How to... Pt 2  

rm_moses743 60M
1 posts
1/29/2006 8:30 am

Last Read:
1/9/2010 10:27 pm

How to... Pt 2


I am not an expert. I am simply a man who knows what woman
likes, and has had all to many experiences with men who don't seem to
have the vaguest idea what they were doing between her legs.
These young people don't even have a clue....

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Eating a woman's pussy is about the most wonderful thing you can do for
her. It makes her feel loved, admired, sexy, and of course it makes her
cum like crazy. Many women prefer it to intercourse, and for most, it is
the easiest way to cum with a man. You may have the littlest dick on the
planet, but if you give great head, you will be appreciated as a
fabulous lover. Yes, it's that important. Besides, lots of women expect
it these days - you might as well know what your doing.

First off, we guys seem to have a strange love/hate relationship with
women's genitalia. Guys that can't wait to get their dick into one are
often reluctant to put their face "down there". For every guy who says
he loves to eat pussy, there's another one who's squeamish. Women know
this, and it affects their ability to lay back and enjoy the experience.
There is nothing more exciting to a woman than to know that her partner
finds her delicious. Don't be coy; tell her. When a guy fingers a lady
and then smells, licks, sucks the juice off his finger and sighs as if
in heaven, she _knows_ this is her lucky day.

What if your sweet lady doesn't smell or taste very sweet? Don't suffer.
(Don't complain, either.) Take a nice hot shower or bath together.
Lather up both of your bodies and slide them together. It's like a whole
body fuck. Soap up her vulva, washing between her outer and inner lips.
Spread her lips apart and gently wash her clitoris. Hey, don't stop -
this feels great! Run your soapy hand down the crack of her ass, and rub
a finger all around her anus. You can stick one finger in and wash
around inside too, if you anticipate any anal play, and I suggest you
do. But don't put those soapy fingers up her vagina. Instead, rinse them
off well and stick one or two inside, making a circular motion. Think
about washing the inside of a tall glass - same thing. Now wasn't that
fun? And now you can feel free to let your tongue wander anywhere it
pleases...

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So now what? You've found a comfy spot to play, you've been kissing
passionately, your tongues darting around each other's mouths like
playful otters. You've moved down to nibble one of her hardening nipples
and she's starting to groan, grinding her pelvis against your stomach.
STOP. I know it was just starting to get good. But was she really
groaning and humping you, or was it your own excitement you were
detecting? I strongly suggest you find out if she is excited _before_ a you starts
plunging your tongue into her inner recesses. Use your judgement, and
kiss, lick, and fondle your way down her stomach, up her thighs, until
she's arching up her back trying to get you to eat her. Of course, if
she really _was_ groaning and grinding, go for it...
Enjoy endless nibbling her inner thigh while her clit
is quivering in anticipation.

POSITIONS

If the woman you are with is somewhat hesitant about your going down on
her, start off with her lying on her back, perhaps half- sitting. Lay
down between her legs, with her legs over your shoulders. She may enjoy
laying or sitting at the edge of the bed with you kneeling. She can also
straddle your face, but be prepared to get _very_ wet. There are endless
varieties of positions where you can press your face up to her cunt,
some of which strike me as more acrobatic than erotic, but feel free to
experiment. And then there's 69...

69 is one of my favorite positions. On the plus side, you both get to
enjoy the sublime sensations of getting head, simultaneously. The upside
down positioning of a woman's pussy and your mouth is an easy fit and
there's more room for your hands. On the negative side, it's a less than
ideal position for a woman to give head. Plus, if you need to read this
article, you may be better off concentrating your energies on pleasing
her, without to much distraction. But even for experienced 69'ers, it's
easy to short-change your partner. "It feels soooo good, I'm just gonna
stop for a second and concentrate on what you're...aaaarrrgghhh". Get
the picture? Some show of will-power is in order.

69 can be done male on top, female on top, or side by side. The latter
two are easier, though it's more restful with both partners laying down.
Some women love being licked on all fours, so if female-on-top 69 drives
her wild, take the hint and find some other ways to eat her in this
position. I happen to enjoy male on top, but for many women this is a
sure choking position. If a woman can, or wants to try, to deep-throat
you, this is THE position. When her head is thrust back you can really
slide your cock all the way down her throat. But don't forget what
_you're_ supposed to be doing!

