Deep thoughts in my shallow mind  

rm_mrshyguy6705 49M
76 posts
5/19/2006 9:44 am

Last Read:
10/27/2006 8:11 am

Deep thoughts in my shallow mind

WARNING!!!

Todays post is a rambling rant!


After a previous experience, I normally stay away from the abuse lines...oops I mean advice lines. But as I was bored yesterday, I thought I would see what was going on. After all, once you wade through the arrogant, self-centered, hypocritical responses, sometimes you find a well thought out bit of advice. As I find myself in a difficult situation, I'm always looking for something that may help. One of the questions was the "Am I cheating" question. I've already made my thoughts known in Degrees of morality. But one of the responses made me stop and think for a long time. Their response was: If your wife was doing what you are doing, would you call it cheating? My answer after thinking about it was no. Now hear me out...I'm not just justifying my being on A-F-F.

In order to truly apply the question, you'd have to reverse the situation, ie - my wife would have the sex drive in overdrive and I would have little or no desire for sexual contact. If that were the case and she was on here looking to chat, be it everyday chat or even some naughty chat, I wouldn't consider it cheating. As long as she wasn't hooking up with anyone, I could live with it.

So that solves that, right? Well....it made me look at some other things I hadn't really thought about before. Like:
If our sexual relationship is unsatisfactory, how long before it starts to cause problems in other aspects of our relationship. I mean, she is a loving, caring, funny, intelligent person overall and I love her dearly, but how long before the resentment over the lack of contact starts to change things. Could this lead to an eventual divorce? What would happen to our children? Am I being selfish? Should or can I be satisfied with the once a month we make love and masturbating otherwise? I wish I knew the answers to these questions.

When we first started our relationship we were both insatiable sexually...once, sometimes twice, a day every day. Then as we were together longer it settled down to a comfortable 2 or 3 times a week. After we had our first child it started slowing down until where we are now, roughly, once a month. She even started sleeping in a different bed using excuses like...don't feel good, you're snoring, too hot, etc...until now we never sleep in the same bed unless visiting relatives. We've talked about the situation and she says she still enjoys our lovemaking but just doesn't need it as often. I've tried many things to help get her in the mood and even to make things more pleasurable for her to no avail. I'm really stumped as to what to do now.

I don't know what I really wanted when I came on here. I guess it was to find someone to chat with that could understand and help me feel wanted again sexually. Sad I guess....but then I found the blogs and I've learned a lot of things, including that I'm not alone in my situation. Others have decided to hook up with others, and still others are doing what I'm doing....blogging, making friends, and staying faithful by mastubation. I hope to find an answer to my situation someday, until then I'll keep looking for knowledge and making friends along the way.

Looking back over this, I guess it wasn't as much of a rant as a breaking logjam of thoughts. Feels good to get some of that off my chest. Thanks for listening,
and remember,
A smile is a curve that sets things straight!!


MrSG


pet_humility 48F

5/19/2006 12:04 pm

Your right your not alone on your thinking.
All right I'm going to be honest here. I have a huge sexual drive, BUT, I think its more verbal and mental then actually doing it.
I get a satisfaction out of just coming here and talking or reading stuff.

To be completely honest.. Me and my girlfriend probably only have sex once a month also. I think its the years that the hunger dies down. We don't need it like we did at first.
We also separted in to different beds. But we pushed them together.
We sleep totally different. I need a fan, she needs a heating rock..lol

I think though if we slept body to body we just might have more sex.
But with our busy life styles, sleep is more important.. so hence the different beds. I just crawl into hers every once in awhile.

So see your not alone.


rm_mrshyguy6705 49M

5/22/2006 6:03 pm

    Quoting pet_humility:
    Your right your not alone on your thinking.
    All right I'm going to be honest here. I have a huge sexual drive, BUT, I think its more verbal and mental then actually doing it.
    I get a satisfaction out of just coming here and talking or reading stuff.

    To be completely honest.. Me and my girlfriend probably only have sex once a month also. I think its the years that the hunger dies down. We don't need it like we did at first.
    We also separted in to different beds. But we pushed them together.
    We sleep totally different. I need a fan, she needs a heating rock..lol

    I think though if we slept body to body we just might have more sex.
    But with our busy life styles, sleep is more important.. so hence the different beds. I just crawl into hers every once in awhile.

    So see your not alone.
I knew I wasn't alone, your response confirms it and also makes me wonder...just how many of us are there?

Thanks for sharing,

see ya 'round!

MrSG


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