I'm horny as a cat in heat  

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
7027 posts
7/5/2006 10:06 pm

Last Read:
7/28/2006 11:07 am

I'm horny as a cat in heat

I originally came to this friendly site because I was horny, and thought it might help me to meet people who could help alleviate that unpleasant condition. And I have met some people here who have, temporarily, done just that.

A young friend of mine has written about her adventures Sarahwilling. I read her blog, and want so badly to just meet someone and screw their ears off, but ...

A friend of mine in Kentucky (this was last fall) met a couple that she met on a sister site to this one, a site more inclined to alternative pleasures. She met them for dinner at a nice restaurant. They were nice, clean cut, witty ... she agreed to go home with them.

When she got to their house, they offered her some wine. She woke up in a dungeon where they tortured her for three days before drugging her again and dumping her. She spent the next three days in the hospital. For personal reasons, she never pressed charges.

When I was in Kentucky, my friend W and I watched each other's backs. For instance, when I met my friend Blue the first time, W knew everything I knew about him - his real name, address, phone number, where we would meet ... We also had three pre-arranged phone calls, where she would call to make sure I was ok and wanted to stay. At other times, she and I accompanied the other for a first meet, sometimes openly, other times as an observer.

After moving across the country, I don't have a friend like that locally. I'm too paranoid to meet someone blind without that assurance, that fall-back plan that could bail me out of a bad situation.

So, how do you deal with these issues? Any suggestions for me? I'm really torn between wanting to be safe, and wanting to be
fucked!!!



rm_smosmof2 67M
3240 posts
7/5/2006 11:18 pm

sounds like a warning against using Alt....she should at least have complained to the site...

was San Diego last weekend or next?

I can't advise on your situation... i came to realize the other night that I've given up on finding any sex contact here. Not that I'm not interested, just that I've given up.

I'll blog and be chummy, maybe even flirt a little. but no coy comments, no expectations

no hope

take what you can get, and enjoy it... it may never come again


Glimmer_Man06 47M
3308 posts
7/5/2006 11:22 pm

Wow, a dungeon? No shit? Heinous!

As for you dear Kelli, I suggest a good Rotweiler as a form of "protection". LOL

You can still have your phone call thing with W, even if it is out of town, she can still make sure you are ok. I am not sure if you have made any really close friends in CO, that you could trust as much as you do W, but I am sure anyone of your aquaintances there would do the same for you(I know I would!).

Next time you stop over in Frankfurt on the way to St. Petersburg, buzz me. I will help you aleviate that pressure and I promise not to lock you up in a dungeon.



They say a woman ages like fine wine...

...mine ages like milk!


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/6/2006 8:20 am:
I'd have to get another apartment for a Rott, and I'm not taking a damn dog down 8 floors every time it needs to go out!

Yeah, I could have her call long distance, across two time zones, but what's she going to do if I need help? Call the police and try to explain where I am when she's never been there? Just real pain ...

Nightguy_1961 55M
4866 posts
7/5/2006 11:36 pm

Kelli,

While it is tragic as to what happened to your friend, the sad truth is that it happens a lot.

What a lot of us in the BDSM community try to do is find out about individuals, couple, groups, etc in different areas so we can put the word out if and when someone asks about someone.

That's the trouble; too many people tell the world, "I'm Sir or Master so and so..." and too many unsuspecting people fall for it, thinking that what these predators are doing is what BDSM Lifestylers do all the time....and it isn't!!!!!!!

My advice to you, my friend, if you are interested in anyone from somewhere not local to you is to find out all you can about that person (I know, common sense).

I wrote an article for the magazine here on AdultFriendFinder....guess I should post it with my humble suggestions.

btw, I got your emails.....but having some troubles with the system at the moment....I'll get in touch with you later...

NG61...slipping back into the darkness....


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/6/2006 12:11 am:
Yeah, email is down.

The meet was for an alternative fetish, not BDSM. That's what really scared me about it.

Wordsmith2004 36M
7233 posts
7/5/2006 11:47 pm

"I read her blog, and want so badly to just meet someone and screw their ears off, but ..."

E-GAAD lady, you are kinky! lol

"When I was in Kentucky, my friend W and I watched each other's backs."

I didn't think you and ol' "Dubya" were on speaking terms lol

Okay seriously what I would sugest is something out of my own playbook (and no not my latest blog entry) if you have a public place/coffee shop whatever, where you regularly hang out, try making friends with a female employee who works there...someone that looks like you might have something in common with.

It doesn't have to be anything majorish, just so that you know each other well enough that she can help you keep an eye on things...give you another set of eyes and another opinion on the guy you're out with.