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So there you are staring at it - the mysterious hole from whence you
came, and into which you hope to cum again... First, an anatomy
lesson...

THE CLITORIS

Before I go any further, a few words about the clitoris, accent on the
first syllable. Most of you know it, but for those who don't, it is THE
woman's sex organ, period. It may feel great to be fucked vaginally,
anally or otherwise, but if the stimulation is not right there, on the
clitoris, you're ignoring the place that's going to make her cum, and
presumably that's why you're reading this, right? It's right there at
the top juncture of her inner lips, a small knob of pink flesh. This is
where it's at boys, and don't forget it. Almost any licking and sucking
of the labia or vaginal entrance is going to feel just dandy; just
remember that this is pleasurable _teasing_, not the main event. I
can't tell you how many guys think by have thrust their tongues up a vagina
thinking that this was going to make her cum. They were wrong. Of course,
with a little manual stimulation....but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Women feel differently about how much direct stimulation they can take
on their clitoris. Some women will adore it if you suck hard on their
exposed clits, others will shriek in pain. You may encounter a woman
who is completely unable to take direct stimulation of her clit; the
goal is still the same, but you'll have to stimulate it indirectly,
such as through her labia. IMPORTANT NOTE: Often, what is unacceptably
rough at first may be fine after she's very excited. The fact is, most
women really need a good bit of stimulation before a targeted attack
on their clitoris, but once they're there, that's where you want to
devote your attention.

The key here is go slow, ask questions, and if she's comfortable with
it, leave the lights on and really explore. Body language often does
tell what feels best, but I promise, she will appreciate your
attentiveness if you ask outright. If she seems shy, get her to guide
your hands and mouth with her own hand, and pay attention. If she starts
bucking up against your mouth and gasping in ragged little breaths, for
God's sake, don't use this opportunity to try something different. Just
keep doing exactly what you're doing.

THE TONGUE

I want to reiterate, there is almost nothing you can do that won't feel
terrific, so relax! I promise, you may be confused and uncertain, but
she's in heaven. Any licking and sucking of the labia, vaginal entrance,
clitoris, or anal area is going to feel just great,
But for those who are compelled to RTFM, here
are a few techniques that you might like to try:

Try lapping her pussy from vaginal entrance up to her clit, leaving your
tongue soft and jaw relaxed. This is a good way to start your tonguing.

Run your tongue between the inner and outer labia on one side, while
holding the two together with your lips. Good job, now do the other
side.

Fuck her pussy with your tongue - in and out, around and around, etc.
This will feel nice. Not wonderful or incredible or earth-shaking; nice.

Spread her outer lips with your hand. Then, with your tongue pointed and
stiff, gently flick here and there. Feel free to roam, but keep coming
back to her clit. This drives some women wild, and others can't take it.
Some may prefer that you always leave your tongue soft, so when you try
this, pay attention to whether those moans are ecstacy or pain.

The following techniques should not be introduced until your partner is
really hot (i.e. she's no longer coherent). These are very intense
actions which may be "to much" for some women, even when nearing
orgasm.

With her clit still exposed, give it a quick little suck - pulling it
into your mouth briefly and letting it go. This is a lot like licking a
bit of cake batter off of your pinky. This will feel incredible, and is a
fine thing to do if you feel like torturing her.

Take her exposed clit into your mouth and gently (at first, anyway)
suck on it, simultaneously flicking your tongue over and around
it. This can be done very lightly or very aggressively, and combined
with fingering, will usually rapidly produce an intense orgasm.

Another choice technique involves rolling your tongue into a tube. If
you can't do this with your tongue, you can't learn it - it's genetic.
For those who can, this works best in an inverted or 69 position. Roll
your tongue into a tube _around_ the shaft of her clitoris. Slide it up
and down; in effect, your tongue makes a tiny pussy for her clit to
fuck. This also is likely to bring her over the edge.

FINGERS

Fingers are a valuable adjunct to eating pussy. Most women masturbate by
pressing a finger or fingers over their clit, possibly "thru" the skin
of their inner or outer lips, and vigorously rubbing in a circular or
back-and-forth direction. You can do this too, and it is most helpful to
ask, or better yet, have her show you how she likes it done. You will
never be a good lover until you can bring your woman to climax with your
hands. When you fuck her from behind, or up her ass, or really in any
position which doesn't allow her to simultaneously rub her vulva against
your body, reach down or around and rub her clit. I know it's
distracting, but just do it anyway. One important point to note: make
sure that your fingers are well lubricated. There is nothing more
uncomfortable (and sometimes downright painful) than a dry finger
roughly rubbed across woman's clitoris.

