Mismatched Libido  

rm_maple911 56F
14 posts
12/23/2005 10:08 am

Last Read:
3/14/2007 9:43 pm

Mismatched Libido

Problems occur when libidos of partners are grossly mismatched or if the relationship is not a strong one to begin with .
Lately I’m worrying this issue will spell disaster down the road. Even as I’ve accustomed myself to having infrequent sex, there has been no adjustment to my libido... we seem to have completely have opposite attitudes and desires regarding sex. I see physical intimacy as deeply important in a relationship; he doesn't seem to have the same feeling.
I, however, have a very strong sex drive. Constant rejection from him (e.g.” Sweetie, you’re being a pest”, “I’m too tired”, etc) leaves me depressed and resentful. It gets to the point where I prefer not to have physical contact with him at all. I can get myself off to dampen the physical aspects of the issue, but it's not just about release, it's about the whole physical contact issue. I am so constantly aroused that I often have very vivid sexual dreams that leave me frustrated, with a compulsion to have to masturbate to relieve this frustration. My life is busy, and I quite simply do not want to feel this constant 'horniness'! I envy women with low libidos, and I feel like a freak for complaining about mine being too high, as it doesn't seem to be an 'acceptable' or legitimate problem for women to have!
Over the years his apathy and constant rejection of me has worn me down and eaten away at my confidence. I really don't think there's anyone else and I know he loves me and finds me attractive, but he just doesn't seem to want to have sex!!!
I have strayed once in the past for the same reason, and it only caused complication and heartache, and being ALONE with a libido like this SUCKS!!

kyplowboy22 61M

12/23/2005 1:04 pm

Know the feeling from the other side of the street. Just couldn't take it anymore. So I'm here. Come by and visit my blog, if you like. Always like company. Hope to see you around. Later


SmedlySuperGophr 52M

12/24/2005 6:47 pm

One of the many reasons my Lady and I have an open relationship is due to our different sex drives and pleasure thresholds. I like it nice and slow and she likes banging like crazy. It would be selfish of me to subject her to a life of frustration.

northrnexposd69 55M
1 post
1/6/2006 7:37 am

I was in the same situation for many years ... married but very mismatched interest in sex and intimacy ... I would have been happy with a few times a week, though I certainaly could have enjoyed much more. My then wife was happy with a few times a year ...and I often felt she did that just to 'keep me happy'. I felt the same emotions, hurt, rejection, depression, wondering if I'm 'that bad a lover'. Even my requests for couple counselling fell on deaf ears ... in the end, the marriage didn't last. I was faithful to her for a lot of years ..and only strayed in the last year .. out of desperation I think, but it let me realize that I was a good lover (a lil rusty as it had been a long time) but my partners were very happy, and that brought back a lot of self confidence, and I realized that it was time to move on, the marriage was only on paper more than it was anything else. Yes, it was hard, though amicable, to seperate and divorce, but we are both very much happier now. There are a number of other's in your situation, maple, I admire you for staying with it, I know from experiance how emotionally draining it can be, if you ever feel the need to chat, feel free to contact Me. I wish you all the best ..

rm_keener1956 60M

1/17/2006 12:15 pm

Just reread your blog on mismatched libido, could not agree more, particularly the anxiety it creates. When we get to the point in a relationship when there is more frustration than fornication, its just time to move on. Message me sometime

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