ANY ONE HEARD A GOOD JOKE LATELY?  

rm_magic_U_seek 57M
1 posts
9/7/2005 3:19 am

Last Read:
2/9/2007 12:35 am

ANY ONE HEARD A GOOD JOKE LATELY?

THE MAN WALKS INTO THE BAR....

A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR AND SITS DOWN.
THE BARTENDER ASKS THE MAN WHAT HE WANTS.
AND THE MAN SAYS, "GIVE ME A BUD LITE."

THE BARTENDER BRINGS HIM THE BUD LITE,

SUDDENLY HE NOTICES THAT THE MAN WAS JUST
POKING AT HIS RIGHT HAND WITH HIS LEFT INDEX FINGER...

AND THEN PUTS HIS RIGHT HAND UP TO HIS HEAD...
AND HE STARTS TALKING...INTO HIS HAND!

WHEN THE MAN STOPS TALKING,
THE BARTENDER ASKS HIM~
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR HAND...
LIKE THAT..?
ON YOUR FACE LIKE THAT..??
TALKING INTO IT...LIKE THAT..???

THE GUY THEN ANSWERS THE BARTENDER~

"A WHILE BACK I WAS HIT BY LIGHTNING...
AND EVER SINCE...
FROM THAT DAY ON...
MY HAND BECAME A CELL PHONE"..!!!

THE BARTENDER SAYS~
"NO WAY!!...THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE..!!!
OH!.. YOUR SO FULL OF IT..!!!

SO THE GUY SAYS~
"IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME,
...TELL ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER
AND I WILL DIAL IT.
THE BARTENDER SAYS, "DIAL 651 483 5877"

THE GUY PUNCHES HIS RIGHT HAND AGAIN
USING HIS LEFT INDEX FINGER...
AND THEN QUICKLY REACHES OUT HIS RIGHT
HAND ACROSS THE BAR..
TO THE BARTENDERES FACE...
AND THE BARTENDER LEANS FORWARD...
WITH THE GUYS HAND NEXT TO HIS EAR.

TO HIS AMAZEMENT THE BARTENDER HEARS A RINGING SOUND...
BARTENDER'S KID ANSWERS...
AND THE BARTENDER ASKED HIS KID TO PUT HIS MOTHER ON THE PHONE.
BARTENDER THEN CONTINUES TALKING INTO THE MANS HAND TO HIS WIFE
AND THEN SAYS GOODBYE TO HER.

BARTENDER LEANS BACK AND SAYS TO THE BAR PATRON~
!!.HOLY SMOKES.!! NOW I HAVE SEEN EVERTHING..!!
I JUST SPOKE TO THE WIFE AND KID ON YOUR HAND...
THAT HAND OF YOURS REALLY IS A CELL PHONE..!!
!!WOW!!...!!!AMAZING!!!

THE BARTENDER POURS HIMSELF A DRINK ...
AND GETS THE GUY ANOTHER BUD LITE AND SAYS~
"THIS ONE IS ON ME!!!

AFTER A FEW DRINKS MORE DRINKS,
THE GUY AND THE BARTENDER ARE BOTH GETTING A LITTLE HAPPY
AND BOTH ARE FEELING A LITTLE TIPSY.

THE GUY ANNOUNCES THAT HE HAS TO TAKE A PISS!!!
AND THE GUY GETS OUT OF HIS BARSTOOL AND GOES INTO THE BATHROOM.

TWO OTHER GUYS COME IN TO THE BAR...
AND THE BARTENDER ASKS THE TWO MEN...
IF THEY HAVE EVER MET THIS GUY BEFORE WHOSE HAND IS A CELL PHONE.

THE TWO GUYS LOOK AT EACH OTHER WITH SURPRISED FACES
AND THEN SAY TO THE BARTENDER IN DISBELIEF
"NO WAY!...IMPOSSIBLE!...YOU'RE SO FULL OF IT"!

THE BARTENDER TELLS THEM~
OK...IF THEY DO NOT BELIEVE IT...JUST WAIT... UNTIL HE COMES OUT OF THE BATHROOM...
AND HE WILL BE HAPPY TO PROVE IT TO YOU BOTH.
+ THEN YOU WILL SEE FOR YOURSELVES.

AFTER ABOUT 15 MINUTES....
THE GUY STILL HAS NOT COME OUT OF THE MENS ROOM.

SO THE BARTENDER GOES IN TO CHECK ON HIM.

WHEN THE BARTENDER GOES INTO THE BATHROOM
...HE SEES THE GUY STANDING THERE...
...WITH HIS PANTS DOWN AROUND HIS ANKLES...
...TOILET PAPER ROLLING OUT OF HIS BUTT!!!

THE BARTENDER HOLLERS OUT...
!!!"WHAT THE !!(BLEEP)!!ARE YOU DOING..!!??!!

THE GUY SAYS,
!!"HOLD ON A SECOND"!!

!!!"NOT NOW"!!!

!!!!"I'M GETTING A FAX"!!!!


Become a member to create a blog