the first and last questions here. I did take my ring off at work after hearing a couple of stories about men getting drug into machinery by their wedding bands! And toward the end of my marriage it no longer fit(and I couldn't afford resizing at the time), so I hung it in the bathroom. my exwife took it when she left, claiming she thought I didn't want it since I didn't wear it. That must have been why I hung it on my dogtags: 'cause it wasn't important to me!
Anyway I don't know if I'd be with someone married or not. I should rephrase that to I don't know if I'd knowingly be with someone cheating or not. I love sex with couples.
Sadly, no to the waking up thing. The concept of an anonymous sexual encounter with everyone so exhausted we fall asleep and pick up where we left off on awakening truly appeals!
Now that you mention it, yes I have fallen for a married lady. I found out she was married when I asked her to marry me. She hadn't seen her husband in seven years at the time, and just hadn't gotten around to a divorce. We spent two and a half years together and remained friends until she died 2 or 3 years ago. I'm not sure if she ever got her divorce. I hope she did because I do know that due to his abusiveness she intended to do so before her health got too bad.
I did have an open marriage, then an open engagement, then a monogamous engagement, and am now enjoying an open special friends with benefits arrangement with my most recent former fiance'. I hope that answers your questions or at least gives you something to think about such as "Wow!! The people on here are weirder than I thought!!!" I'd love to take a trip down that driveway of yours someday, mzhunyhole! You sound like a very down to earth lady who would be a pleasure to know (or did I mean a pleasure to pleasure ).


rm_smosmof2 67M
3240 posts
6/11/2006 1:40 am

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out??

I have never worn a ring.. can't wear rings or wristwatches... but i have always been very up front with anyone I was seeing about my status.. Back when I was married, it generally wasn't an issue.. she was the visible one, and I was the accompaniement, so we were well know among our sub-culture, but as a couple. Anyone who met me immediately knew who I was and that I was married...

Would ya all date a married person??

I have done so. I knew that she was married to a bipolar person, and needed saving...

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know??

Never

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married??

Yes, 20+ years ago, met a woman and seduced her under the light of an eclipsing moon. found out later that she was married, but that husband was not involved in fandom at all

Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this?

We did, and were truthful.. I suppose that was my doing, since I believe that sooner or later, everyone is unfaithful, and we might as well be honest about it.. dishonesty is the main cause of problems
Her policy was "you can borrow him as long as he's returned in the same condition"....


redrobin012057 59F

6/11/2006 1:43 am

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out?? I haven't worn my wedding ring for years,it is suppose to symbolise a never ending circle of happiness.cough -choke - splutter

Would ya all date a married person??Heck no!!!

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know?? No

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married??No

Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this? He knows,he doesn't worry, I have friends on here that are more communicative than he is


rm_ByNaomi 35F
1261 posts
6/11/2006 2:05 am

Now this broadens the search a bit doesn't it..? Hmm.....

Going to give this a serious thought and come back later.

I like this post.

© ByNaomi MyMirrorWithin 05'-08'


Hydragenias 56F

6/11/2006 2:20 am

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out?? I'm currently not married. I was married for 15 yrs and even though I was tempted a couple times, I NEVER did that!

Would ya all date a married person?? I have in the past, but I would never ever do it again!

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know?? no, Never!

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married?? Yes and that REALLY sucks! I hate deceit!

Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this? I don't think I'm "wired" to ever be able to have an "open marriage".


goodatpoetry2 66M
12386 posts
6/11/2006 2:41 am

I've never cheated on my ex. Should have, but didn't.
Actually, a married woman MIGHT be perfect for me right now. I have SO little time to spend with anyone and I really don't want too much of an involvement with anyone, for that reason.
But I would probably feel bad, so I guess that's out, too.


PurplePeach72 44F  
9199 posts
6/11/2006 3:06 am

Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this?
I'm gonna go backwards here b/c that will make more sense. My hubby and I do have an open marriage. We didn't start out that way, it has evolved over the 5 years of our marriage. We each see people, have sex or relationships with other people. We are swingers and do full swap, same room, different rooms, or different places. We are both bi and have had experiences with and without each other present. Well actually I'm still working on having my first girl on girl without a guy there, but it will happen eventually...lol
Each of us meets the other players and has full knowledge of the arrangements, and we all have full disclosure. We make an effort to not play with anyone cheating but have to concede that the ultimate responcibility for fidelity is with the married person and not us. Most of our playmates are either married couples or singles, not anyone cheating but there have been a few exceptions. At present, we have a married couple that we see fairly regularly, and they are great. I have a BF, that is a single straight guy, and a GF that is bi and married but we only play with each other. Steve has a couple of ladies he's sees on an irregular basis, and a bi-friend who joins one or both of us on occasion. He's still looking for that regular GF thing that I have found so easily. It's much easier for me to find solo playmates than it is for him and I try to help anyway I can.

As for the other questions,
Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out??
I do not take off my wedding ring when I go out to play. I make no bones about being married and will have Steve talk to and meet someone if need be. He does the same.

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married??
Would ya all date a married person??

We have both dated or slept with married people at some point. I fell for a married man when I was single. It wasn't fun. I have been the cheater and the cheated on and try hard not to put myself back in that position.

Have I ever woken up in bed with someone I didnt' know?
Well I've had a few one nights stands in my life but most turned into longer relationships while I was dating and if not I rarely stayed the night. When I was single, I refused to feel guilty for sleeping with whom ever I wanted, when I wanted, so to be honest, I probably did. Not proud of it but honest.

