Online illusion  

rm_mtnravyn 60M
501 posts
9/15/2005 4:00 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Online illusion

There have a number of blogs on the topic of, in my words, "being real online." Somehow there is a belief that if I can have anonymous sex, it is not a relationship. If you have ever been in the speed (10 items only) line at the grocery store and in counting the 23 items of the person in front of you, you feel any emotion at all, you are in a relationship. While it may be shallow and limited and may never involve any communication (sort of like a very casual sexual encounter) it does create a level of intimacy.

Relationships are never simple things. I have seen many on here try to limit them to a very linear sexual aspect. I believe there is a belief somehow, if it can be kept just sexual, that gives more control. But with such a limited connection the sensuality and life seems to go out of the experience.

Participating in any relationship (friends, FWB, or any other possible level of connection) creates a texture or weave feel as the physical, emotional, and spiritual components interact. Sex adds an additional layer to the mix. Often the linearity promotes an illusion of security within the rigid structure of "sex only." However, freedom and security can only be had when one recognizes that any relationship is an ever-changing kaleidoscope of a dynamic process for each individual. Security stems, not from rigidity, but knowing one has a part and place within the vibrant, shifting context that is two people interacting.

One can only hide behind a profile and a keyboard for a limited period of time. At some point they must present themselves and confront the dichotomy between who they are and who they have claimed to be. In reality, any level of intimacy, due to its dynamic nature, is chaotic and not fully controllable. So being present and congruent are the best avenues to security.

ExploreMore4Me 59F

9/15/2005 6:42 pm

Dear mtnravyn... wise are your words, deep are your insights and poignant is the message. Well stated, well versed and well received. Thank you.

Hugs & Kisses My Friend!


rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
9/15/2005 11:56 pm

my experience of online relationships has been more intense and life-changing than many things i have experienced in RL...

[blog freelove999]

rm_mtnravyn 60M
890 posts
9/16/2005 6:41 am

EM4M Thank you I value your words always
Free And you are more real and secure in your blogs than many I read. Thanks for your input. I have some in which I would agree as to intensity and liffe altering.

rm_beevan1 51F

9/17/2005 12:05 pm

I wanted to thank you for posting a comment on my blog -- relevant to this blog entry of yours.... I appreciate your words on taking action. You seem an intuitive person, and could see that my introspection had stalled my progress... However, I have something (someone) to explore. I believe the overwhelming choice was difficult to sort through, and was a mitigating factor in my inability to make A MOVE. I determined that chemistry and my gut feelings were what I had to follow. Wish me luck on my adventure. I wish you luck on yours!! Thanks for your important words.

rm_mtnravyn 60M
890 posts
9/17/2005 1:56 pm

beevan Please look at my blog on Chemistry. WHile I trust my intuition I also know it can be filtered through my social history which can create and "false intutive" if you will. Most importantly honor the actions you encounter and look for the congruity. Someone once said love is expressed wehn the words, the feeling, and the behaviors are all congruent.

rm_mtnravyn 60M
890 posts
9/18/2005 4:49 am

honni Well put

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