If you have a place you regualarly frequent and a few employees as friends it should help you to better weed out the undercover stinkers.

Wow...not as dumb as he looks!"

Conserve Water and Prevent Global Warming: Shower With A MILF!


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/6/2006 12:14 am:
Yeah, that's ok for a first meet, but that's not when the weird things normally happen. I think most women set first meets in places like starbucks or a bookstore or something like that.

Notfunanymore 105F
10289 posts
7/6/2006 12:54 am

I have friends here, but I just won't do it anymore.
~~ If I come back home, I'll be your lookout!!!
Stay safe until then, K.


reverend21 49M
1913 posts
7/6/2006 12:54 am

sometimes you have to take a chance


rm_pleasuresex3 52M
520 posts
7/6/2006 1:13 am

I have read about your past awful experiences in your marriage, so I think I understand why the safety issue is top of the list with you.

I have also read sarahwilling's blog entry, "sex under the mantis condition".

I'm guessing here that you want to follow her example and set up a meet at a nice hotel (or somewhere else deemed safe)? I know this may sound very business like and take away all the exitement from an encounter, but what about hiring a person from a suitable agency to hang around the lobby for protection?

That is if what you really want now is to screw the socks off a handsome stranger for 3 or 4 hours.


JuicyBBW1001 54F

7/6/2006 1:19 am

I agree with Wordsmith. Trust your gut reaction to the man when you meet him for the first time. If your gut says run then run and don't look back. If you geninuely like the guy set another date for another not so public place but public enough for if things got outta hand you would be heard by others.
I understand the need for toe curling sex but safety should always rule. I made the mistake once of meeting a man for breakfast from this site and I knew he wasn't my kind of guy but I let him drive me home anyway and thought he would just drop me off. I was wrong when I got to the door and told him thanks for breakfast he forced his way into my apartment. He was rubbing all over me and shit and making me totally uncomfortable in my own home. Finally I told him after he didn't get the clues that if he didn't leave I would call the police and have him arrested for home invasion. He left and I have only seen him once since then at a meet and greet and the hair on the back of my neck stood up.
Good luck finding that safety net kelli.

Juicy


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/6/2006 8:16 am:
I never, never, let a man take me home. Even after dating for 3 months, my friend Blue never had my address when we lived in the same town. I always went to his place. Paranoid? Yeah, but it's a lot easier to leave than to evict.

PurplePeach72 44F  
9199 posts
7/6/2006 1:29 am

Hey Kelli,
Great post, and Nightguy wrote a great post in responce. There are ways to still be safe, like asking around on the site, the phone safety net works even if the friend isn't in town. It is possible jsut hang in there and get your safety nets up then things will fall into place. So sorry about your friend.
{=}LeeAnn
PS
I recommend Great Danes or Mastiffs insead of Rottiweilers, they are bigger, more ferious looking and sounding but very lazy couch potato dogs...lol


Kisses,
LA


rm_acer57 59M
124 posts
7/6/2006 1:39 am

I've found the Meet & Greets to be the best. Usually they start in the chat rooms here and you get to know a couple of the personalities before the bunch gets together. Women trade notes like mad, of course, and very soon you will have several men and women who will have your back. If you find someone from outside the room, you can make the M&G the first meeting place.

Other advantages are that you meet several at once, you can 'head back to your friends' if there is no spark, and you can leave when you want without offending anyone.

Unfortunately, wackos are everywhere.


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/6/2006 8:23 am:
I've been invited to a couple of parties here by a group from this site, but I don't know ANYBODY. I've met enough weird women in my life that I don't automatically trust someone because of gender.

rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
7/6/2006 2:13 am

i fortunately have my husband who knows all the details, phones me etc. but nothing is ever going to be 100% safe -- even if you met someone say thru work, thru friends etc. someone could still slip something in your drink. it is one of the unfortunate things we have to live with. i do think you could still use your friend in the way of phonecalls -- no one you meet would know they are out of town -- you just tell them you are going to get three random phone calls from a friend to make sure you are safe - that keeps them on their toes.

i do wish this site had a place where we could tell others about bad experiences we had with people we met, as in the 25 or so men i've met, i had one that i would want to warn others about if i could.

also you could decide never, ever to go to someone's house ... as if your friend had gone back to a hotel with them, she would not have been locked in a dungeon! i know a hotel is still not 100% safe, but at least you know there's a lot of people around!



[blog freelove999]


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/6/2006 8:26 am:
Yes, I completely agree with what you've said. There is a blog for abusive emails, but I don't think for scary people. I was chatting with a friend last night, and she mentioned a bad meet, said the guy frightened her.