As always, great post Mz Honey.
{=}LeeAnn


Kisses,
LA


rm_KirkVW44m 54M
688 posts
6/11/2006 3:09 am

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out??

No my ring hasn't been off my finger for even a day in nearly 18 years.

Would ya all date a married person??

Prior to me getting married years ago i had sex with several married ladies. But on all occasions it was to there indulgence and it was them that basically said come here and fuck me now.

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know??

NO

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married??

NO... I've not per say fallen in love with somebody i didn't know at all.

Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this?

I'm much more open about the truth in all things than my spouse regretfully so i say no


ilsuconu 56M

6/11/2006 3:43 am

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out??
Nope... don't wear one; being single and all, don't need one!

Would ya all date a married person??
It would depend on the circumstances... married but separated, divorce pending... yeah, if the chemistry was right between us. Married and just looking for a fuck-buddy... no.

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know??
Nope! Never went to bed with someone I didn't know!

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married??
Yes... it took her a long while to let me in on her secret, then when she did, all her convenient reasons for never being able to spend a night or a week-end with me suddenly seemed like a bunch of lies... it was difficult to trust her after that, and we eventually stopped seeing each other.

Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this?
Not even when I was married...

Sure, I flirt here in the blogs, but most of us do... it's a way to feel connected without exposing ourselves to a real hurt if things don't click. And, it's a way to get to know someone and get comfortable with someone before meeting. In the final analysis, I'm a one woman kind of guy.


cuteNEway 41F

6/11/2006 3:49 am

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out??
OK I'm not married but y'all need a single gals view on this

Would ya all date a married person??
I have but it was an open marriage. I wouldn't again unless the man is an open marriage.

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know??
Nope. Never been THAT drunk. Or if I was THAT drunk I was WAAAYYY to sloppy for some dude to want to take advantage

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married??
Oh yeah. I was having one of those lovely long distance online affairs where you feel that deep connection and you want to tell the world you're in love...4 months later (thankfully before we ever met) he tells me that he's still married. Oh and he also gave me the "but I'm getting divorced" line. He said that he never told me because he was afraid I wouldn't talk to him. He lied because he LIKED me

Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this?
There are days that I think that I would love an open marriage because from what I've seen, the human animal was not built for monogamy but then the ugly green eyed monster boils up at the thought of my man with someone else. It's like you're not enough for your partner and that makes you feel like there is something wrong or missing in YOU


demonicsexkitten 41F
10671 posts
6/11/2006 4:07 am

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out??
I'm single. But nope: i leave my rings on. Mom yelled at me years ago, "S... no decent man will ask you out if he sees a ring on your finger!!! he'll think you're married or engaged!" I still wear rings though.

Would ya all date a married person??
Um... I guess I have to say yes. Because I'm kinda seeing 2 of them at the moment.

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know??
Nope. I did go to bed with somebody I had met the same day, but we spend hours and hours together first, and neither of us were drunk. Though I was also a virgin at the time, and remained so. Though that was my first experience receiving oral sex... and a "things to do and be aware of before your wedding night" lecture. He ended up writing me a 3 page declaration of love and intention for a serious relationship after that. But was too shy to mail it to me, despite I'd written him first. By the time he presented it to me in person, I had a b/f.

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married??
Nope. But if they did: i'd be thoroughly pissed, and would tell them. Actually I went off on a guy here on AdultFriendFinder for saying in one place he's single, and another he's married. 'False advertisement'. He apologized and fixed it.

Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this?
Never been married. And I can't really see myself doing that. Bcuz... I'm a jealous person. I don't share my toys. And even if my husband gave me permission, I would feel guilty if things weren't "equal". Though I was recently informed that I probably will NEED 5 hubbies to keep up with and satisfy me.


shylena256 42F
1967 posts
6/11/2006 4:29 am

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know??

Yes... it was the man I married, 7 years later.
Unfortunate but true.


JazzDlight 59F

6/11/2006 4:35 am

I have a married friend I met on this site last year and we are still very close and friends. At first when he contacted me I refused to meet him but he wore me down. He is very unhappy in his marriage but has three children which he loves dearly. Everything he does is for them. But his marriage/relationship with his wife has not turned out like he expected it would and they fight all the time. I think he just needed someone to talk to and we have become great friends. We meet for lunch, talk on the phone and on the computer. He is very dear to me and I just adore him and he me and we are friends nothing more. But if he ever decides to leave and get a divorce, oh man he better watch out and he told me the same thing. We are just so compatible it is fucking scary as hell. But until the day happens, if it ever happesn, we will be just friends. Hugs to you dear Mz. Huny...Jazz


oldude1946 70M

6/11/2006 5:00 am

I have a rule: Never date a married woman or a woman that has a boyfriend.

Reason: I wouldn't want some guy to do it to me and I wont do it to them.


libgemOH 56M/52F

6/11/2006 5:34 am

Really good post and great questions...

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out?? Don't wear em!!
Would ya all date a married person?? Only if he or she was in an open and honest marriage. Otherwise, too much drama for me!!
Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know?? Ummmmm, do I need to answer this one?? Many years ago but not sunce I stopped drinking!
Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married?? Had one man I talked to before I met Jim. He never revealed it but his lady found my phone number on his caller ID and revealed it for him. (what a dummass he was!!)
Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this? We do have an open relationship with some ground rules. We tell each other EVERYTHING and keep no secrets!