Of course, that's not all you can do with your fingers. One technique
which is very exciting is to spread her lips wide apart with one hand,
and with your index finger straight like a pencil, flick the side of it
rapidly across her clit. This motion alone will often bring a woman to
orgasm. Combining this with the addition of some tongue action
elsewhere is nothing short of bliss.

Sticking one or more fingers inside her vagina is also wonderful. You
can simply move them in and out (this feels best with at least two or
three fingers, pushed in hard), or wriggling them around. A particularly
intense motion is to face your hand so that you have two fingers inside
her with your palm facing the front of her body. Now move your fingers
rapidly, as if waving hello. You are aiming to stimulate a particular
part of the woman's vagina - namely the lower anterior (front) part.
When combined with sucking her clit, this is nearly certain to bring her
to a fast and intense climax.

An excellent way to begin manual stimulation is to stick one (and later
two) fingers inside her, with your palm cupped over the mons area. I'm
talking about that fleshy "mound" over her pubic bone. Your finger goes
in and out and the ball of your hand is pressed hard against her vulva.
You may want to rub or even shake the entire area with your palm.

Fingers also do nice things to tight little butt holes, but that's a
whole other story...

ANAL PLAY

This stuff is purely optional. If anal play doesn't turn you on, don't
do it. If you're uncomfortable, she'll pick up on your feelings and
start wondering if it's her pussy that's turning you off. Don't feel
that you can't be a good lover without anal play; you can.

Cleanliness is of the essence. (remember that nice soapy shower?) Scoop
out some luscious juices (from a very wet pussy) with your finger and
rub it around her anus. (If she isn't well lubricated, saliva works
too.) If that's all you or she feels comfortable with, fine - it still
feels great. But I think most women enjoy the feel of a finger or tongue pushed up
their ass while they're being fucked or eaten. You need to be gentle,
possibly even leaving your finger still. Try moving it in and out a
little, or around in a circle. If she starts moaning, you know you're
doing something right.

It's really fun to feel a woman's anus rhythmically squeezing your
finger or tongue as she cums. (And it's great for her, too) You're probably
thinking about what that would feel like around your dick, and it's
something you should certainly explore. Ass-fucking is somewhat out of
the scope of this, but suffice to say, if she doesn't like a
finger up her butt, she sure as hell won't want your big dick up
there. Even if she does enjoy this sort of play, she may still be
somewhat apprehensive about putting something so large up there. The
keys to success are sufficient (i.e. copious amounts of) lubrication
(a water-soluble type such as K-Y, which is safe for condoms),
relaxation on her part, and a slow, _gentle_, approach. She'll
certainly tell you if she wants you to thrust harder or deeper. And
remember, if you want to feel that delicious squeezing around your
cock, reach around and diddle that clit!

As for anallingus - why not? Don't feel like you HAVE to do it to
satisfy your woman. But if the idea turns you on, great. Let your tongue
rove as it pleases. It's not necessary to actually put your tongue
inside her butt to stimulate the area. Back and forth, around and
around, you get the picture.

One hygiene note: once that finger (or your penis) has been inside her
ass, don't even think about putting it anywhere else. Carelessness in
this regard can cause a horrendous infection.

MENSTRUATION

a lot of men who are completely comfortable going down on
a woman when she has her period. But some are not. Most women are at their
horniest before and sometimes during their period. You should definitely
find a way to make her cum when she's bleeding, be it thru intercourse,
manual, or oral stimulation. If you feel comfortable going down on her,
great. It's perfectly safe. You may suggest that she insert a tampon,
and then wash up. (As you now know, you don't need to get anywhere near
her vagina to make her cum.) Or you could lay down a few old towels,
turn out the lights, and forget about it.

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER

I think variety is crucial. It's Much better to do the unexpected;
sometimes a hungry, aggressive approach,
other times a laid-back, leisurely one. You can even include your
nose, or your chin into the act. Start slow, that's the key, and let
your lover guide the speed of the crescendo. In all cases, start
gently. Roughness and clumsiness are big turn-offs. As she gets more
and more excited, pay more attention to her clitoris. When she's three
breathes away from cumming, moving your mouth off or away from her
clit is agony. That's fine if you're intentionally torturing her, just
understand that this is what you are doing. The only prohibition is to
be reasonably gentle with her clit. Nibbling or biting is fine
elsewhere, but we're talking about a _sensitive_ spot.