EroticaXTC 49F

7/6/2006 3:42 am

that's a god-awful thing to have happen to anyone, regardless of what they thought they were going into...
Both Night and Gman gave good responses...
but me, personally, I gave up on the sex-finding part of this site a long long time ago...leaving it up to natural occurrence
..and I kind of came to the conclusion that I don't want to travel all over the place just to have sex with someone who I may never see again...LOL...a bit lazy, I know


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/6/2006 8:29 am:
I have always said in my profile that I'm only looking for LOCAL contacts. It seems most people don't know the definition of that word. Even the idea of having to drive 50-60 miles to get laid is just a hassle. I want someone I can spend time with, go to the park with, have lunch, or just some ice cream, without making an expedition out of it.

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
7/6/2006 5:07 am

Hey, it doesn't matter who you leave the information with. It can be someone thousands of miles away, as long as you see them online every day.

For added protection, I always leave a note on the refrigerator, should I disappear and they come looking for me. I also leave everything I know about a person, right down to handle, with people who will miss me, even if I'm offline a day. They all have my phone number, so they can check up on me.

Once upon a time, they didn't have my number. Which leads to an amusing story...

I met someone from one of the chat rooms, who liked to put on a dangerous front. Friends told me, be careful. No one was around as I was getting ready to go, except for two friends... One in Australia, one in New Zealand.

A few days earlier, a friend tried to install a new video card in the POS computer I had at the time. There were problems. The original video card was part of the motherboard. We finally got the new card to work. For two days. Then I was stuck in 16 glorious colors. We were trying to fix the conflict. Well, I promised these women I'd be back online as soon as I got home.

I met him, he was far from dangerous, more of a Casper Milquetoast. Not a lot in common, but a fairly decent date. I get home. I go to turn on the computer so I can tell them I'm in one piece. It starts to boot... Then turns itself off. Repeatedly! These women told me they were calling the cops if I didn't show up by a certain time. I'm panicking, they also know the train schedules. A few weeks before, the cops were on my door because a friend showed up and the radio was on for the dog, lights were on for the dog, but I wasn't answering the door and my car was in the driveway. I was at the movies with a friend, her cell was off, so when he called to tell her I was missing, well...

I didn't have either of their numbers. It's now 3 AM. I realize, my next door neighbors get up at the crack of dawn. She's a school bus driver, he's in construction. So at 6 AM, I was on their doorstep, explaining to them what happened. As soon as they stopped laughing, they let me email these women to let them know I was alive. They also told me, feel free to let them know when I'm off on a first date, as they do keep tabs on me. I was living alone in the middle of four acres at the time, so they kept an eye on me without me even knowing.

But I had visions of the poor guy being arrested and taken in for questioning before they even bothered to see if I was alive.

But always let someone know who you're with. Even if you haven't met them online. Horror stories such as the one you mention happen to women who meet someone for a date they haven't met online.


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/6/2006 8:32 am:
LOL! Oh, thank you!

rm_macallan4u 46M
968 posts
7/6/2006 5:07 am

Wish I had a good suggestion for you but aside from getting another W in your life, I come up empty. It's sad but it is a reality of life, be safe first and get laid second.


TheCliticals 34F/F

7/6/2006 5:59 am

What happened to your friend is the worst I've ever heard of. How can people like that exist?

Sandy and I have a very simple rule and we never vary from it. We play together or not at all, and we look out for each other. If we have concerns, we ask our friend Terry (poor Terry of Viagra trials fame) to come with us and be around till we feel its safe, unless he's invited too. Terry used to be in a regiment of the British army whos members dont like to have their pictures taken, so we always know that he can protect us more than adequately.

We can lend him to you if you need

Dee


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/6/2006 8:39 am:
Importing a body guard from London is just a little bit crazier than having a lover that lives 500 miles away, but thanks for the offer.

rm_gorilla062 49M
232 posts
7/6/2006 6:24 am

I can understand; even as big as I am I worry that one day I will meet some man hating woman that is secretly an axe murderer. You never know what you will get. I try and treat them all like a date first... meet public maybe a few times... if you havea dog bring it... the dog will know before you will if that person is not cool!
I met publicly with a few first to judge if they were a fit, to get the vibe so to speak. 3 were very nice 1 was not... I just was not comfortable.... your feelings never lie... trust your reaction.
You will get some sweety... I just know it.... wish I was in Co to helpyou... would be your body guard!


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/6/2006 8:38 am:
Yes, as I said above, I've met some weird women ...

Thanks for the body guard offer, that's sweet.