Before I met Jim, there was one man I saw on and off for several years. He was the one I cheated with at the end of my last marriage and on and off during a really bad relationship I was stuck in. When I cheated in the past, either by going out on someone or by being with someone who's spouse doesn't know (helping them cheat) I just can't look myself in the mirror. I know I've done wrong and I HATE the feeling. I stay away from it now!! -B


HBowt2 58F

6/11/2006 5:56 am

never wore a ring.....


ilsgicemru 71M
2822 posts
6/11/2006 6:11 am


..................... MzzHuny

Good post .. And good responses !! .. You have "stirred up some stuff" with this one !!

....................... G


rm_balls4u57 59M
125 posts
6/11/2006 6:16 am

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out?? I haven't gone out in many many years.

Would ya all date a married person?? I would only for non-committal sex!!!

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know?? No

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married?? Never had the opportunity

Do ya all have an open marriage??..Nope - got divorced instead. Retrospective - wish I had open marriage - maybe it might have better. I may have been able to have more ass than a toilet seat. Who knows!!.

My experience was -20 odd years ago was that when that ring came on to finger -- I was asked out by single ladies at work who had not even bothered to talk to me before. So I guess for me the ring worked the opposite way - attracted more women to me.


ilsgicemru 71M
2822 posts
6/11/2006 6:16 am


.................... MzzHuny

Good post .. And good responses !! .. You have "stirred up some stuff" with this one !!

..................... G


puntachueca 105M

6/11/2006 6:23 am

I was married for a long time, and never took the ring off. Never was into chasing other women...I had enough to deal with with one. Was really kind of a sad moment when I fnally did take it off (actually had to have it sawed because my knuckle had grown). Hadn't dated since 1975...and barely getting into this again...really kind of frightening actually. This cyberworld is interesting as it avoids a lot of issues in a face-to-face environment. Like "what the hell am I going to do next?"

I can whine a lot about not having a date for the weekend...but truth is...I don't think I could handle it yet.


free2chose2 66F

6/11/2006 6:25 am

As to #1 MzHuny-I'm not married,#2 have date married men-don't plan on it again(their time is limited)Oops forgot the next two questions-but think one relates to being married again and I'm single/divorced

Don't worry, be Happy


moonfire2u 69F
2602 posts
6/11/2006 6:32 am

I have dated married men...because I had been in an unhappy marriage for a lot of years...I understand how you can feel trapped and unable to leave...

Answer would I want an open marriage...if I made a commitment to someone absolutely not...I am a one man woman...and I would want a one woman man...

Thanks for the post...I enjoy reading everyones comments...I'm always learning...

kind thoughts,
Moonfire


rm_DarknStar 54F
2823 posts
6/11/2006 6:51 am

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out?? HELL NO....I keep my rings ON.....I have never lied about me having papers, saying I belong to someone else!

Would ya all date a married person?? No...I hate dating married men, let alone fucking them. Im looking for something, so I try and only date single men. I have my own problems, I dont need someone elses......I would hate to have a BITCH in my face!

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know?? NOPE....I have always woke up, with someone I knew!! No Regrets of a drunken night for ME!

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married?? I have never ran into that problem YET!..Thank God!

Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this? FUCK NO Sorry my man does NOT know Im dating, outside the marriage. Everybody has there own little story. and WELL I have mine......Please walk in my shoes for the last 13 years, you would understand WHY!


ArgosPlumyKooky 45F
3902 posts
6/11/2006 6:53 am

tough one. i would never want to be hurt in my own marriage (lol if i EVER get one) so i surely would not want to do that to another woman. if it was an open marriage i guess maybe. but that still makes me uncomfortable. it feels weird. i have never awoken to the unknown, lol! good morning


imLadyBambi 58M/50F

6/11/2006 7:18 am

mzhuny,

No,I don't think that I would date a married man especially if I was married.

And by surprise,(due to the fact I use to be a heavy partier)I have not ended up in a stranger's bed.

Lady Bambi


somethingelse40 74M
14676 posts
6/11/2006 7:22 am

Why should I be reasonable if it prevents me from being sensible?


crazygurl2xx 56F

6/11/2006 7:23 am

whenever i went out prowling, brazen hussy that i am, i never took off my wedding ring. we had an open marriage until it all had to end.
THEN i took off my ring for good.

i really don't mess with married people because far too many of them don't tell their spouse or have permission and i so do not care for deceit. i would do married IF they had an agreement and were open about it. no liars for me no matter what the reason. i don't like lies and liars. if you have to lie, you need to change your life.


somethingelse40 74M
14676 posts
6/11/2006 7:24 am

Just when I nearly had the answer, I forgot the question.


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
6/11/2006 7:28 am

"Now,I take this to mean he is gonna cheat.He has a plan.HMmmmmm...premeditation..that kinda makes it worse.Now if ya was going out for the night and ya woke up drunk in somebodies bed..I could see that.But,to outright plan it with a clear head to cheat on a good woman or a good man..I don't get that."

You are assuming that there's a good man or woman at home.

As for planning it as opposed to being stumbling down drunk and fucking someone ... I'd go with a plan every time. Drinking or being drunk is no excuse for anything.


Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


pillowtalk4Uonly 58F
292 posts
6/11/2006 8:25 am

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out??

Actually I'm Single right now, but I Do wear a gold band on my left hand to help "Keep the Wolves Away"...Then if I meet somebody special I explain why I wear the ring.

Would ya all date a married person??

As anyone who has been to my Blog knows ... I have shed thousands of tears due to the affair I recently had with a Married man. So I'll pass on doing that again ... Too much heartbreak for me.

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know??

NO ... that would scare the hell out of me!

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married??

Yes: That last Guy said on his AdultFriendFinder Profile he was Separated...
* Guys please be honest right up front and spare us the Games.


~ pillowtalk ~


ohsodelicious 57F
1922 posts
6/11/2006 8:40 am

huby...No matter...how you look at it...the 'vow's have been spoken...I figure if there is an understanding!?! between partners...then so be it...otherwise...No Way!! I would never step out on my man!

Hugs...OhSo{=}


POPPA_T_ 48M

6/11/2006 9:27 am

im single never married no ring here.yes ive dated married woman before.always knew who i was in bed with.i fell in love with a married lady.i knew she had hubsand when we hooked up.it was suppose be sex only nothing more.it ended very bad i wasnt the only she went out with.open marriage here wouldnt be for me i dont think never know,lol.


RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
6/11/2006 9:35 am

1. Never take my rings off. I'm very open about hte fact thant I'm married. Gee ever any doubt?

2. Yes I would date a married person. Carol would not. As a couple we don't date married singles. Obviously I still have canine tendencies.

3. Yes I have woke up next to someone I really didn't know. I knew how they got there, but really did think their name was Darlin'.

4. Fall for someone and find out they were married? No, but wouldn't have cared.

5. Open marriage? Let's see, Carol can play solo if she wishes but doesn't want to. I do not have that freedom but don't want nor need it. We play together as a couple only. It's the way we like it. We discuss everything we do in the lifestyle. That' the way it works for us. Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."


rm_Kissmystuff 61F
1435 posts
6/11/2006 9:40 am

Never cheated when I was married. He did though. When we were divorced..I did fall for a married man..but I didn't know. When I found out..I broke it off.

Would I date a married man now? Yes..with the knowledge of his wife. In other words if he had an open marriage.

No..I've never woken up in bed with someone I didn't know. I have to know and like someone before I let them close to me.

Some day..I will get married again. I would want an open marriage. I may never act on it from my end..but feel it would be important to know the freedom is there.

Kiss

Kiss


TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
6/11/2006 9:45 am

I had to read every comment on this before my own. How do you do it Mz. Huny, read every comment and still visit and comment on other people's Blogs?? You are Wonderwoman, no doubt.
So these are my answers...and there's history behind them"

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out??
I am in the middle of a divorce now, so I have taken off my ring. I took off my ring before my husband moved out. It was more like a symbol to me...that I didn't feel married. I believe a ring symbolizes a bond between two people...and that bond was gone for me.
I never took off my ring to lie to people, it was more a personal thing.

Would ya all date a married person??
Before my split, yes, I was with married men. I wanted a man in the same situation as me. Someone with whom I knew the reasons why he was going outside the marriage. I was honest too, that I was married.
Before my split, I met a married man. Still see him occassionally. I really like him, but have no expectations about the future...but we do connect.
Now that I am getting divorced, I am not interested in dating a married man. Too complicated, and I'm tired of sneaking around.

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know??
Nope, never.

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married??
No, never. The two men I fell in love with before, I knew they were married. Everyone was honest, thankfully.

Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this?
Never had one. I read with interest about couples who do though. Could I ever do it? I don't know. I suppose I am traditional in that way...but I like to say "never say never".


JaniSux 44F

6/11/2006 10:28 am

Wow!

I used to chat with this guy, we had phone sex sooo much that he had my number, which is a HUGE deal with me, I never give out my number, I call them, this way it's safer for me.

Soo he and I would have phone sex on a regular and he could make me cum like no other.. one time I came a record 13 times within the course of 2 calls with him in one day.. He was sooo hot!

Then 1am, I'm just drifting off to sleep and my phone rings, the caller ID says its him.. I answer and there's some chick there.. bitching and moaning and complaining and asking me why her HUSBAND has my number in his cell.. I was soooo pissed at him!

We had never met and I may have never met him but shit, tell me!

He later tried to explain it away, saying that he'd left his cell somewhere and that was an ex-gfrnd fucking with him, but fuck that, don't involve me in that shit! I changed my number within a week of her call.

Janie


bella_ 47F
4030 posts
6/11/2006 10:47 am

I have no wedding band therefore I am safe to date. I unknowingly dated a married man for a short time until I found out. Even though a man may be in an open marriage I would not be comfortable with a man that has ties with another woman...just me like this.


lightswitch1963 68M/53F

6/11/2006 10:49 am

Open here, " Do into others as you would do unto you "...Our biggest problem is------- single men who say they are a couple...and Married men that say (couple) but the wife has no idea they are on AdultFriendFinder. some time it takes a couple weeks to weed them out..One Guy was a die heart, never said his wife didn't know..For one month we web cam and She was in bed, gone to the store, at work, outside, went swimming, you name it he had a story......WE weedED HIM OUT!!!!!!!good blog MzHony
We leave the light on for you........
Mrs l will have plenty to say to this blog...


lightswitch1963 68M/53F

6/11/2006 10:56 am

Well fuck. I don't use spell ck and it would not fix that mistake.
"Do into others as you would have them do into you"


rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
6/11/2006 11:02 am

we are in an open marriage and both of us stopped wearing rings quite some time ago ... i am not moralistic about married men, but the married men i saw when i first came here were totally unsatisfactory as lovers and they wanted a quick wam-bam then home to the wife ... that was not for me, so i don't see married men anymore.

i have never woken up in bed with someone i did not know...



