A lot on my mind-Part one  

rm_magman39 50M
4 posts
2/2/2006 10:01 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

A lot on my mind-Part one

Dam, blogin is harder than I thought. Today is the first day I have had a chance to update, and I find my mind swimming with all sorts of things to talk about, but they are so jumbled in my mind I find it hard to put things into words, but here it goes.

Recently I have been finding myself wallowing in self pity. It has been two years since my ex and I split and only about 7 months since are divorce has been final. I am not sorry about the divorce, thank god it was under good terms, but i really feel sorry for my two boy's. They seemed to be fine with things at first but are now having some problems that are even showing up at school. I only get to see them on my day's off, but unlike most people I do not work a 9-5 Mon-Fri job. I work swing shifts and my day's off rotate. So if they fall on a school day I have limited time with them. I try to be fair with them and split my time evenly, but somehow it always seems that one or the other gets more attention then the other. Oh well, I guess that is something I will have to work out on my own.

I bought a house last July after living in an apartment for a year, and I really though that might help my mood over the last year, but it hasn't. If anything it's worse. Now instead of coming home to an empty apartment I come home to an empty house, so I find myself going to my local hangout, bar, instead. At least there I know a bunch of people and get some adult conversation. I lost most of my friends after the divorce. I still talk to them on occasion, but don't do anything with them, because the ex is still their neighbor. I do have a couple of good friends that I hang out with so it's not like I have no friends, but still it hurt to loose close friends.

Well, I guess that is enough rambling for now. I will post part 2 soon.

Be well, be safe, and be good, and if you can't be good. Have fun being bad

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