UdderPuttyBiped 37M
102 posts
7/6/2006 6:25 am

Okay, that is messed up (the dungeon thing). I hope she at least put the word out on that other site not to trust those f***ers.

Anyway, obviously the part about letting people know where you are is a good one. Meeting in neutral places is also good. One thing that stuck out to me was the part where your friend drank the wine...the cue there is, don't drink anything you didn't pour yourself. Be smart about anything you ingest, make sure it can't have been tampered with and when in doubt don't drink it.

The second thing that occurred to me was that it was a mistake for her to go to their house. I would suggest that the best place to go if you decide you want to have sex with your meet is a hotel. Not some seedy flophouse hotel where you pay in cash and no questions asked. Go to a hotel where you are registered, credit card on file, nice place where they won't put up with nonsense. Doesn't have to be the Ritz, just a decent reputable place. That way it would clearly be noticed if someone tried to smuggle your unconcious (or god-forbid dead) body out of there. And if a person is trying to talk you into a place that is less neutral, especially someplace they are very familiar with, they are probably not on the level if they are pushing.

It saddens me that this even has to be discussed, but there you have it. Anyway Kelli, I have occasion to go to Denver once in a while (family there) so if you do decide to take the plunge, I wouldn't mind meeting you sometime. And I would be willing to address any concerns. I too have read Sarahwilling's adventures and they make me jealous.


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
7/6/2006 7:48 am

Call me Kaliedacrazy, and I didn't read the other comments, but what I don't get is why wouldn't your friend press charges? I don't think there is a personal reason good enough not to, I've never been a victim so I might not understand.

But I think others need to be protected from these people, if they did it to your friend, they will, and probably already have to others. People like this have no right to walk freely on this earth.


caressmewell 53F

7/6/2006 8:17 am

A friend and fellow AFFer lives in CA and we have given each other our personal info, including make and model of our vehicles and tag #'s (since we usually drive to meet someone). We also set a specific time to call during the meet and are required to call when leaving the meeting place. Leaving a note as Miss Ann suggested is also a great idea.

You may also want to reach out to some local women in your area that are on this site, I have done that locally and I have become friends with a few of them.


rm_WE008 41M

7/6/2006 8:20 am

.......the pic is so Q !!...


T_A_B_75 41M

7/6/2006 9:12 am

I can't say I've ever heard of that happening to anyone before. I've heard horror stories before but nothing like that. No one noticed your friend was missing? Sounds like a movie.

I'm happy to say that would never happen to me. I get a call once an hour from friends or family. If they can't get a hold of me they communicate with each other. My life is an open book someone always knows where I am and who I'm with. It doesn't sound like I get much privacy but when needed it's there.

I would be honored to be your safe friend if needed. I have many connections in high and low places. Unfortunately I live in Edmonton, and can't be your personal spy.

What saddens me is the fact that everyone seems to be giving up on sex on a site designed to meet people for that exact reason.

Good luck and be safe,


Kristofer32 46M

7/6/2006 9:33 am

Kelli,

Trust is something a simpleton like me takes for granted and I have learned, in a very painful way, society simply cannot be trusted as such. You have to take care of you and to hell with it if it offends somebody. Take all the advice above to heart and make sure you have your beautiful ass covered.

As for the animals you described in the post...I am, as stated, a very simple country boy and there is no excuse for the actions of those people. I would cherish the opportunity to find said people, lock them in their own dungeon and then turn your friend loose on them. Biblical eye for an eye justice. I get the idea some people like being on the receiving end of those things and, hey, more power to them...your friend was obviously blind sided and drugged. She deserves better.

Kris...


Jo82760 56M

7/6/2006 9:44 am

As if dating and meeting someone new isn't scary enough, having to worry about your safety is just wrong.

I have been the “big brother”, sort of like Terry is for the TheCliticals, for some of my female friends on their dates since I was in college. In some cases they just wanted my opinion on the new love of their life. It was a lot of fun and had its benefits of free drinks, an occasional nice dinner, getting invited to a lot of parties, and when a double date was required I always got fixed up with some really nice girls. Of course there were the drawbacks like the phone calls at 2am needing a ride home because the cab was going to take 45 minutes and they didn’t want to let the guy they were with drive them home or the times my friends would get mad because I didn’t think as highly of their date as they did. I didn’t mind the 2am calls but have you ever tried to find someone after a concert at Red Rocks? Most of my female friends are now married or in relationships so I haven’t done this in a few years but if you need a local “big brother” let me know.