[blog freelove999]


MOfunNOWWOW 55F

6/11/2006 11:12 am

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out??
Not married
Would ya all date a married person??
No, bad experience but I aint judging nobody casue I don't want know judge
Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know??
yup
Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married??
nope
Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this?
see number 1 lol

Kisses


MOMO
just a squirrel trying to get a nut


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
6/11/2006 11:17 am

I took great interest in this since the man I have been dating for the past six months is married.

He was honest from the beginning. I have attracted married men for several years now. My reasoning for dating married men WAS this:

I was not looking for a relationship. It was safer for my heart to date someone I could not have completely.

With that said, you might ask, why are you seeing a married man now that you are madly in love with?

My honey has been unhappy for years. He stayed for the kids. She was very neglectful of their relationship and didn't do much to try to keep the spark alive. Love and faith is like a plant. Once its created, it needs nurtured and loved. It needs care and the gentle touch of the love of the one taking care of ut. His love in his marriage was neglected and his faith and love had died. He was on his way to pushing everyone out of his life. His marriage was destined to end up where it did. Then one day he created a profile on this site and found me. He sent a wink and I responded with a "thank you" email. We started emailing each other, and eventually met.

We met with the agreement that we were not going to fall in love. We were just going to be with each other for the sex. After all that is what I was looking for. He was not getting any from her. Hell he was barely getting a "Hello, or fuck you" from her.

The first week we met, we met three times. I even left a hickey on his neck. {I didn't realize I did it}. She never ever noticed it. Eventually, we started meeting more and more, and eventually he was coming to my house every day. Even though he and I had some passionate times, we didn't have sex in the beginning. The foundation to our relationship was beginning to be laid. I fell in love and told him I was in love with him. He told me he was in love with me too. It was not long after that he left her. He told her everything.

They say the woman always knows. She had not even a clue. Fuck! She didn't even see the hickey! He never had to explain anything, because she never asked. Her loss my gain.

To answer your questions:

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out?? Not applicable

Would ya all date a married person?? Not anymore. I have not reason to look for anything anymore. I have the best.

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know??

Never

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married?? Yes

Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this? Not applicable

Bottom line is ladies and gentlemen, if you want to keep the one you love you MUST keep the marriage or relationship a live. Your significant other is only human. Keep the communication alive. Never let that spark die. If you no longer have the desire for intimacy, but your other half does, go to the doc and see what can be done about it. If you cut them off, they WILL stray.

In my opinion if a person strays from a relationship, most of the time, it's because they are looking for something they are not getting at home.

DustStormDiva


Nightguy_1961 55M
4866 posts
6/11/2006 11:24 am

I keep my ring on....if they don't like it, I really don't care.

I am who I am...nothing more, nothing less...

NG61...slipping back into the shadows...


BowelLikesSaint 56M
142 posts
6/11/2006 11:30 am

MzHuny, I am not presently married. My special lady and I are open and upfront with eachother. We discuss our intentions and interests. Presently, no interests in others involved. In my marrage I am recently out of, you are aware what happened so I won't go into any explainations. She wasn't the cause or reason for me leaving! As for you. You are a wonderful lady with a wonderful personality. I like your pics very much. You won't have a problem with the dating scene! You post questions that really make you think!


OboesHonedIambs 62F

6/11/2006 11:35 am

I'm in an open marriage and until it was opened, I wouldn't have dreamed of cheating on my DH. Some things are just a matter of self respect and that's one of them. Honesty in our marriage is important, even when we hear things we don't want to hear (like, the truth), but it keeps us together too.

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee


spacecadet561 59M

6/11/2006 12:16 pm

My wedding band was the victim of a home repair accident many years ago. I was lucky I didn’t lose the finger it was on, so haven’t bothered to get it fixed. The marriage has since been the victim of a variety of things that make me wonder why it hasn’t officially ended yet.

I’ve been exploring the dark side of the Internet for several years now, and AdultFriendFinder for a few months. Some of the cyber frolics have been with married people. Aside from wondering what I got into when I got married, I’ve not woken up in bed with someone I didn’t know.

SpaceCadetù


hotandhorny107 58F

6/11/2006 1:04 pm

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out??
See Below.....

Would ya all date a married person??
I have and it was intentional, years ago and recently as well. I don't have a problem with it as long as he is not from my area. He should be able to take me out and show me a good time in and out of bed. And I could care less how bad his marriage is, or that he can't get any at home. I have heard more than enough of that crap. I believe most of it is just an excuse for cheating on someone.

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know??
Yep... revenge on someone else, and as I recall, it was not even good.

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married??
Yep.
Told me they were divorced and then the truth came out. Reminded me never to trust a man...

Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this?

