rm_mtnravyn 60M
501 posts
9/3/2005 9:50 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


I just returned from Boston. I had gone there to visit a friend (ex lover 20 yrs ago) We have stayed in touch over the years and are truly kindred spirits. Some of what we discussed in our "kindredness"

I feel I have spent my entire life with grains of sand trying to fit in. I have marveled at these sand grains and shone my light upon them and I have covered my brightness in dirt and barnacles with the hopes that just one grain of sand
would love me. And I am too much for a sand grain. So I need to brush myself off and rediscover my authentic self and take my place in the sky. I'm still feeling a little shaky. The plunge I took has stirred up my chemical balance...endorphins, seratonins, or hormones or whatever happens when we
human beings feel more pain than we're ready to bear is still sorting out.

Transitions - She was there to just be a friend and act as my mirror. Kindred spirits do that very well. Camus wrote "If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life."

Have there been times you might have you "eluded" the implacable grandeur of your life?

rm_mtnravyn 60M
890 posts
9/4/2005 2:19 pm

mzhuny It is that comfort that is so seductive in losing sight of the path. Thanks

your_gypsy 51F

9/4/2005 7:11 pm

i have to actually step back and think about this in relation to myself, since you asked, and i will comment when i can do so, but...

... right now i have had my breath taken away, you are so eloquent and this blog entry was so beautiful. i absolutely love to see people come to realization and get in touch with their true selves. i am not kidding, i am touched very deeply by it...

Theflinkychick 105F

9/4/2005 7:32 pm

I feel like I just feel into the pool at the deep end. I've so lost touch with the "my" part of my life that I've not even been aware of grandeur being so bogged down in the fight to find me again.

Not all who wander are lost.

rm_mtnravyn 60M
890 posts
9/4/2005 7:44 pm

gypsy and flinky This country boy can only say "Aw shucks" Thanks

SunneyOne 43F

9/5/2005 11:00 am

Good for you. While you compare it to grains of sand, I compare my own self discovery to an onion (A la "Shrek"). There are layers to me that even I didn't know I had. I perceived myself to be open and honest, but I never realized how much more to me that there was until someone allowed me to truly open up. It is taking patience and encouragement for me to peel back layers, layers that I didn't even know I had, walls and defense mechanisms that I was even aware I'd put up, to get to feelings and thoughts that I have buried for a long time because I didn't think it was "good" to let them out.

It is so liberating to get to the core of who you are, isn't it?

rm_mtnravyn 60M
890 posts
9/5/2005 11:55 am

So true Sunney but that is a never ending quest I'm told. So I'll keep walking Thanks

rm_mtnravyn 60M
890 posts
9/5/2005 3:16 pm

Amen to that honni You are a treasure Milady

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