-Joe

PS: I second Great Danes or Mastiffs insead of Rottiweilers but if I had my choice it would be a Yellow Lab. Lovealbe, slobbering but yet very protective.


badbadbrad 37M

7/6/2006 10:27 am

I had a similar dilema, all I can tell you is to trust your gut.

I came, I conquered, I came again


RevJoseyWales 69M/66F
14393 posts
7/6/2006 1:20 pm

Hell, Kel, you don't have to go all of the way to London to get a BG! My suggestion: Smith & Wesson Centennial Airweight, .38 Sp, 1.5" BBl. Hammerless, easy fit in a purse, and when accompanied by +P wadcutters, a thoroughly nasty little bastard. And/or, North American Arms mini revolver. .Five shot, 22 cal, fits in the palm of your hand. Favored by gang bangers because it's so easliy concealed. No woman should EVER go unarmed in this world. Joe

"McVeigh had the right idea, wrong address."

"This ain't Dodge City, and you ain't Bill Hickok."


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/6/2006 1:41 pm:
I fire a .380 Browning, but don't carry it. It was a super bitch to get it licensed in Colorado. Pepper spray in my purse and nun chaku in the car. But it tends to turn guys off if I try to take them to bed with me ...

saddletrampsk 54F

7/6/2006 1:49 pm

    Quoting RevJoseyWales:
    Hell, Kel, you don't have to go all of the way to London to get a BG! My suggestion: Smith & Wesson Centennial Airweight, .38 Sp, 1.5" BBl. Hammerless, easy fit in a purse, and when accompanied by +P wadcutters, a thoroughly nasty little bastard. And/or, North American Arms mini revolver. .Five shot, 22 cal, fits in the palm of your hand. Favored by gang bangers because it's so easliy concealed. No woman should EVER go unarmed in this world. Joe
I have guns also..but would never carry a gun because they can be easily used against you and its not legal in Canada to carry a handgun without a damn good reason

Great post..I tell friends who I am meeting but not all the time


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/6/2006 3:50 pm:
I figure that if a guy takes pepper spray away from me and uses it on me, I'll survive. I'm not willing to chance that with a gun. Hugs, and thanks for stopping by.

rm_kellinb 38T
3 posts
7/6/2006 1:59 pm

Nice pic, sis!


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/6/2006 3:50 pm:
Hugs.

StaynHardnHot 42M
305 posts
7/6/2006 3:04 pm

Funny how this should be your post today As a male of fairly good size(6'2"), i have been very fortunate to never have experienced what some people have to go through to simply meet someone on here, although i have been lied to, decieved, and in general had my time wasted a few times. I will tell you from my occasional journey to try meeting people not from online isnt the slightest bit less scary from what encounters i've heard.
Having tried to meet people on here and off of here both i havent decided which is better, although i have realized its easier to be honest about your sexual interests, at least for me, when others are being so open about theirs as well, as they are here
In my efforts to meet people online, although i have no fears myself, i have learned that to be succesfull in just getting to meet anyone, just be very accomodating and flexible as to when and where the female would like to meet. I would most certainly reccomend a very public if not crowded restaurant or bar...although not too crowded you cant have a close conversation and get a feel for who the person really is. Going to a noisy crowded place doesnt serve much purpose if you never got to know anything about your date. I wouldnt reccomend movies as a first date, because obviously its dark and you dont get to talk, also defeating the purpose. Meeting first for a quick lunch is also a good idea, beeing that it can be a shorter time commitment if you decide your not interested or feel at all uncomfortable...you can always use the excuse that a backload of work is beckoning and leave early ifyou so desire. I have also found that people act, even if it is an act, much more sane when it is daylight, especially if they are around others in a professional, albeit restaurant surroundings. I would definately reccomend conversation on the phone prior to any meeting, even if you have to *69 to block your number just to get an oppourtunity to get a vibe for the person you are about to meet that you would otherwise get through email or chat. All these are reccomendations if you simply dont have anyone close to you to either come with you or to at least check up on you and watch your back
I cannot emphasize strongly enuff that if in any situation a male is uncomfortable with meeting you under any situation you are comfortable with, within reason of course..lol, remove him immediately from the list of candidates of someone you would meet. Knowing men, if a guy doesnt want to agree or is resistant to some terms you have layed down for a possible meeting, like having a third party present, or meeting in a busy lunch place, it is because he has alterior motives in mind, PASS on the oppourtunity!! Although this would clearly put the man at a disadvantage and open himself to trickery, other than hearing a womans voice to know that she is TRULY a female..lol...males trying to meet a woman online...especially a drop dead gorgeous, brilliant, funny and caring woman like yourself....take that risk knowing that if works out in any fashion....the juice was certainly worth the squeeze!!!

