What do women really expect from the first date?  

rm_lagano 51M
395 posts
4/26/2006 7:06 pm

Last Read:
4/28/2006 3:58 am

What do women really expect from the first date?

This was inspired by virtualgirl81008 post [post 319188] which got me too thinking what do women really expect from the first date?

So virtualgirl's blog is about feeling compelled to have sex with a guy even though she didn't really want to because she felt the guy expected sex and she wondered what guys really expected from the date, and was the compulsion in her mind or real.

Now I would say here and now that I believe there is a big difference between HOPE and EXPECTATION. I think every guy goes on every date HOPING for sex but not necesarily EXPECTING it. Heck even when a guy sees a pretty girl as he crosses the street he hopes for sex but knows the expectation is zero.

In every date I have been on from AdultFriendFinder I think before we met we had defined the expectations for the first date.

They didn't all end up falling within those expectations however, she says "can we go somewhere and fool around", Sid replies "but I thought you said it was just for a drink?", she says "yes, but I've changed my mind now", women!

Generally though whether sex was or was not a reasonable expectation for the first date was usually fairly clear to both before meeting.

In fact I think an important part of setting up the first meet on AdultFriendFinder is defining the limits. Sometimes its a bit awkward, you can't really come straight out and say "so we're going shag right?" but usually in the conversation you can sort of box round the issue and figure it out "so this is just for a coffe right?".

If you've got the expectations set then you avoid all the potential pitfalls. He won't be upset when nothing happens if it's clear that nothing was going to happen anyway. I would imagine that if its clearly just a chat and nothing more you can always then decide later at home whether to take it further, easier to reject a guy online than face to face if you are worried about that type of problem.

So what are your expectations for the first date?

Do you have it clear what the limits are?

And do you believe in chatting to get to know the other person before meeting or do you use the first date to really find out about whether this is the right person?

Passionata88 49F

4/27/2006 9:50 pm

Could it be that you would be looking at a less perfect person perfectly??

rm_lagano replies on 4/27/2006 10:55 pm:
In some respects yes and in some respect no.

To some extent this is like SilkDitty's the next person will be even more perfect, so I can see that to some extent, though for me personally I don't find that is the case.

But on the other hand for me personally the issue would be more that having achieved the goal you find that actually it doesn't really interest you, it wasn't what you had wanted despite it being your original target, over time you start to unwrap the layers, to uncover what "it" is that you real seek.

"To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield"
Thats where the frustration and dissapointment lies.

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