A distinguished older gentleman  

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
7028 posts
12/7/2005 3:36 am

Last Read:
9/27/2006 4:03 am

A distinguished older gentleman

I got a new idea for postings last night. The most unbelievable propositions!

I received an email from a distinguished looking older gentleman. Guy looked like he stepped off a hollywood set where he played a millionaire. He started off ok, then ... well, see for yourself.

"Nicely written profile. You seem quite intellegent and seem to know what you want. You are right about being able to go out and find someone anywhere, especially looking like you do. Would love to wine and dine you and show you off to a group of influential friends. Hope to hear from you!!"

Do you believe that? After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I checked out his profile, where he said he was looking for one-night stands. So, I wrote him back.

"It is my fondest desire to be shown off to your friends. I'm sure that they will be impressed that you are able to afford such a trophy. After 7 years of being married to a corporate lawyer, I long for those good old days of being paraded around the country club and being offered as bait to close a deal. The days of giving blow jobs on the golf course, of performing cunnilingus on fat old society matrons while the boys have brandy and cigars in the next room, of having "influential" men put their hands up my dress while telling me that they are critical to my husband's career.
I'm panting in anticipation. When and where can we meet? Should I wear my lowest cut gown with the six inch heels, or would you rather I wear the tennis outfit without any panties?
Hugs and kisses,
P.S. Please provide a picture of your massive cock with your reply."

Then this morning, I couldn't believe it, he replied!

"The dress and heels sound great. Unfortunatly the only one you have to please is me. My friends can only look and drool. Would love to meet! Have any other pictures of yourself?"

Unfortunately? Huh? Of all the incredibly dense men in the world, I think I've found the most arrogant, egotistical, self-absorbed man I could ever imagine.

So, what do you think? Should I write him back?

AughtMusedSpill 48M

12/7/2005 5:14 am

It's obvious that this guy is too dense to catch your sarcasm and humour...he can't even spell intelligent - or unfortunately! I'd venture to guess that the only influential friends he has are the guys who choose which snacks go in the vending machine at the gas station. And, as much as I would love to read your next cutting reply, it would be wasted on that jackass.

im_your_man77 39M
961 posts
12/7/2005 5:59 am

LMAO, came across this blog by chance, so glad I did, that's the best laugh I've had in all morning.

I say carry it on, see how far it leads before the dawn of realisation hits him.

AughtMusedSpill 48M

12/7/2005 1:33 pm

Hate to disagree, but that guy is not direct, he's a moron. He obviously is incapable of recognizing sarcasm at its finest.

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
12/8/2005 3:08 am

Tedzilla, I agree. I've run into too many of his type, but usually had to bite my tongue because of the situation. He's so sure that he's god's gift to women that he doesn't recognize the sarcasm.

racer68guy 48M

12/9/2005 3:35 am

I'd say he's perfect for you!

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
12/12/2005 4:25 pm

Thank you earleybird. I've wondered at times if I might be eliminating someone that I'd really like to meet, but then think that if they just did some basic things, like post a pic, write me a nice letter, and give me some reason NOT to blow them off, then I wouldn't do it. The big thing I've found is LOCAL. Why would I waste my time with someone I'm never going to meet, or who is obviously only interested in having a one night stand?

Yes, my profile says I'm looking for sex, but guys, a girl always wants something just a little more.

ky_gq_smooth 36M
1 post
12/14/2005 1:13 pm

Wow, is that what I am getting involved in; I just recently signed up on this site. I can't imagine how difficult it would be being an atrractive female, without this site. I also know how it feels to be a trophy, minus the skirts and blowjobs of course. Makes me a little hesitant to submit a picture now. I probably hear the cheesey pick up lines a bit more than the next guy. They can make you feel good; at the same time I could manage just fine without them. I hope everything works out for you Kelli, you seem intelligent and well, I will spare you the rest.

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
12/14/2005 8:32 pm


You need to post a pic. It doesn't need to be recognizable, but it does need to pique a lady's interest. Without it, you're just one more handle.

But believe me, one cock looks pretty much like the next one, and profiles without a face don't get many looks. Put the pic together with a well written profile - humor helps - that makes someone interested in knowing more. Then contact the women that sound like you'd like to meet them. As I said above, you may have to kiss a few frogs, but you may find a princess.

SlowPlayin 50M

12/14/2005 9:00 pm

Hopefully you keep your sense of humor and don't leave the site because of dumbasses like the guy who wrote you those messages.
What I find REALLY unbelievable is that "TTigerAtty" would post a response like he did ... dude ... are you serious? You're actually going to post such an OBTUSE response defending the moron who wrote those messages? A little advice... don't mention the name of the law firm for which you practice or from where you matriculated... not a positive advertisement for either.
It's no wonder the guys on this site have such a hard time convincing the women that they are sincere and worth meeting.
Kelli... keep your head up... you're too gorgeous and intelligent not to find what you're looking for... eventually.

