A bad day  

rm_metalmama69 42F
5299 posts
11/30/2005 7:14 am

Last Read:
11/27/2006 9:14 am

A bad day

Today is starting out to be pretty rotten! I guess we all have bad days, but most of mine are great so the bad ones seem twice as bad. I started Atkins yesterday, maybe that is the problem. During the first 2 weeks of Atkins you can only have meat, eggs, cheese and 2 cups of salad a day. NOTHING ELSE! I was eating next to nothing before, so I'm not sure why this is bothering me. Maybe it is because it is so restricted! Even though I wasn't eating much before, I knew I could have whatever I wanted if I ate. I must be crazy!!!!!!!!! I've been on this diet before and I always seem to get depressed when I'm on it! So why am I doing this to myself? Is being thinner really worth my mental health? I've done great with the plan I was on, I look awesome! But I feel the need to impress a few people I'll be seeing soon, that's why I went back on it. On Atkins you can lose alot of weight quickly if you stick to it. The last time I was on it I lost 18 pounds in 11 days and felt great! I wish I could just accept myself for who I am and not worry about appearances. I envy those people who can do that! A friend once told me about an obese woman he saw at a nude beach, naked as can be and she was totally comfortable! I've tried to keep that story in my head but when I look at myself naked all I can see are the flaws! It makes my skin crawl, and I'm not fat! I only have about 15 more to lose, and that isn't much really. Most of the girls I know have at least a few pounds to lose. This trips me out a little because now I'm wondering how I will feel at my goal weight of 120 pounds. Will it be enough? Will I be happy at that point or still see a fat person in the mirror? Is this how an anorexic feels? I look at someone who is anorexic and wonder how they even got to that point. Can't they see how thin they are? Now I know how they get to that point. I think I can understand where their mind is at. I'm not saying I'm like that, I don't think I am. But I can relate to how they see themselves. And I wonder if most anorexics have people around them trying to support them, or are they all alone in their own little world like me? I know from experience that it gets pretty lonely living within the confines of your own head...good thing I'm not brain dead! Well, I guess I'm going to stick with Atkins, as much as it bites! I will probably feel worse if I quit and will definately feel worse if I don't lose this weight. I just have to be strong, not let it get to me. I have to try to stay positive thru this next 2 weeks. I know it will be hard but I'm stronger than any diet and I will overcome. I could always start smoking weed again if I get too down! Thanks for taking the time to read this! For whatever reason, this seems to help me put things in perspective. I'll keep you updated!

9Simon9 66M
292 posts
12/1/2005 5:29 am

Quit the diet; enjoy your food, but not to the point of excess.

Our crazy society has warped our perceptions of what a good figure should be; disregard that crap.

I'm sure there are plenty of clothes out there, some you might already own, that will make your figure look flattering. Wear 'em and get back to enjoying your life to the fullest. I enjoy your sunny demeanor.

Take care.

rm_mwm4u36stny 47M

11/30/2005 8:26 am

I can reassure you babe that you are by no means fat! I know that everyone has there own comfort level when it comes to how much they weigh and look in a mirror, but happiness is measured in things other than weight. If this is what you want and it makes you happy in the end then go for it. I still think you look great as you are.

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