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dirty joke 43
dirty joke 43
A virile, young Italian gentleman was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome, when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment,
and after some small talk,they retired to his bedroom and made love.
After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile,"So...you finish?"
She paused for a second, frowned and admitted, "No."
Surprised, the young man reached for her and the love making resumed.
This time she thrashes about wildly and there are screams of passion. The lovemaking ends, and again, the young man smiles, and again he asks, "You finish?"
And again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him, and softly says, "No."
Stunned, but damned if this woman is going to outlast him, the young man reaches for the woman again. Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they climax simultaneously, screaming,
bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets.
The exhausted man falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly, and asks again, "You finish?"
Barely able to speak, she whispers in his ear, "No! I Danish."
A Haunted Marriage
An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.
The old woman would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
Neighbors feared her They believed she practiced blackmagic because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood.
The old woman liked the fact that she was feared. To everyone's relief, she died of a heart attack when she was 68.
He had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, he went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.
His neighbors, concerned for his safety, asked,
"Aren't you afraid that she may indeed be able to dig her way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The Man put down his drink and said, "Let her dig.
I had her buried upside down......."
The owner of a gasoline station in Tattnall County, Georgia was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a billboard showing "FREE SEX WITH FILL-UP!"
Soon a local young man, Jim filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.
The owner told him "pick a number froom 1 to 10; if you pick the right number, you will get your free sex." Jim picked the numner 8, and the gas station owner said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."
A week later Jim, along with his buddy Bill, pulled into the station. Jim filled his gas tank, and again asked for his free sex. The station owner gave him the same story again, and asked him to guess a
number. This time, Jim guessed 2. The station owner said, "Sorry, the correct number was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."
As they were driving away from the gasoline station, Jim said to Bill, "I think that game is rigged, and he doesn't really give away free sex."
Bill replied, "No it ain't rigged Jim. My wife won twice last week."
Poem Title: unseen friend
Today we started our friendship, a Friendship that is true it's what I've found in you….. Know I can depend on you, I can trust all you do, with a shoulder to comfort me you cause these eyes of mine to see…..
Friend, thank you for being there, no other person can match you, Mere words cannot describe. The many qualities you show, the love and caring nature that you share with those who know. Your kind and gentle temperament, your sweet angelic smile, your softly spoken sentiments, that reaches across the miles to me.
I struggle and I search to try to find some words anew ...And yet I cannot capture
all the things that make you. I shall therefore, be satisfied that you must simply know, Just how I feel about you, for with words I cannot show.
The relationship me and you share is most important than of all I care .We have a bond that no one can break we’re always there for each other no matter what will happen.
You listen to me as if I'm the most interesting person you've known
I believe we've shown each other the greatest friendship to ever know of,
Because only we know the true meaning of friends I thank you, because this friendship will always live to stay true.
I'm sending off this mail to you just to say I'm thankful for everything you do………
Thinking about You Today!
12/27/2005 3:38 pm
giggles @ buried upside down |