Only technically married, but if I were married, I would not be here..


m1903a3 59M

6/11/2006 1:29 pm

I never take the ring off.
Even though my situation was special, and Kitty encouraged me to get what I needed when she could not provide it, I found the guilty feelings overwhelming, and I was unable to continue.
I have ALLWAYS made it clear that my heart belongs to her only.
I'm not going to judge anyone, but I gotta' ask guys, if you like the single life so much, then why did you get married?


marywannado 43F

6/11/2006 1:43 pm

I would never mess with a married man,, or anyone else for that matter...


TTigerAtty 62M

6/11/2006 1:48 pm

Premeditated cheating ... MzHuny, maybe we ought to put fluorescent tattoos on the inner thighs of married folks!?

"NOTICE: I am married. If you can see this, I am screwing around on my wife/husband. Go no further if this represents a moral problem for you."


lightswitch1963 68M/53F

6/11/2006 2:10 pm

I went to a club in Oklahoma City. I met this great guy, and got a phone number for him. We talked on the phone a couple of times. I got up to go to work one morning, and the phone rang. I thought it would be him confirming our second date (had sex planned for this one), it was his WIFE. I told her she had the wrong girl, I don't date married men. Married, w/2 sons. After I said how sorry I was, I called him, he said he forgot he was married woth 2 sons. My ring stays ON!!! We sort of have an open relationship since we are on here to swap. But, we get more out of blogland than anything else. Found stud, and are talking to a few couples.


Ta2dPisces 44M/38F
435 posts
6/11/2006 2:41 pm

Yes, Im married, very happily. Yes we have an open relationship. Its weird, he's ok with my playing, he doesnt play at all, his choice. He was my first, married when I was 19, he didnt want me to get older, and wonder about sexual experiences I coulda had. So he said he was cool with me doing this as long as Im safe. No, I do not and will not take off my wedding band. Only time I did cause I had to, was pregnant and damn fingers were too fat. LOL Nah i wouldnt date a married man, I dont like sneaky people.

Formerly Kypris_GuardDog, AdultFriendFinder Ate Me, & I Didn't Like It!!


normalornaught 34M

6/11/2006 2:54 pm

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out?? Never, I prefer honesty, if a woman wants to sleep with me she will know I am married before we ever go beyond hello.

Would ya all date a married person??This is a difficult question, I kind of figure each person has a situation all thier own. But at the same time I don't need the drama that goes with a jealous husband. So I guess I would consider it based on her situation.

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know?? No, I can't say that I have.

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married?? When I was single I had met a girl in a bar, we talked, drank, eventually kissed and then a wife of a friend who was there said did you see she is married and has a ring on. I asked and she said yes she was, just looking for some fun. I talked to her for awhile then was on my way.

Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this? We do have an open marriage, we have some rules, mainly always honest, second if one doesn't feel comfortable it goes no further. Kind of a long story.


LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
6/11/2006 3:02 pm

    Quoting Nightguy_1961:
    I keep my ring on....if they don't like it, I really don't care.

    I am who I am...nothing more, nothing less...

    NG61...slipping back into the shadows...
Same here MzHuny...but I think you knew that about me...


warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
6/11/2006 3:32 pm

I never wear jewellery of any sort and I'm intrigued by all the responses, although unsurprised. This friendly site has people of all types, with all sorts of stories to tell. It's very easy to be simplistic with matters of the heart and life has a habit of getting in the way of all the best laid plans.........

My, you do have a way of getting us thinking here, MzHuny. Like a professor of the University of Life.

warm xx


tiyannah 47T

6/11/2006 3:51 pm

WELL ALLOT OF PEOPLE IS NOT GOING TO LIKE WHAT I HAVE TO SAY BUT LIVING THE LIFE I LIVE I GET MANY OF MEN WANTING TO EXPERIMENT WITH THEIR SEXUALITY AND THEY WANT TO EXPLORE THAT FANTASY WITH ME OR OTHER GURLS LIKE ME. MOST HAVE GIRLFRIENDS OR ARE MARRIED,AND EVEN HAPPILY INVOLVED IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS. AND WILL LET YA KNOW THAT THEY ARE NOT LOOKING FOR NOTHING SERIOUS AND ARE HONEST WITH YOU ABOUT THEM HAVING A GIRL OR WIFE.WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I WOULD BE SO NAIVE ABOUT MENS AGENDA WITH ME AND I WOULD FALL HELPLESSLY IN LOVE KNOWING I COULD`NT HAVE THEM BECAUSE THEY WERE SOMEONE ELSE'S......NOW I SEE THAT IT DONT JUST HAPPEN WITH GURLS LIKE ME BUT ALL WOMEN IN GENERAL WHO LET THEIR FEELINGS GET IN THE WAY OF A MANS SEXUAL GRATIFICATION. SO MZHUNY THERE YOU HAVE IT I MESSED AROUND WITH MEN WHO WERE COMMITTED. BUT A GURL WISED UP........TIYANNAH


Djeeper1987 47M

6/11/2006 4:23 pm

Not married, so no need to take the ring off. I have dated a married woman a long time ago. Worst thing I ever did was fall in love with the married woman. Big mistake.

Carpe Diem


fallinStrgazer 54F
388 posts
6/11/2006 5:42 pm

You are so right, but to each their own, right?...personally i wouldnt want my spouse comming on this site and lookin for someone else.. that just means hes not happy with me, why put someone through that.. why not just say hey, this isnt working we need to part and move on?.. i guess we all have our reasons for what we do, I myself, wouldnt date anyone who was married or had a girlfriend for that matter...imagine if u were the other person who was being decieved... just my opinion.. great blog huny!!!