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
12/15/2005 3:00 am


Thank you for your comments. I know that some people would say that by posting a picture of my ass I have asked for a certain type of response. Perhaps that's true, but I have become convinced that I would get the same type of responses if I had posted my face, I just wouldn't have my anonymity any longer.

SlowPlayin 50M

12/15/2005 10:43 am

I hear you... I agree. I can understand why you value your anonymity. I see nothing wrong with your profile... very direct and to the point... personally, I love the peek-a-boo picture of your butt. I think it leaves just enough to the imagination. Tell the truth, though ... you're not trying to drive the boys crazy just a little? LOL ... I'm not at all surprised some of the guys are losing their minds.

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
12/15/2005 5:51 pm

Honey, of course I'm trying to drive people crazy. LOL! The funny thing about men, is that you say I'm trying to drive "the boys" crazy. Why doesn't it occur to you that it might be aimed at the girls?

SlowPlayin 50M

12/15/2005 6:21 pm

Kelli... sweetie,
You crack me up .... of course it occurred to me ... you haven't mentioned any girls acting like idiots and losing their minds ... thanks for calling me out on it though ... I got a chuckle out of it ... LOL. I'm sure ANYONE, guys or girls, spending any time with you would have their hands full and I'm just as sure it would be interesting.

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
12/15/2005 8:23 pm

SlowPlayin, you're exactly right. My profile pic shows exactly what I want them to have their hands full of.

The_Wraith_1969 47M

12/16/2005 12:17 am

...damn, missed the boat again! That is too funny Kelli. But your return answer was fantastic. I guess he looked at your pic too long and got mesmerized, I know I did! Keep it coming!

AnEnigma517 59M

12/16/2005 3:11 am

Don't play that game with anyone; if you reply, even tongue-in-cheek, like you already did, he's just going to keep pestering you. He may even become obsessive and dangerous... so, please... let it go. You made your point and he's obviously too arrogant to get it.

starlight_runner 39F

12/16/2005 11:32 am

I disagree with these peeps.He knew exactly what he was saying and what you said.He understood alright and knows your humour.

To me his answer is a direct parody continueing ur train of thought.It shows he can make light of it yet is still interested.

Whilst not going to get him into bed with u granted, it at least shows he does have a sense of humour contrary to what most other peeps think.

and no im not him in disguise.lol

kisses Star

blueguy1051 60M

12/16/2005 6:19 pm

starlight, very perceptive. it's that kind of wordplay that she's looking for.

Kelli, honey, keep it coming.

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
12/16/2005 9:14 pm

blue, honey, you're giving all my secrets away!

Hugs and kisses

ScarlettWebb 45F

12/17/2005 1:15 am

Kelli - I used to be polite and respond to all emails as I heard men say that women never responded. If I wasn't interested, I told them why. For that guy I probably would have said something close to what you did if I was feeling devilish...lol

The only problem is that any kind of rejection I would send to men, even politely, would almost always result in rude hate mail back from them saying something like "well I wasn't interested in you anyways, bitch!"...lol

So, suffice to say, I now hit DELETE with any email that doesn't interest me. But if you are having fun, keep it up

rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
12/17/2005 7:14 am

Scarlett, I usually just delete, and I almost did with this moron. But as you say, I was feeling devilish.

I'm not into soliciting the hate mail, and would not answer anyone that I suspected would answer that way.

BTW, guys, I have no obligation to answer those who have not met the guidelines I have set in my profile for contacts. It really pisses me off when a guy tells me that I HAVE to answer him or I'm being impolite. Garbage! If he was so impolite as to send me a one line proposition with a cock pick, then I owe him less than nothing. I wish there was a button I could push that would send an electric shock as a reply!

MillsShipsGayly 51M

12/17/2005 12:39 pm

Hey Kelli. Saw you on Louisa's blog. Don't you just love her staged pictures of Barbie, Barbie and Ken etc...

I guess this moron wasn't [i)the right guy.

So do you prefer to play with Ken, that corporate lawyer in limy green bermuda shorts, tennis racket in hand? Or perhaps just dress up and dress down with our favorite Barbie? Or make me smile and tell us all you are looking for GI Joe? lol

Welcome to blogland and good luck moving on from the corporate wine/dine scene. Been there, done that !

sleeplessknight1 68M

2/3/2006 8:46 am

Never ceases to amaze how some look upon Ladies.....
Trophy..Darn! he better join a golf club if he wants a trophy...
but with his handicap he has absolutely no chance......


3 posts
5/25/2006 8:32 am

very funny, go girl go. mike

TheCliticals 35F/F

7/20/2006 2:00 am

Insist on a postal address and add talcum powder to the envelope
Sandy Evil

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