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a few jokes
a few jokes
"Hey, Mom," asked Little Johnny, "can you give me twenty dollars?"
"Certainly not," she said.
"If you do," he went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."
His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money.
"Well? What did he say?"
"He said, 'Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.'"
A Vehicle Inspection
I had moved to South Carolina from New York, and at that time a vehicle inspection was required to register my car.
I was nervous; my car was in rough shape. I thought of New York State's rigorous inspections. Any number of problems might turn up that would be expensive to fix. I drove down a country road and found a garage that had an inspection sign. When I told the mechanic what I needed, he circled
the car, turned on the lights and honked the horn. Then he attached a new sticker and asked me for the three-dollar fee.
I was shocked. "Is that all you have to do?" I asked.
He answered, "Well, you drove it here, didn't you?"
A Bouquet of Flowers
When I go to a local discount store to get oil and filters for my car, I buy my wife a bouquet of flowers on display near the checkout counter.
During one trip, some women in line behind me were oohing and aahing about a husband getting flowers for his wife.
"How often do you do that?" one asked. Before I could answer, the cashier, more than familiar with my routine, said, "Every three months or 3,000 miles, whichever comes first."