To all my animal loving friends.  

maverick1255 51M
2992 posts
6/17/2006 10:24 am
To all my animal loving friends.

Not that type of love, pervs!!

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall
faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will contine sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but
sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, THEN go smell the other dog or cat's REAR. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

"To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets"

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children



with care,

Mav

(omg, how I NOW love all these forwarded emails. LOL!)



meerkittykat 42F

6/17/2006 11:17 am

The little buggers worm their way into our lives, don't they??

I have a bone to pick with you.......


maverick1255 replies on 6/17/2006 12:25 pm:
I am here to merely serve them!!!

Yea, Yea, I know the bone (((( SD )))) of contention!
:")

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
6/17/2006 11:43 am

Remember: Dogs and cats are worse than kids because they

1. eat tin-foil, puke, their own shit, other animals shit, human shit, plastic, wood, drywall, ect, ect, ect.........


maverick1255 replies on 6/17/2006 12:27 pm:
Yea, but yours only eat small pieces of tin foil, small pcs of shit, small pcs of other shit, very small plastic pcs, splinters, dust, etc. etc. LOL!!!!!!

phoenix639 49F

6/17/2006 12:15 pm

OMG...how gorgeous is that little babe.

I adore dogs...& bunnies.

My Lucky (bunny) thinks shes a permanent puppy.

What a wonderful blog.


maverick1255 replies on 6/17/2006 2:51 pm:
Thanks for stopping by Phoenix. Glad to see you feeling better!

I don't think most people realize how much personality a bunny can have. They can be very sweet and loving. And others can be very ornery and enjoy nothing more than to bite you!

clitalicious67 49F

6/17/2006 12:24 pm

HAHAHA I received this same email this week and was going to post it but NOW you have stolen my thunder (sigh)...

C~


maverick1255 replies on 6/17/2006 2:54 pm:
You know what they say? The early blogger gets all the praise!!!!

Sorry, about jumping the gun. If you want you can just post a link to your new friend at Mav's place!! LOL!!!

papyrina 50F
21133 posts
6/17/2006 12:28 pm

i prefer them to kids thats for sure


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


maverick1255 replies on 6/17/2006 2:55 pm:
For Sure!!

funintheday2006 56M
9659 posts
6/17/2006 12:36 pm

Mav, we all now have our suspicions confirmed. You try to be neanderthal and the macho naked man hiding his weenie but, we now know your a softie. How? Becaause the very fact you found that amusing shows you care about animals and have experience of their foibles. My own two persian cats agree with me, we had a discussion about you over dinner and furthermore they have asked(not me) that you refrain from asking me to expose myself on my profile or blog. They are very concerned that you may be a closet gay and the door is opening.
Now you stand by my old mate because I have another wheeze coming in the next day or so.....
That was an excellen forward by the way.<


maverick1255 replies on 6/17/2006 3:00 pm:
Wait until I tell them you are thinking of moving!!! They will come to my side. And you had better watch out. They hold a grudge!!! ROTFLMAO!!

Not gay, but at the rate I am going - maybe priesthood!!!!! Watch out nuns!!! I would never last, my sarcasm is pure evil!!!! LOL!!!!

oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
6/17/2006 12:44 pm

I've two cats and they are my kids.

They do take up a lot of bed for as small as they are.

Loved your post.


maverick1255 replies on 6/17/2006 3:03 pm:
Thanks Oldman. Yea, amazing how something so small, can become so large sharing a bed!!

When I used to have blankets on the floor for my dogs, I think I used it more than they did. And I got more room!!! LOL

themisskrissy 56F
2302 posts
6/17/2006 5:51 pm

this is great!!!!!

thanks for the link Phoe!!

and if the little darlings really get bad, you can put 'em to sleep!!!

AS IF!!!!


Virtue Alone Ennobles


maverick1255 replies on 6/17/2006 6:49 pm:
Thanks for stopping by! Ok, I will take that as humor - that they are easier to get rid of than KIDS!!

JuicyBBW1001 54F

6/17/2006 6:05 pm

My kid is like your cats and dogs when it comes to the bed. Only problem is I have a double bed right now and when she climbs in at night it is usually when I am too tired to fight with her and by morning I am hanging on to the edge of the bed so I don't fall out. When you wanna trade my kid makes a good babe magnet.(jk)

Juicy


maverick1255 replies on 6/17/2006 6:52 pm:
Oh, I completely understand the bed issues!! I get the strip at the edge. Not really part of the bed. I am just wrapped in the sheet and cover, like a cocoon, hanging off the SIDE!! LOL!!

And this is not a good plan for company!! ROTFLMAO ..... now I am due to the fact that it is true!

papyrina 50F
21133 posts
6/17/2006 6:26 pm

Not gay, but at the rate I am going - maybe priesthood!!!!! Watch out nuns!!!

hehe then i'm in for something


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


maverick1255 replies on 6/17/2006 6:47 pm:
Yea, I was wondering if your ears were burning!!! You have been really causing quite a stir with that new pic. That is not 40 years old!!!!

I had just seen that you were online and IMC/ chatting. And was thinking - when does this woman sleep!! LOL!!

cactusass 55F

6/18/2006 3:35 pm

OMG i love it, i love it, i love it!!!
Thanks for the laughs, i needed it sooo bad!
(i will be known as the crazy cat woman in my twilight years i'm sure)


maverick1255 replies on 6/18/2006 4:44 pm:
LOL!! Yea, everyone just knows about my 'ZOO'. They usually ask more questions about so and so the animal and how they are, than me!!!!

gypsy1629 41F

6/18/2006 5:30 pm

LOL.....just loved that one....had me laughing like a maniac!

gypsy


maverick1255 replies on 6/18/2006 7:28 pm:
Thanks, yea, anyone who has had any type of pet knows the powers they have over us!!

VCF1962 104F

6/29/2006 7:03 am

Hell - I thought most women loved men that love animals ! I know I do !!!! Shows a sensitive side.

Loved the post and thanks to Phoe for posting it in her blog !

Happy days Mav - any man that steps over my threshold has THREE pussies to contend with !!

Mistress Innuendo
Taking what you say and turning it into something naughty !!


maverick1255 replies on 6/29/2006 8:54 am:
Thanks!

I get it!

Become a member to create a blog