Joke: Viagra Wife Diary  

rm_longliner002 50M
166 posts
1/3/2006 6:28 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Joke: Viagra Wife Diary

Joke: Viagra Wife Diary
This is the private diary of a Viagra housewife...
Day 1
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.
Day 2
Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me something I don't know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed.
Day 3
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of Nelson's Column and burst into tears.
Day 4
A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix his 'problem'. It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.
Day 5
What absolute bliss!!
Day 6
Isn't life wonderful but it's difficult to write while he's doing that.
Day 7
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him. But, have to admit it's very nice - I don't think I've ever been so happy.
Day 8
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed wacker. I'm also getting a bit sore down there.
Day 9
No time to write. He might catch me.
Day 10
Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. And to make matters worse, he's washing the Viagra down with neat whisky! What am I going to do? I feel tacky all over....
Day 11
I'm basically being screwed to death. It's like living with a Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Even my armpits hurt. He's a complete pig.
Day 12
I wish he was gay. I've stopped wearing make-up, cleaning my teeth or even washing but he still keeps coming after me! Even yawning has
become dangerous...
Day 13
Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that "Oops, sorry" thing again, I'll kill the bastard.
Day 14
I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started dressing like a nun but this just seems to make him more horny. Help me!
Day 15
I think I'll have to kill him. I'm starting to stick to everything I sit on. The cat and dog won't go near him and our friends don't come over any more. Last night I told him to go and screw himself and he did.
Day 16
The bastard has started to complain about headaches. I hope the bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the Viagra and going back on Prozac.
Day 17
Switched the pills but it doesn't seem to have made any difference...Christ! Here he comes again!
Day 18
He's back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in front of the TV all day with that remote control in his hand and expects me to do everything for him. What absolute bliss!

Joke: Crying Donkey
A guy walks into a Bar and looks at a sign on the wall that reads: $50 if you make my donkey laugh!
The guy thinks he can do it, so he goes out back to the donkey, to try his luck.
A few minutes later the bar owner goes and sees his donkey laughing his guts out.
The barman goes over to the man and says how did you do it.
The man replies. "I can't tell you it's a secret, just give me my $50 bucks.
The next day this same guy goes back the bar, and finds another sign that reads: $50 if you make my donkey cry
Again, the man thinks he can do it, so back he goes out to the donkey.
A short time later, the bar owner now finds his donkey balling it's eyes out.
"How did you do that" The bar keep demands.
The man says. "I really shouldn't tell you, but since your going to pay me another $50 dollars, what the heck".
"It was really very simple to make your donkey laugh, I told him that I had a bigger penis than he did".
"To make him cry, I proved it"!!!

Poem Title: So Good
When I think of you, only one thing comes to mind,
how good you make feel each and every time.
You are so modest in everything you do,
what I feel for you has to be true.
There's no other way to describe the man for me,
it didn't take me long to open my eyes and see.
When we make love you are so good,
you love me like no one else could.
In any relationship that has a future,
there is going to be a lot of pressure.
Sometimes you have to take the bad with the good,
but with you, the bad is sooo good.
©2005 jeannie dob


silkysmoothlegs3 105F

1/3/2006 12:36 pm

Are you hung like a donkey

Love that poem babes

silky


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