Hope this helps in some way, shape, or form, my sweet Kelli, sorry to hear about your friends bad experience, and as always sorry for being longwinded and not using spellcheck..lol Can you believe i occasionally am also at a loss for things to say when i first meet someone..??

Forever Your Friend, Chris


adbacula 36M

7/6/2006 3:28 pm

Hi Kelli,

In junior high, a girl in my class gave me a book to read. A dirty novel called... ummm... "The Tormented Tourist".It was about a girl who was abducted, and forced to perform various sexual acts, with various people. My favorite part was when she was sleeping in her bed one night, (yeah, they gave her a bed) someone snuck into her room, and crept under her sheets. She didn't know what to do, so she pretended to be asleep. The invader proceeded to crawl in between her legs and kiss her sweet spot. While trying to pretend she was still asleep, she experienced the best orgasm of her life! As the culprit made their way back to her bedroom door, she peeked over the sheets to identify her mysterious guest. The hallway light peered in throught the open crack of the door as it opened. That's when she saw her face. The Head Mistress! I think the next day, she stowed away, in the trunk of car, and made it to safety.

She was the first girl that gave me a "real" kiss and let me touch her. I've always regretted not shagging her. She would've been my first. Maybe my last, too? Interesting, I never thought of it that way before.

I feel the same way about safety (I am a little paraniod), therefore I'm not getting my hopes up. I don't "feel" the internet is the safest place to meet someone. I do believe anything's possible.

I suggest you take your time. Talk to them as much as you can about their life, until you get a good picture of what they are like. Also, get that person to send you as many pictures as they can, so you can verify what they're telling you is true. (I'm just making this up... sounds good though) Keep this up for as long as it takes, until you are satisfied about at least two things. One: You know exactly how they look, and could describe them in detail. Two: They have a family. They have friends. They have a job. Basically, they have a life. They aren't just someone who the neighbours will describe on the evening news as, "... he was quiet... you know, kept to himself." I know you're "dying" to have sex, but... Horny is better than dead. I know you wanted to find some quick trick, but good things cum to those who wait.

BTW, thanks for the post pic. Now, I know what my cats looked like, when they were kittens. They're still in that same position though.

Cheers and good luck.
addy


eveready06 41M

7/6/2006 4:30 pm

Awww look at the lil furry pussies! I don't think you can ever be 100% sure what anyone's intentions are these days. Someone you've known for years could suddenly snap and go on a mental break, but if you thought like that you'd never leave the house so its a case of taking a risk! Theres big risks and little risks though, you've just got to figure out how big a risk your prepared to take and make sure you've done everything possible to keep yourself safe.


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/6/2006 5:48 pm:
Very true. There are some very strange people on this site, however, and it's difficult to know exactly what a person is like until you meet them.

Twister2bed 47M
617 posts
7/6/2006 4:35 pm

Suggestions hmm. Move closer to me
I'll watch your back, Your butt, your chest, hehe and just about every other part of you too {=}

Seriously though sucks what happened to your friend, Just goes to show you can never take to many precautions in being safe.


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
7/6/2006 5:07 pm

I do not have much experience meeting online folks, but surely this type of activity is rare.

Still, it is a cautionary tale for all of us to take to heart. Jeeze. They gained her confidence and then attacked.


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/6/2006 5:52 pm:
Oh, god, Keith, if even a little bit of scary weirdness wasn't rare, none of us would be here. We all want to make the assumption that the people here are the kind of people we want living next door. And I believe most of them are.

tootsiedippin 53M/52F
1078 posts
7/6/2006 7:14 pm

Don't really have more to add except that we hope that no harm should befall you.

When ever we have met a female they have always gotten calls. And we exspect them. So use the phone but a local friend going with you would be a safer first encounter. But as your example denote all surgur and spice untill the right moment...

Just be safe...

Dippin


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/6/2006 7:58 pm:
Thanks, I will.

rm_marnisway 85F
5018 posts
7/6/2006 11:14 pm

...a lot of good advice..but...the advice has to fit your life.

similarities in our stories ...bring on the feeling of "it can happen again" SO.. we make sure it doesn't.
I'm still learning.
hugs
M.

x

Nothing is ever the same... when it comes to pleasures.

with a hint....the erotic senses will manifest into an abounding mess of flesh

the mind needs fulfillment of the body

if it feels good ...it is good

I've done it again...*S*


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/6/2006 11:28 pm:
Yeah, we hope we're smarter ... Hugs.

rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
7/7/2006 3:27 am

    Quoting sweetbabydee07:
    Hm. You're a black belt in something or other, right? I'd have thought if you stayed off the alcohol and didn't drink anything you hadn't poured yourself you'd be able to look after yourself in just about any situation. (Well, except ones involving a gun. Jeez Joe, all that firearm talk makes me nervous!)

