Trouble with No Shows  

rm_lagano 51M
395 posts
5/1/2006 5:17 pm

Last Read:
5/15/2006 5:53 am

Trouble with No Shows

Just wondered how big a problem "no shows" really is.

I mean you contact someone on AdultFriendFinder, you decide to meet whether just for a meet and greet or something more, you arrive for the rendezvous and the other person fails to turn up.

I was just reading a couple of blogs about this problem and I was curious of whether it has affected you.

I will say that I have been on AdultFriendFinder for some 8 years and in that time only once have I had one no show.

It was a couple, it was supposed to be a meet and greet sort of things but they never showed. After trying to contact them for a few days finally they replied and said the husband had collapsed and was taken to hospital with food poisoning or something and said they would rearrange a meeting after a week. As you might guess no meeting was ever fixed up and there profile disappeared.

So what is you experience, been stood up, had someone do a "no show" on you?

If they did, did they give you an explanation or did they just no longer contact you?

rm_mmmgoodnova 105M/105F
1259 posts
5/1/2006 6:00 pm

We had a married guy not show up for a meeting over drinks...oh well...had a nice dinner with my husband instead. I sent him an e-mail afterwards just politely inquiring if he'd had a change of heart or would like to reschedule; never heard back, saw him online later...guess he got cold feet, no big deal but the polite thing would have been for him to let us know beforehand. Other than that people have seemed to be legit...for the most part. Some are too legit and straightforward with what they're looking for and scare me, actually.

rm_lagano replies on 5/1/2006 6:31 pm:
I agree with you, be polite and just say sorry have changed my mind, people aren't going to bite your head off (well maybe just a little if you left them sitting there for an hour lol).

Ha yes the problem of what to say, too polite/vague and no one knows what you mean, too straight and people think your a freak lol. Can be hard to get the balance right. I often take the key from how the profile of the person I am contacting is written, if they are blunt then I will reply bluntly, if they are more into euphanism's then reply in kind but that doesnt always work as some do write profile that are quite the opposite of what they are looking for or there profie leaves you clueless.

49AK 55M
1823 posts
5/1/2006 6:04 pm

I hear a lot of complaints about no-shows, but for the most part, I have not had the problem.

rm_lagano replies on 5/1/2006 6:32 pm:
Yes same here.

The two I read that prompted this involved people SMS'ing whilst on the way to the meet but never turned up.

rm_pagan380 64M
4405 posts
5/1/2006 6:33 pm

I've got no complaints, all the ladies I've met have been very good about time and place. I had my doubts about meetings at first but now I think I usually know the person fairly well from email before we ever get around to meeting.

Come play naked in the sunshine and dance naked under the stars.


rm_lagano replies on 5/2/2006 4:30 am:
Pagan I think its the Beaver that does it, all women are just dieing to try out 350hp vibrator so no one would be a no show.

rm_teacherant 41M
28 posts
5/1/2006 9:42 pm

I've yet to meet anyone from AdultFriendFinder actually, but concerning other online chats which moved into real life encounters, I've had only 1 person not show up.

I guess for me the biggest issues have been that the person showing up and I just didn't click in real life as much as online.


rm_lagano replies on 5/2/2006 4:20 am:
I think not clicking is to be expected at least some of the time, and saying you dont want to take it further is of course reasonable.

Issues more lies with leaving someone sitting by themselves in a bar for an hour or so not knowing what is going on, then it becomes frustrating, embarrassing, worrying.

Especially with mobile phones today it would be bad but at least something if they at least SMS and said "sorry not going turn up"

Passionata88 49F

5/2/2006 10:10 am

I've not had any problems with no shows, thank goodness for that. I do think that if someone changes their mind at the last moment, then it is only polite to let you know with a simple phone call. An apology by e-mail is also considerate. I don't think many people are going to explain why they didn't show up unless they are genuinely interested or had reasons not to show up.

Obviously, there are times when you can get along just as well on line, but if there is no chemistry then you would not wish to take it further. Unless, you do not mind remaining friends and I see no problem with that. Though everyone has their own perspective.

I choose to be selective about meeting and I do not rush into it. I'd rather take my time and get to know someone first.

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
5/3/2006 6:57 am

i have had no problem ,i and them always show up

I'm a

i'm here to stay

rm_lagano replies on 5/3/2006 8:30 pm:
Butt I wonder why?
Well seems so afr not so many effected by this, though that is small consolation if it happens to you I guess ...

rm_sexxielynn 52F
72 posts
5/3/2006 8:04 pm

I have just finished posting a bitter blog on two no-shows!!
I am not too bad though. I did have a great dinner tonight, enjoyed some wine and a personal chat with the sommelier (not sure of spelling - the wine guy) but it so annoying to be on the receiving end of that. I've never and never will stand anyone up. It's all about manners.

rm_lagano replies on 5/3/2006 8:39 pm:
I agree with you on the manners.

Its such a simple thing to at least call and say your not going to be there.

Glad you at least made something of the evening, though personally can't imagine much worse than being left sitting by yourself in a restaurant every minute expecting someone to turn up..

rm_rareview 40F
568 posts
5/4/2006 12:15 am

i guess it is how carefully you interact before the meeting takes place.

If properly screened it goes well.


rm_lagano replies on 5/4/2006 3:45 am:
I agree with you it is important to check peopel out before you meet, but I don't think that that always will ensure there is no problem.

From the people who have had these problems and even in the one case I had everything seemed fine the people were nice it was all going well, and in one case a woman even had the guy sending her SMS he was on the way but he never showed up.

I think if someone wants to play games like this really no amount of checking is going to catch them out.

Of course there will also always be the few who get cold feet at the last moment, but hopefully some of these can be convinced to at least pick up the phone.

2tuff1961 60M/55F

5/14/2006 1:05 pm

so far we have only had one no show but it was a last minute meeting we were going through his town and just wanted to meet he called later and apologized and we still talk on IM so no harm far our encounters have all been very prompt and pleasurable

rm_lagano replies on 5/15/2006 5:58 am:
Well thats good to hear, though it does seem that it may only be a matter of time or just luck, even mmmgoodnova has since blogged about a no show [post 338303] and I have heard of others since then as well.

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