Then again, I've been wrong before...  

rm_kiiruma 40F
7 posts
11/12/2005 6:44 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Then again, I've been wrong before...

It's interesting when you find yourself in two totally different situations at the same that could be everything on their own, if allowed to bloom and run a natural course.

One of them is hopeless, but it doesn't stop you from hoping. Even though reality is standing there, right in front of you, blocking the way, it doesn't stop you from standing up on your tiptoes and seeing the potential on the other side.

The other is wide open, sky's the limit. No barriers, it is the reality you were wishing to someday find. Now it's there, big as life, and it terrifies you. You're too afraid to allow yourself to explore it in depth.

They are both passionate, intellectual, charismatic, and completely fun to be around. They both have a tendancy to be romantic, silly, and strong without trying. They are the black sheep, as I am, in their respective families. For all their similarities, they are absolutely nothing like each other. With each, we do have our differences (which have honestly been a relief to discover- otherwise it would be downright spooky). I hate to come off as conceited or egotistical, because I am neither, but it seems that I am the common denominator.

I have never been in a situation like this. It's too late in the game to end the friendships, mainly because I'm selfish and would miss them both in my life. They both fill something in me I thought had been killed a long time ago. But I also know that the dynamics of one situation will have to change, for better or for worse, in order for the other to continue. THAT is something I am not prepared to deal with right now. The safest bet right now seems to ride it out and take it as it comes.

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