a few more jokes to end the day with  

rm_longliner002 49M
166 posts
8/14/2006 7:08 pm
a few more jokes to end the day with

Beer Versus Pussy
It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy...

A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
advantage: Tie

If you get a hair in your teeth
consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy

Too much head makes you mad at the
person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is
still edible.
Advantage: Beer.

If you come home smelling like beer,
your wife may get mad. If you come home
smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer.

6 beers in a night and you better not
drive. 6 pussies in a night and you
have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
Advantage: Tie

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath,
you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath,
you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pussy
With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.
Wearing a condom does not make a beer
any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.
Pussy can make you see God. Beer can
make you see the porcelain god.
Advantage: Pussy
If you think all day about the next pussy
you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer,
you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy
Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy.
If you try to snag a beer at work,
you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy
at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
Advantage: Tie
If you suddenly drop a beer, it may
break. If you suddenly drop a pussy,
it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.
If you change to another beer, your
old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: Beer.
The best pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.
The worst pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.
Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Tie
Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead,
Pete's Wicked Winter Brew.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage Pussy.
The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.
Little Johnny is nine years old and is sitting at the dinner table with his parents. Suddenly he announces,"Me and Janie are going to married!"
"Oh?" Says the mother. "And how old is Janie?"
"Ten," Replies the boy.
"Well," Says the father,"What are you goin to do for money?"
"I get fifteen cents a week allowance," says Johnny, "And Janie gets ten cents. We figured if we put it together we would be okay."
"I see," says the father."But what are you going to do if you have children?"
"Well," says Johnny,"So far we have been lucky."

Q: Why do men love cars more than women?
A: Because a car's more f**kin' likely to turn over in a morning!
Q: What insect can give you aids?
A: An asshopper.
Q: What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A: A pool table.
Q: What is 68?
A: You do me and I owe you one.

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?
Little Johnny replied, "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself."

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO Hmmmmm.........................
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why do you pay tolls on the freeway?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
If a blind person takes LSD, would they see things, or just think they see things?

There once was a girl named Jill
Who used dynamite for a thrill
They found her vagina
In South Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil

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