    I think you're entirely right to have safety concerns, but I also think that worrying too much about stuff like this will in some way turn us (women) into victims before anything bad even happens. I trust that most people are basically good. And I trust my own instincts to pick out the ones that aren't pretty damn fast. I don't want to live my life thinking about worst case scenarios.

    I also think a lot of it is down to your own attitude, and by that I mean how you project yourself. Most abusive people are experts at picking out the kind of people that they will find it easier to abuse and get away with it. I may be naive, but I'm happy to trust my instincts where safety is concerned and I've never had anything bad happen yet.

    Oh, and if I was ever in a situation like JuicyBBW, I wouldn't be saying leave now or I'll phone the police. I'd be saying leave RIGHT THE FUCK NOW or I'll come after you and break your legs with a crowbar when you're least expecting it. Or run you over. IMO bullies respect outright threats of violence. Not sure if any of my waffle is of any help to you though, sorry...
i do think dee is right that we cannot allow ourselves to live in a paranoid cage. yes, i had one meet that i would want to warn others about, but to be honest i'd got lazy about scrutinizing men cos i'd had so many perfectly fine experiences ... i have got more paranoid again since that event, but still meet people. ultimately, you know the risks and only YOU can decide what is going to work for you. but i would strongly advise against living in total fear, cos i suspect it will make you miserable.

as for your relationship with your husband that turned abusive ... from the way you described it in your post, my impression was that it only turned abusive after a time and that you did for a long time trust him in exploring the wild side ... ?? maybe i misunderstood. i too have been deceived (by my own brothers no less) and this has made me question my instincts a lot -- but ultimately i have decided that i was fooled by some very good liars in the kinds of relationships most people do place trust in (siblings for me, marriage for you), and i can't blame myself for that. instinct is not 100% accurate, and you have to forgive yourself for the mistakes you made in the past.

IMO, life is scary, but it's worth the risks ... i know when you are afraid you want to be able to control everything, but you can't, so try taking a deep breathe and remind yourself that you cannot second-guess every single thing you do.

no doubt you will be terrified the very first time you venture out; maybe just warn the person of that and tell them you might bolt, so they doesn't feel too cheated if you do...



[blog freelove999]


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/7/2006 9:11 am:
Thanks, hon. Actually, I'm never terrified of anything except falling from high places. I'm probably not bright enough to understand the situation sometimes. I just don't like feeling uncomfortable, and walking into a meeting with discomfort lurking in the back of my head interferes with why I would be meeting someone. I just feel as though my security blanket has been taken from me, and I don't like it.

rm_lust2u2 51M

7/7/2006 9:38 am

In brief; play safe


StaynHardnHot 42M
305 posts
7/7/2006 10:12 am

I think your smart enough to get a good feel for who a person is once you mee them Kel, just make sure you surround yourself with as safe an enviroment as possible and you'll be fine..


papyrina 50F
21133 posts
7/7/2006 1:03 pm

being married i have to be careful for all the other reasons when i date but i still always meet in a busy public place usual out side a shop so when i see the guy i can go on instint straight away and then i decide where we go for coffee,if it loks like a nice guy but nothing really there ,i will go to an extra busy place to the conversation stays light and if it looks like it has possibliites then a quieter coffee shop with options of lunch,to slowly get to know each other.
once past the coffee stage which is rare i only suggest good hotels that i know the area so i can get out quick,luckily and happily this seems to have worked for me.
I friend of mine always knows when i'm on a date and what time i will be back,even if i don't give her too many details as a extra precaution.
good luck hun


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


gotttathegoods 48M
8 posts
7/7/2006 7:50 pm

sadly enough, you've just got to meet someone you can trust.

Let me know if I can help


QueenOfSwords 34F

7/7/2006 8:36 pm

Its scary hay. I wouldnt like to rely on my origami to fend off a 200 lb man either and I cant always expect to be able to reach my chopsticks if I really need them. I'd rather be too wary than too open, but thats me.


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/11/2006 8:52 am:
I feel the same way.

FrankPicasso 52M

7/8/2006 5:15 am

Hey there, Kelli. Cool handle, and what a great blog you got, here. Wow. That's a particularly disturbing story about your friend in Kentucky. Thank goodness her captors saw fit to let her live, gambling on the idea that she wouldn't press charges. Still tragic, though.

