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dirty joke No # 1
dirty joke No # 1
The Perfect Husband
A friend of mine told me about this new Husband Shopping Center where a woman could go to choose from among many men for her husband. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rule was once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place.
So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find a man as a prospective husband.
First floor, the door had a sign saying : "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and say "Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up". So up they go.
Second floor says: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking" Hmmm, say the girls. But, I wonder what's further up?
Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." Wow! say the women. Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up! And up they go.
Fourth floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak." Oh, mercy me. But just think! What must be awaiting us further on!
So up to the Fifth floor they go.
The sign on that door said: "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please."
A man and a woman are sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane. The woman sneezes, takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders quite violently in her seat.
The man isn't sure why she is shuddering and goes back to reading. A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders quite violently in her seat.
The man is becoming more and more curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders violently again.
The man has finally had all he can handle. He turns to the woman and says, "Three times you've sneezed and three times you've taken a tissue and wiped your nose then shuddered violently! Are you sending me signals, or are you going crazy?"
The woman replies, "I'm sorry if I disturbed you. I have a rare condition and when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
The man, now feeling a little embarrassed but even more curious says, "I've never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?"
The woman looks at him and says, "Pepper."
Poem Title: For the *unknown* one
I’m falling fast
For someone I don’t know
What’s going on inside me head?
Are the feelings starting to show?
Do I truly want this?
Is it worth the pain?
My heart WILL get broken
But what will I gain?
Maybe an awesome friend…
Who will never let me down
Maybe someone that will always care
Someone that won’t make me frown
I guess there’s only one way to know
Only one thing left to do
I have to convince everyone
That all I want or need is you
You have to be accepted
But the ones that care for me
Although I don’t care what they think
Maybe they’ll see what I see
I picture you as amazing
With a heart pure as gold
You’re slightly older… no big deal
You’re about everything I’ve been told
You talk to me like an equal
Like you’ve know me in and out
I’ve talked to you when I felt like shit
And you stopped me for starting to shout
Please don’t get freaked by this
I know it seems a little strange
I like the relationship that we have
And I don’t want anything to change
Poem Title: Temporary insanity
What just happened,
did you just kiss me?
Because that’s a place
we’ve never been until now
And I don’t know how
it’s going to be after this
Do we pretend these feelings
don’t exist at all?
Or do we fall?
Its temporary insanity
What’s going on with you and me?
Is it real or is it just fantasy
Forever or just temporary insanity.
©2005 Kat luvs Marc
12/20/2005 5:03 pm
12/20/2005 5:34 pm
woo hoo # 1!|