Secrets to finding a nice man. Pt 1  

WardsSiegeValse 40M
13 posts
8/12/2005 8:13 pm

Last Read:
11/21/2008 4:40 am

Secrets to finding a nice man. Pt 1

Now first of all this blog is long. I have had to divided it into 2 parts for the sake of space.

The following are based on experiences of that and some of my freinds both male and female. The conversation that sparked this was all about men trying to pick up women in montreal, and therefore in no means universal... So if you have the time ...enjoy.

I wrote this blog for a few reasons. Many times the issue of finding a nice man has come up with many of my friends. I have been asked quite a few times on how to find a nice man. Or comments like, I hope my next man is like you, how could I find someone like that, do you have any friends? Now as much as I appreciate the compliment, there are something’s that I feel women should consider first, before they can find a nice man. So to answer many questions on “Mmarus, how can I find a nice man?”, I thought to drop my two cents from personal experience and that of my friends and family I thought to throw it up as a bulletin, then as a blog so y’all can comment on it. I know it is long, however, when have I minced words…. Giggles. Keep in mind that this of course... is biased.

Also I we already know many of these points apply to men as well, however for the purpose of the question at hand... we are focusing on women waiting for the nice guy.

PT 1… Contradictions and vicious cycles.?


A few months ago, I started a survey of sorts as a couple of you know, asking women if they say a man they liked, a few times, at the club, not really playing as the others do, and he is hot. If you catch him checking you, would you go make the first move. Have gotten many different answers, however the two that came back the most was… No, cause it is a man job to do so… or something along that effect… (double standard) and secondly if he does not have the courage to come speak to me then he is not worth it (what if he is thinking the same thing?). Which has been the basis of MANY heated discussions, with a few of you…

Consider this:

Out of the many discussions I have had on this topic, a few things have come up.

First is that, most women are afraid of rejection which is why they will not approach a man. Yo! That is SOOO Cold! I am seriously laughing… cmon… Women reject men like it is a fashion statement. Hey I’ve been friends with a lot of women…(recently called the gay friend, who is not gay…hmmmmmm) and you BRAG sometimes of how you shot down some guy! Yet, I can count on one hand the number of times, I have seen a guy shoot down a woman who actually approached him. Even with his girlfriend there!

I agree with women when they talk about how bad it is to go out sometimes… they cannot be left alone… ect... I know it is very tough and for the most part some men can be relentless and really just do not get the hint. Unfortunately it is even worse with the brothers… some of my peeps just DON’T get it. Hence the initial reaction when a woman see a man approaching them when they are chillin with their girls at the club.

What do you want?

You know… I went out with these two women a while back who on the way to the club all they talked about was meeting a man, yet when they got to the club, they Dissed every man there, and asked me to dance with them so peeps would leave them alone, then went back to complaining on the way home. I literally giggled my ass off the whole time. I was going to say something… but why bother. You know, some of the guys where probably nice, and cool, however…. We will never know…..

BTW… I would like to ad… good luck finding your nice thug. You know… someone who is not TOOO nice… and if you do, don’t complain about his attitude, is it what you were looking for. However this principle usually applies to people looking for a “challenges”. You know some one who is going to play (notice the word) hard to get. Or someone with a quality you feel you can change….cause you are just heading for trouble.


If you have worked hard to get a man, and he treats you right, therefore your hard work will have gone to something… chances are you wont take it for granted. However if it is handed to you on a silver platter, you may be great at the beginning however many tend to slack off after a while and wonder … what happened. This works for both sides btw.. but for the context of this discussion we are referring to women going after a man. A nice man does not want to feel that he is doing all the work, chances are he has already been down that road, and will catch on pretty quick, if not … he will catch on later… when it REALLY hurts! So check yourself before you wreck yourself.

This is just part one, to give you a couple of things to think about. Now we will move on to the second part and talk more about the profile of the Nice guy. What does a nice man want. There are many women that I know that are looking for a nice man, however do not realize the many things they do to scare them away.

redmustang91 57M  
8654 posts
8/12/2005 10:36 pm

women who want men can get them, there are so many volunteers! If she is alone, she wants to be alone. Why does she want to be alone? Hurt, fear, not into sex, not want to deal with demands of another, etc.

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