Quite the conundrum you've found yourself in. Trying to strike a balance between being horny as a cat in heat, wanting to get fucked, and safety, can really be a tricky deal, huh? Good luck.


Mamacat56 60F

7/8/2006 7:14 am

kelli4u2dew.....Do you really need a sex site to get laid? I came on this site because it was a bet a friend of mine made with me.
As a victim at the age of 19 by a man I knew very well it can and does happen all the time. Personal reasons not to press charges?? There is nothing in the world more personal then being druged... .. beaten ... Always let someone know where you are and the name of the person you are with!!


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/11/2006 8:56 am:
I can always go to a meat market bar and have the same kind of issues ... I came here originally because it seemed like a better way of screening people. I can write, chat, talk on the phone, and get to know something about a person before I start to date them. A friend suggested this site when I complained that I'd had 12 first dates in a row with men I didn't want to see again.

UKrakmeUp 57M

7/8/2006 11:53 am

Damn, this is my 2nd trip to this site and every time there's a good blog. That story should be enough to scare the shit out of any normal person. Whew!

Random sex can be a tough gig. Who knows what kind of mind numbing bomb may be planted there in that terrorist booty?


Version 2 here:

http://AdultFriendFinder.com

Do NOT go to the posting board and start reading stories from people who CLAIM that Dick Cheney has a hugemongous penis and that he hunts children for sexual pleasure at various retreats around the world.

You'll never come out the same. I'm with the carry your own weapon posters above.

enjoy!

UKrakmeUp


alphuctup 40M

7/10/2006 10:28 am

It's a sad indictment of the world today that such measures are necessary, but nobody can deny that they are completely necessary.

How many of us would screw a stranger without using a condom? Why? Safe sex, because we don't want to damage our bodies. Being careful about how a meeting is set-up is surely just an extension of the safe sex principle!

It's not particularly romantic but I don't think you can be too careful, especially women ~ I don't mean to condescend but men are generally bigger and stronger therefore your best defence is to be prepared.

Good post, if this saves one person from a nasty experience it's priceless.


Iwasgettinsum2 34M
2 posts
7/10/2006 1:17 pm

iF uR hoRnEY hIt mE uP 502-644-7273


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/11/2006 9:00 am:
If you're stupid, leave more messages like this on people's blogs.

If anyone wishes to call this guy in Kentucky, you have my permission. If you're in Kentucky, maybe you could post his number in a few gay bars.

rm_Mr_Gaunt 43M

7/11/2006 5:09 pm

Hi!

I would trust, and I would become drugged and robbed, so I’ve never tried to meet. But perhaps a good¶noid (too paranoid? Too expensive? -never) option, in addition to hotels ‒and cameras- and arranged calls, would be the location microchips. I don’t know the limits of that technology for commercial use(*), but al least it promises that the ones you trust in will know exactly where you are in any moment, if something goes wrong. (And alas if things go marching in )

Ok, trust your guts/feelings, but always get something else; and anyway, everyday, Good Luck and Let the Probabilities Be With You (if you think about it, your boss/employee, your friend, husband or plumber could be a sociopath, but most of them are simply good guys/girls)

*And it’s own safety flaws.


rm_fidgett 48M
22 posts
7/15/2006 7:04 am

Wow. To say be safe is an understatement. I would think that you need to get to know the person real well. Maybe met at a nuetral site or somewhere you are more comfortable with.


rm_kelli4u2dew replies on 7/15/2006 9:33 am:
Meeting at a neutral site is a given, and the least of the safety measures one should use.

rm_Melciber 61M
214 posts
7/28/2006 8:15 am

<- - - has been date by a guy in my own small town . . . I know the guy - know when and where I was drugged - just have nothing to produce as evidence. . .

I recall "escaping" but have no memory after that and only a jumbled impression between the night-club and his place. . . how I drove the car 30kms I do not know.

As I was just out having fun - there was no "reason" for having a safty-net - now. . .I just donĀ“t spend my time in clubs and go home befor midnight. Sad - maybe, but safe, and I drink from the bottle and never let the bottle of water out of my sight now.


rm_Andrew9in 46M
8 posts
7/31/2006 12:55 pm

It’s a frustration or fright for everyone on this site that there are such unpleasant characters to worry about. For women it is immediate and every precaution is vital. I like the advice listed here thus far. For men it is more often frustration, but what a shame--it may take forever to convince someone of your decency, even with precautions, and all we want is a really gratifying physical experience. Maybe we need some stalker-stalkers, that tag the shady and psycho guys and give them a taste of their own medicine, hmmm, it would make a good movie plot.

Best wishes on your adventures, Kelli, and thanks for all the enlightening posts


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