Take the words back  

rm_longliner002 50M
166 posts
1/7/2006 12:06 pm

Last Read:
7/16/2006 5:41 pm

Take the words back


Take the words back
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back....or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few women who did...

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who work at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my Sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me was screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a particular question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so, of course, I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then, I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled, "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow -- but don't get any....a true story.

We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

mnecouple 42M/44F
14 posts
1/7/2006 1:19 pm

Those are great! I think the news anchor one is an urban myth, because I've heard it a couple of times now...

*m*


rm_longliner002 50M
227 posts
1/7/2006 5:04 pm

Glad you liked the post


spoldrtn812 51F  
1056 posts
1/8/2006 10:40 am

I live in MIchigan and I saw the broadcast it was funnier than hell!! almost as funny as the news anchor doing a janet jackson wardrobe error at the March of dimes walk last year!!

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rm_longliner002 50M
227 posts
1/8/2006 1:56 pm

HI spoldrtn812
i wish I WOULD HAVE SAW THAT ONE


rm_jynxgurl 29F
209 posts
1/8/2006 7:21 pm

lmfao!!! omg soo funny!! embarassing thing is that i have made mistakes like those first few many many times, only I dont realize it till people start laughing then I have to go through a mental checklist in my head to figure out wat i said this time. Once my friends decided to pull a prank and spontaniously started laughing for no reason, I had no idea what was going one and went through my list multiple times and couldnt come up with anything and tried asking, which made them laugh harder, after awhile they told me though, and I had to laugh to, after I had gotten my revenge of course ^_^ hehe revenge is sweet... great post, funny as hell!!!


rm_longliner002 50M
227 posts
1/8/2006 11:02 pm

jynxgurl I do the same thing too.Im glad you like the post.


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