This Gene Pool Needed Draining  

rm_jayR63 59F
1205 posts
9/24/2005 9:41 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

This Gene Pool Needed Draining

In a recent post, TravelinginTexas related a tragic tale of a nominee for the Darwin Award.

Why he didn't post the winner is beyond me. Maybe he thought it just too gruesome.

AND THE WINNER IS.....

Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt
Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local
golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad
mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his
scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped
the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum
in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who
immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from
his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer
was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in
a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's
scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked
from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle
was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of
the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300.00 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome were asked to leave the course.

NB: This last one wouldn't normally count, because the idiot didn't
die. But because he cannot reproduce as a result of his qualifying
act of stupidity, we have allowed it.



HardlyYours4Now 52M

9/25/2005 1:55 am

On behalf of men everywhere let me say, OOOOOOOOOOOUCH!

Agreed, this is a big win for the gene pool. All swim!


PillsburyCodeBoy 60M

9/25/2005 5:59 am

O. M. F. G.


expatbrit49 62M

9/25/2005 7:11 am

LOL, hard to bieleve that some could be that dumb, but then again it was funny and there is always someone that go for the big joke

Thank You for Your Time and Attention


papyrina 51F
21133 posts
9/25/2005 12:07 pm

i'm not a guy thank God but just reading that it hurt


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

9/25/2005 7:04 pm

Whew!

Luckily I have never been this stupid! MOG I cant imagine goign through this, never mind it being on the news and everyone knows.

Hearin comments like
was it a Ball?
Crunch time
Houston we have separation
AC/DC song Big Balls
want to call John Bobbit?

geeez I cringed while reading this


DirtyLilSecret61 55F

9/25/2005 10:37 pm

Is it okay to admit I laughed at this?

"Lil"


rm_B0SSIERBOY 57M
476 posts
9/26/2005 9:51 am

Anyone want to test out a glory hole now?


Quadiophiliac 105F

9/26/2005 5:35 pm

I cringed while reading this and I wrote it.
why can't I access my account, dammit!


nedthebundler 56M/59F

9/26/2005 8:24 pm

JayR63,

Welcome back to the "other reality"...... A fine post about another human being suffering the effects from a life of too many bad drugs, or not enough good ones.

Madness takes its toll. Exact change please!


redlipsprincess
(Princess Lips)
51F

9/27/2005 7:15 am

*ouch*

TTFN


AlbertPrince 57M

9/27/2005 7:20 am

Testicles huh! Who needs them?


DCEbony
1586 posts
9/27/2005 6:49 pm

jayR -

I'm not a dude (although I may be thanks to A F F changing my gender), but that story makes me want to buy a cup just in case.

For a minute I wondered who would really be that dumb to pull a stunt like that. Silly me.


BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

9/27/2005 8:28 pm

I can only hope this is true. I'm not even gonna check it out in snopes dot com, because they'd probably debunk it and man, I really wanna believe it!


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
9/29/2005 7:59 pm

Now that my legs are safely crossed, I wish to scream OWIE! in sympathy for that poor idiot. I wonder if he ever golfed again?

Jeeze, as a kid I searched golf courses for stray balls, but this is ridiculous.


rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
9/30/2005 8:49 pm

what a surprise this one would have been


2xTwiceShy 51M
470 posts
10/1/2005 2:14 am

Did his buds let him take a Mulligan?

I've lost precious balls on a course before, but I've never lost generations.


rm_deaminveni 50M
116 posts
10/2/2005 6:15 am

Damn! That hurt just reading it. It's one of those stories where every word your thinking "NO! He can't be that dumb", but yup once again natural stupidity ups the ante.

A hole in one?

Reducing the idiot-gene from the gene pool though, so there's something to be thankful for.


rm_pchamp012004 55M
2672 posts
10/5/2005 5:53 pm

I'm still in pain 5 minutes after reading this.

