Dirty Joke NO#101  

rm_longliner002 50M
166 posts
12/22/2005 6:13 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Dirty Joke NO#101

A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...
'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'
She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."
So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"
Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"

Three sisters wanted to get married, but their parents couldn't afford it so they had all of them on the same day. They also couldn't afford to go on a honeymoon so they all stayed home with their new hubbies. That night the mother got up because she couldn't sleep.

When she went past her oldest daughter's room she heard screaming. Then she went to her second daughters room and she heard laughing. Then she went to her youngest daughter's room and she couldn't hear anything.

The next morning when the men left the mother asked her oldest daughter, "Why were you screaming last night?" The daughter replied "Mom you always told me if something hurt I should scream."
"That's true." She looked at her second daughter. "Why were you laughing so much last night?"
The daughter replied "Mom you always said that if something tickled you should laugh."
"That's also true." Then the mother looked at her youngest daughter. "Why was it so quiet in your room last night?"
The youngest daughter replied "Mom you always told me I should never talk with my mouth full."

Company
by Tina K
Where are you going, where have you been?
My dear, close, and quiet friend,
As we sit in the soft springtime Saturday's end
Taking comfort in each other once again.
Tell me your stories and I'll tell you mine;
And so we will pass a few hours time
With the quaint and the comic and even sublime -
Silently searching for that elusive sign.
We'll fashion the future and polish the past,
Allowing the memories to amass;
While the grains of sand slip through the glass
'Til a tranquil lull pervades at last.
Conversation fades with the eve's golden light,
We cannot go on, try though we might;
So you gather me an embrace so tight,
And we wistfully, longingly say goodnight

And a couple poems

Forbidden
by Todd Fulton
Forbidden pleasures
Who makes the rules
Unfound treasures
And beautiful jewels
Can that line be crossed
What could we truly be
And at what cost
Do you see what I see
I know there is more there
Waiting to be found
Can you feel how much I care
I feel like I'm being drowned
If you knew the amount of desire
That I feel for you
My burning fire
That wants one to become two
Forbidden pleasures
Who makes the rules
Unfound treasures
And beautiful jewels

The Viking
by Shannon
A powerful radiance is felt instantly.
Flames of passion dance in his eyes.
He makes my heart ache with desire.
His words are music to my soul
That fill me with love and longing.
His mind holds the wisdom of the ancients.
His heart holds compassion and love.
His lips hold a promise of sensual delights.
His arms provide security and warmth.
He is as humble as a beggar on the street,
Yet as noble as a Viking chief.
There is a sense of mystery about him;
But his life, he has opened for me to see.
He is truly a beautiful and amazing man;
He is the best of all my dreams.
I will love him throughout eternity.
With not part, but with all that is me.


spoldrtn812 51F  
1056 posts
12/22/2005 3:47 pm

It's offical you must get a link in my next blog!!!
LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE!! THANK YOU DR. LONGLINER!!!

Please, Sign my Guestbook Screw me!


silkysmoothlegs3 105F

12/23/2005 5:48 pm

These are wonderful
My attempt at jokes is very poor when i read these
silky


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