Speaking of prolonging the agony... I think this is great fun. Bring
your partner just to the edge of orgasm, and _stop_. This is not easy
unless you really know your lover well. Instead, just have her help you.
Say, "Grab my head and stop me just before you think you're gonna cum."
Then take your sweet time. Blow on her clit, take it into your mouth
just briefly, flick it just the very slightest bit. You will have this
woman squirming and moaning like she's dying. Finger her deeply, enjoy
the ecstasy you are imparting, and finally, have pity. Let the poor
woman cum.

UUUUNNNNGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! (or, I'M COMING!!!)

Okay, she's practically suffocating you, she's pressed so hard against
your face; she's screaming and bucking up in the air; you feel her pussy
contracting wildly - how long should you keep it up?? The simple answer
is, until she makes you stop. Some women may stop you after five seconds
from the start of their climax, others may be able to roll right into
another orgasm if you keep going. Do come up for air, but remember, her
excitement does not drop off as sharply as ours does. Play it safe by
continuing the stimulation.

How many times does she need to cum? Some women are very content to have
one orgasm. A whole lot of women would really like to cum again, but
need about five minutes to recoup. Many women are so sensitive right
after they cum that they may push your head violently away. This doesn't
necessarily mean they've had enough, only that you need to stop for a
few minutes. In fact most women, given a short rest between, are capable
of cumming again and again. A smaller percentage of women are able to
cum repeatedly with continued stimulation. This is the much-touted
multiple-orgasm that is experienced by a minority of women. I know this
makes it difficult to know when enough is enough, but there's a simple
answer: ask her.

GODI'MSOEXCITEDITFEELSGREATBUTIJUSTCAN'TCOME

It happens to all of us sometimes - distraction, embarrassment, anxiety,
or just an inability to "let go". What do you do about it? The first
question is, can she easily bring herself to a climax in the privacy of
her own home. If the answer is no - then she needs to do some homework.
There are two books on the subject that I know of: "For Yourself: The
Fulfillment of Female Sexuality" by Lonnie Barbach, and "Sex for One:
The Joy of Selfloving" by Betty Dodson; pick up one. Then tell her to
read it, study it, and practice, practice, practice!

Now if your partner is orgasmic only when alone - ask her point blank:
"Is there something different I can do?" Many women are shy about
criticizing their lovers, but if asked outright will surprise you with a
very specific answer. It may be a simple matter of mechanics, like a
little to right please, or not so rough, or more pressure and faster.
Ah... perfect.

But suppose everything is wonderful. She says you're doing everything
right but she just can't cum. There are two probable causes: self-
consciousness and/or self-loathing. For women who can't help watching
themselves, the best approach is to eliminate anything that focuses her
attention on what the two of you are doing. This is a "be here now" kind
of thing - definitely not an introspective activity. Get that mirror off
the ceiling. Dim the lights or turn them off completely. Put on some
soft music. Share a glass of port. (I said A glass - getting drunk will
definitely not help). Have her lay on her back, or propped up
comfortably with some pillows. This is not the time for her to sit on
your face, or the edge of the bed, or standing up against a wall.
Arrange a time when you can devote a long period to eating her pussy,
and then just keep it up. Forget everything I said about asking her
questions - just close your eyes and get into it. I know this can be a
difficult and exhausting exercise, but she will be extravagantly
thankful for your efforts. It gets easier each time. If all else fails,
get accustomed to masturbating together. Gradually begin to add your
stimulation to her own, right before she's about to cum anyway. Over
time, you can take over completely.

For women who themselves feel that their cunts are dirty or distasteful,
all of the above methods may be helpful, but the underlying issue must
also be addressed. I am amazed at how many women are ambivalent about
their own genitals. They don't love "that part" of their body, and they
can't believe that we would either. Yes, it is important to be clean.
But clean means a daily shower which includes washing the vulva. It
doesn't mean vainly attempting to remove every trace of smell or taste.
The natural fragrance and secretions of a healthy woman are beautiful
and erotic. Hopefully you agree (and if not, try hard to cultivate this
attitude). When she learns to love her pussy, she will be infinitely
more comfortable with your loving it too.

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