But yes, his ilk need to be purged from the gene pool.


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
10/7/2005 2:09 pm

I always liked this one...

Police in George, WA issued a report on the events leading up to the deaths of Robert Uhlenake (24) and his friend, Ormond D. Young (27) at the Metallica concert last Friday. Uhlenake and Young were found dead at the Gorge Amphitheater after the show.

Uhlenake was near a pickup that was on top of Young at the bottom of a 20 ft drop. Young was found with severe lacerations, numerous fractures, contusions, and a branch in his anal cavity. He also had been stabbed and his pants were in a tree above him, some 15 ft off the ground adding to the mystery of the heretofore unexplained scene.

According to Commissioner-In-Charge Inoye Appleton, Uhlenake and Young had tried to get tickets for the sold-out concert. When they were unable to get any tickets, the two decided to stay in the lot and drink.

Once the show began, and after the two had consumed 18 beers between the two of them, they hit upon the idea of scaling the 7 foot wooden security fence around the perimeter of the site and sneak in.

They apparently moved the truck up to the edge of the fence and decided that Young would go over first and assist Uhlenake later. They had not counted on the fact that while it was a 7 foot fence on the parking lot side, there was a 23 foot drop on the other side.

Young, who weighed 255 lbs and was quite inebriated, had jumped up and over the fence and promptly fell about half the 23 foot distance before a large tree branch broke his fall AND his left forearm; unfortunately, he also managed to get his shorts caught on the branch.

Since he was now in a lot of pain and with no way to extricate himself and his shorts from the tree, he decided, seeing bushes down below, to cut his shorts off and fall to the ground. Upon cutting the last bit of fabric from himself, he suddenly plummeted to earth, losing grip of the knife. The "soft" bushes were actually holly bushes and landing in them caused a massive number of cuts. He also had the misfortune of landing squarely on a holly bush branch; effectively impaling himself.

The knife, which he had accidentally released 15 ft up, now landed and stabbed him in his left thigh. Apparently, he was in a lot of pain. Enter his friend Robert. Uhlenake had apparently observed the last bit of this and, despite his inebriated state, realized that Young was in trouble.

He hit upon the idea of lowering a rope to his friend and pull him up and over the fence. This was complicated by the fact that Uhlenake was outweighed by his friend by a good 100 lbs.

Again, despite his state he realized he could use their truck to pull Young out. Unfortunately, because of his state, Uhlenake put the truck in reverse, rather than drive, broke through the fence, landed on Young (killing him). Uhlenake was thrown out of the truck and subsequently died of internal injuries.

"So that's how a dead 255 lb man with no pants on, with a truck on top of him and a stick up his ass came to be" said Commissioner Appleton.


rm_shafther62 75M

10/14/2005 2:32 pm

Geeeez, Jay, u crack me up. Enjoyed your contribution love!


gigger2000 44M

11/2/2005 10:41 pm

How f..king stupid do you have to be to do something like that? I gladly admit to doing stupid stuff for the attention of others. However I would never do anything to jeopardize the “boys”! Without them, I am as good as a “poppy flavored lollypop”. Hopefully he learned his lesson and got some new friends. Friends don’t let friends destroy their balls!


Lextyranus7 56M

11/3/2005 11:24 am

Adds new meaning to golfing lingo of Beer Hole?

Odd thing: I have been to dozens of golf Courses, and I have never seen one where you could stand on anything that would get you up to the level of a golf ball washer. Most are about 4 feet off the ground.

Hmmmm wonder if this is an urban legend?


missy973 47F

11/14/2005 9:41 pm

oh ouch


dwellspompano 50M
2 posts
12/4/2005 4:28 am

And people wonder why I don't drink!!! At least sober Im smart enough not to do anything that stupid.


redmustang91 57M  
8604 posts
1/2/2007 1:32 pm

High Price for being lazy. He should have just washed his balls the old fashioned way. Sometimes the old ways are best!


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