HotTXpussy4U 48F

6/11/2006 7:30 pm

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out?? The 2 times I was married, I never took off my rings when I went out. Though I didn't wear my first ring as much...it was an old antique and I worried about me doing breaking it and his family marking me an outcast if I did. So on our 1 year anniversary he bought me a simple band..and that I never took off. Gave him back the antique one when I filed for divorce (well I made him buy it from me) and the band I gave to my mom to have it melted down. And well the second marriage, I only wore for that one 30 days, before I divorced him a month later. I pawned it the day after I moved him out of my house. Was very proud of the $20 they gave me, I took my parents to lunch!!!!

Would ya all date a married person?? Date?? NO! Have a night with, well that all depends. I've done it before and with all the cards on the table, and both parties understanding the night is just 1 night...yes. I've been tempted by many, but only a few have made it past my walls.

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know?? I never went to bed with someone I didn't intend to. Now, just because I might have forgot a name or two - - well, hell...what's in a name??? LOL

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married?? If they were married, they never revealed it. But then I "Fall" for so few.

Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this? Did not have an open marriage on either of mine. I think the only way I would consider it, is if we always played together. I would not handle them just going out and hooking up, very well. And I couldn't do that to them - - HENCE WHY I LOVE BEING SINGLE!! LMAO


mtnscribe 64M

6/11/2006 8:01 pm

Each one of us has his or her own personal story, his or her own needs, desires, situations in life, etc., me included. It is so difficult to generalize, because at the end of the day we are, after all, each of us a flawed human being, with our individual warts, failings, and strengths, elements of greatness and futility. My wife and I do not have exactly an "open marriage". It is more a "don't ask, don't tell" situation, and it works for us. If a 40ish, 50ish, 60ish sort of woman wanted a good friend "with benefits" situation with a sincere friend who was supportive, caring, loving, but without all the baggage and complications of a serious LTR, then someone like me might be an option. Otherwise, maybe not so much. For myself, I have never disguised the fact that I am married, and am going to stay that way...to the extent any of your respondents have suggested there may be benefits to having a relationship with a married person, that could only be true if there were no illusions about where the relationship could and could not go.

Anyway, the story of my life, and of my relationship with my wife, and of why I am open to meeting a compatible woman or couple is deeply personal, and one not exactly appropriate for this blog. I do want to thank the relative few of the respondents to this blog who are at least willing to entertain the idea that married people (men or women) who are on AdultFriendFinder -- even if they may not be for you personally--are not necessarily moral slugs and mainipulative degenerates, and that many, if not most, of us are just trying---like you are trying---to find a life that best finds a defensible, livable balance between our genuine needs, our wants, and our obligations.

As many have suggested, one should be cautious to judge others unless one has first walked a mile in the "judgee's" moccasins.


silverbreeze2 65F

6/11/2006 8:26 pm

My husband and I never wore rings, my choice not too, and his job was dangerous, afraid he would lose a finger.But, I never cheated on him in 37 years of marriage, and I don't think to my knowledge he cheated on me. The swinging lifestyle does work for some people, but for some, it's setting off dynamite. My daughters husband walked out on her and a baby after 16 years because she would not agree to be a swinger. Their divorce will be final next month. They did get along great...until the swinging issue came along.


Myhoneysrooster 68M
882 posts
6/11/2006 8:31 pm

Never take my wedding band off because it is in my briefcase. Got tired of crushing it everytime I grabbed sometning and squeezed. it is an Irish wedding band and I will get it straightened one of these days and then put it back on. When I was wearing it, I never took it off. I'm right proud to be married to Honey. Let anyone know in a heartbeat that I am married.

Married person. Yep I would dat ethem. Anyone reading my profile can see where it plainly states though that I want the Husband to know and accept what is happening. Don't care for cheaters.

My God Lady, When I was a drinking man, I often woke up with a total stranger. I had A body back then, bedroom eyes, a pocket full of hard earned cash and was the most womanizing fellow around. Many the time i woke up with a stranger in a strange bed and house. Lordy am I glad them days are done with.

Never fell for a married woman until I met Honey. She was in the process of getting seperated. A couple months after we got togetrher i bought her a plane ticket and sent her home for the weekend to visit her husband and make sure this was what she wanted. Never cared for home wreckers either so didn't want to be one.

Yep. My marriage is open. I wouldn't be here otherwise. She always know what I do and I always know what she does and with whom. We don't do things behind the others back. Extracurricular sex is for pleasure only and has no deep emotional attachment for either of us. We can be friend and even good friends but nothing past that heart wise. I happen to be very much in love with my wife and she with me. We are also grown up enough to know that sometimes a side dish makes the meal a little better.


rm_mariner464 70M
40 posts
6/11/2006 8:52 pm

Do I wear a ring?... NOPE ..tried to; but, it turned my nose green ... but y'all know I'm married.
Would I date a married Lady? ... YES! I'd make sure she knew I was also!
Have I ever woke up with someone I didn't know? ... Nope! Never been that drunk ..... yet!
Have I ever fallen for someone only to find out they were married? Nope ... willin' to give it a try though!
Do I have an open marriage? To tell you the truth .. I don't friggin' know any more!
Mz.Honeyhole: 8 years ago I spent alot of time in TEXAS visitin' some sweet friends near Huntsville .... you live in a unique place .. cherish it .... "GOD LOVES TEXAS"! YEEEHAAAAAAAAAW!


