A woman goes into a tattoo parlor  

rm_longliner002 50M
166 posts
12/18/2005 4:12 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh, right up just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey.
So the guy does it and it comes out looking real good.
The woman then instructs him to put a Santa Clause with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh. So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too.
As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist says, "If you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?"
She said, "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."

Wedding Anniversary
Two guys are in a bar. they find out they have the same wedding anniversary.
One asks the other "what did you get your wife for your anniversary?"
The other man replied," A Jag and a Mercedes."
"wow that weird why both?"
"Well if she doesn't like driving the jag she can drive the Mercedes. What did you get your wife?"
"A pair of slippers and a vibrator."
"wow that's really weird why?"
"well if she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself!"

Bodybuilder and the Blonde
A body builder picks up a blonde at a bar and takes her home with him.
He takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a great chest you have."
The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby."
He takes off his pants and the blonde says, "What massive calves you have."
The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby."
He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.
The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.
The blonde replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was."

And a few poems
Poem Title: A Dream To Reality
Close your eyes and open a dream
Dream in which we together are alone
You are stealing my heart with your magical eyes
And leading me to the world full of romance and love
Your tender look
Your slender body
And your silky blonde hair
Oh may darling I’m getting out of my mind
Because you are so near
I touch your fiery lips
With my fingertips
You bite it in a way
As you want something to play
I gaze into your wanted eyes
N’ understand your demand
I hold your hand and pull you closer
As you are at my command
I undress you and you cannot move a muscle
I’m trying to hold that moment
Now I’ve a tussle
Then I caress your mysterious body and give your breast a lick
The time is passing very swiftly with every single tick
I can hold this dream for long
As you are still with me
But this dream has to over for now
Cause’ I will enjoy it is reality!
©2005 M.Ghayas Khan


An itch to be scratched -
A lust unmatched -
An empty bed -
"Let's go!" she said.
And on the summer's afternoon
we loved until we saw the moon.

Exhausted, laying there exposed
upon my belly, I proposed
she scratch my back to top it off -
and soon she did, so soft, so soft.

Nails as sharp as 'Wiltshires' creep
like slugs upon a compost heap
across my sweaty skin until
I feel an itch she can't quite kill.
"Just up a bit." She hears me say.
"Down a bit...the other way.
rise up
And am moved to flights of fancy.
So I fly to you, fair nightbird.
I am transported to northwest land,Up a tad. You've gone askew.
Slide across a touch or two.
A little harder. Damn it! Swat it!
Keep going, yes, you've almost got it.
Listen woman, can't you tell.
You're nowhere near it. Bloody Hell!”
I fling my body in the air
and land atop the carpet bare
Grinding hard upon my back
searching for a pointy tac
to give me what I really need -
a decent scratch that makes me bleed
Bewildered, she is staring down,
as losing it, I go to town.
Raising up my back, I arch it,
slamming hard down on the carpet.
My body parts are flicking, hectic,
like I'm turning epileptic.
A book! A knife! A nice high heel!
Give me something I can feel
But suddenly, like when it reared,
my itch just vanished...disappeared.
I rose, so pleased, my love to tell
and found that she was gone as well.
The door was slammed, the lock was latched.
Our race was run...and I was scratched!
Copyright; Marco Gliori


There to rest with you.
There, with you, I rest, I sleep,
My face nestled against your breasts,
My arms around your waist.
I sleep, I smile.
Let me feel your woman's embrace.
Hold me! Hold me!

silkysmoothlegs3 105F

12/18/2005 5:50 pm

your to funny
were do u get them
or how on earth do you rem them
silky xx

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