rm_kittycaine 54F
15 posts
7/30/2005 6:35 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


Well I did not write yesterday cuz of feelings. WOW, I have them. And were they on edge yesterday. Some men are so .... narcisitic. Otherwise in love with themselves. What gets me is they don't understand why they are alone. It is like it is my fault. ?????? Well for starters got dumped (I guess that is what it is called even if you have nto met them) because I put it out there too much. Chatted with this guy from Houston for over a month. He was on business in Argentina and was going to fly back and see me prior to surgery. Possibly interested in alittle more than friends. Well because I said retorically, " I wanted to jump the first guy I saw". He lost interest. Referred to me as a weekend romp. Well ya know what is wrong with this picture? We had not met and I am to wait til he can get here from Houston to have sex so that he can be first. I don't even know him. And he never did come up after his business trip. Then I am talking to a trucker for a month or so. On the phone and on IM. He informs after talking for a month that I do not take care of myself and he does not have to settle for second best because he is good looking. Yet he was complaining about being "home" for 3 days and being alone. Hello what is wrong with this picture? You have been writing and calling me for at least a month and you know when you will be home and you don't ask me to come over instead you get all nasty about me. Essentially tell me that I am not good enough. Add to all this I have a roommate who is an ex lover and alcoholic. He is working his program and he informs me that no way would we get together cuz of the way I live. "The way I LIVE"? Well duh, what about the way he has been living. Another one of those let's be friends cuz you ain't good enough. So either I don't do enough or I do too much. Either way basically I am not good enough. Ya know what that strikes home. My ex never thought that I was good enough either. And made sure I knew that was how he felt about me. Talk about tear down someones self esteem. Well, I am fighting back now that I am done crying and feeling sorry for myself. 1. I am not an internet whore, open to fuck anyone who asks. 2. you are not entitled to control me. 3. If you are truely interested and want monogamy and willing to also up hold that then talk to me about it. I have been monogamous but was the only one in the relationship who was. I enjoy sex and variety. I will never be happy with once in awhile same old sex. So be prepared to meet my needs or don't bother. If you want to have a relationship and share than let's see how we get along and talk terms of the relationship. I want equal rights. If you run around then I wanna run around. If I can only be given away I want some say in it and I want to be able to say who you are given away to. I am tired of being shit on by selfish uncaring assholes. Where are the real men? The ones who have balls, and integrity, and compassion. I here they are out there. Ya know I hear all the time how bad single males have it on here. Well take a look at your attitudes. There is a reason you are single. And most don't even have a girlfriend. Emotional ignorance. My good friend that I discuss all my issues with including this one, informed me that men take advantage of me because I am such a good person. Too willing to please instead of being pleased. He told me men look for women like me cuz I am easy. Well, not anymore. I am going to demand respect. If I don't get it then I am not interested. OK I have said my piece. There are some guys out there that have a heart and I do realize it. I have a couple of male friends that enjoy but they don't treat me like shit or expect to control me. Hello I am soft white and fleshy. I have tits and a pussy. I do take care of myself. I am clean and healthy. I am a pleaser and giver. I love sex. So what is missing? Why am I not good enough? How do I get good enough? Help fix me. I am open to critism if it is of constructive nature not destructive. I want to be the best that I can be for that special someone who wants the same. Is it possible? HELP!!!!!!!!!

lovescout 54M

7/30/2005 4:34 pm

I know men can be such jerks. I like to think I am not a jerk I just speak my mine. I love to help you anyway I acn let me know what you need.

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