BBWLady3 51F

6/11/2006 9:28 pm

hmmm... let's see

Never been married, so no ring or open marriage to worry about.

Never woke up in bed with a stranger.

Always said I'd never date a married man......learned the hard way about never saying never.....


happyladychat 47F
3740 posts
6/11/2006 10:14 pm

Huny Sista Dearest, do you know some A-F-F men actually only eye for married women? Of course... that's not why I always wear my marriage band.

Hey... You're a wonderful woman, I'm sure the right guy (AVAILABLE GUY!) will come along soonest.


Make it your challenge.... turn me ON!!


quick6forU 56M
12 posts
6/11/2006 10:30 pm

Oh, good show!, Mzhunny. Here are my answers;

Do any of ya all take your rings off -
no, I never take the ring off, except for safety reasons (machinery, workin on the car, etc.) I consider that "False Advertising". Really. Since I'm cheating, at least I won't be cheating on two people. I guess I'm trying to be honest about cheating. but lately I've been taking it off for comfort reasons - when I'm alone. (no - I'm right handed - I'm speaking aurally)

Would ya all date a married person??
Yes, of course. I would prefer a married person actually - they can relate to me more. A married person knows what they are up to - looking for sex, or to fill a void, whatever the reason, you can understand. I wouldn't lead single on, either. Don't want to hurt anybody.

Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know??
Yes, my wife.

Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married??
No, but I ran into a lot of boyfriends.

Do ya all have an open marriage??
No, it's not open - I'm a cheater. I try and explain why in my blog with my stories, but the short story is mid-life crisis, to be honest. Once you hit 40 you kinda realize that the strength of the vow depends a lot upon the individual and their circumstances. Knowing what I know now, I would never judge anybody for doing it, we all have our reasons.

q-


ethicalsluts4u 55M/52F
27 posts
6/11/2006 11:11 pm

Baby, guys I go with enjoy the fact that I'm married and they're getting some of it. I wear the wedding band and engagement ring. And, depending on the game, I may add a few to my thumbs. Jill


sassy1296 51F

6/12/2006 1:33 pm

Neither me or the husband wearing wedding bands due to our work. I have had to get to many rings out off and had to many cut my finger badly. Do I lie about being married.. Hell no. Why lie, you just going to get caught in the end.


Balibabe19 41F

6/12/2006 4:22 pm

Do any of ya all take your rings off when ya go out?? No need to

Would ya all date a married person?? [B]If the marriage was open and very transparent
Have ya ever woke up in the bed with someone ya didn't know?? One more time than I care to admit![/COLOR]
Did ya fall for someone..then they revealed..they was married??No

Do ya all have an open marriage??..It's ok..ya all are truthful to each other..about doing this? Yes our marriage is open but yet to be trialled


Loveable4343 73M
10 posts
6/12/2006 7:42 pm

There seems to be a double standard on these sites. There are so many women either married or attached that are looking for outside activities because they aren't getting what they want at home, but, if a man is in the same situation, they don't want to be bothered with them. Both are on these sites for the same thing SEX. If they aren't getting it at home, then they will go elsewhere, that is the way life is. I truly believe that if you don't take care of your partner's needs, desires, and want, they will look elsewhere for it, so you better do your job at home, or just shut up.


1973GAL 43F

6/13/2006 6:57 am

I do not take my wedding rings off when I meet a guy..they know upfront what I do and that I am married...and never ended up waking up with someone I did not know LOL...And about 6 months ago I met a guy from here and he and I broke the rules--we had some feelings start and now we cannot see one another--I never break my rule and that time I did...stupid me--learned my lesson!


insaneredhead 45F

6/15/2006 8:00 am

I've been married but I never cheated. Never cheated on any of my boyfriends ever. Why? I don't know why...I guess I just look at it as...if I feel the need to be with someone else, then I don't need to be with you. I either give a shit about you or I don't. I'm pretty black or white about fidelity when it comes to MY behavior. Now when talking about other people, my rules don't apply because..they are MY rules. I've dated and unfortunately fell in love with two different married men. The unfortunate part is not loving them, they are wonderful guys but it's unfortunate because it is so rare for it to work out the way you would like it too. Like I said previously, I'm very loyal. If I say I'm with you, I'm there. You don't have to worry for a second about me steppin' out on you. However, I expect the same if I am in a relationship with you. That doesn't fly at all with a married guy of course. I saw one of the men for 6 yrs off and on. It was just like the line...It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Bottom line, we couldn't make it work but I still consider him one of my best friends I've ever had. The second one I have now seen for 10+ yrs (off and on) now but I have learned a lot from the first one. I don't expect shit out of him and I really don't want anything out of the relationship beyond friendship and sex. That's it. I know better now that as a friend and lover, he's perfect for me. We get along wonderfully but as a spouse? Oh hell no! I would never be able to trust him. That sounds silly but it's true. I love him to death but I couldn't trust him not to fuck around. I know he loves me as well. He freaks when I date someone long term because he knows that I won't cheat. No matter where/how it ends, I will always consider him a great love of my life, a best friend and I would never regret one minute that I had spent with him.

Would I suggest anyone get involved with a married person? Oh hell no! 9 times out of 10, it's a disaster.


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