Here's The Plan  

rm_jayR63 59F
1205 posts
8/13/2005 3:13 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Here's The Plan

As part of the Bush administrations new energy plan, lawmakers have decided to extend Daylight savings time.

It will begin three weeks earlier and end one week later.

"The beauty of daylight-saving time is that it just makes everyone feel sunnier,"
said Rep. Edward Markey, D-Massachusetts.

Fred Upton, R-Michigan noted that the extension means daylight-saving time will continue through Halloween, adding to safety. "Kids across the nation will soon rejoice, because they'll have another hour of daylight trick-or-treating."

I swear I am not making this up.

Another part of the Bush energy plan calls for the mile to be made shorter.
What is now one mile will become 3/4 of a mile but will still be called a mile.
By doing this, the fuel efficiency of every car on the road will increase! Fabulous!!!
OK, I did make the last part up

expatbrit49 62M

8/13/2005 3:26 pm

If we in Canada didnt live next door this would be really funny

Thank You for Your Time and Attention

sexyeyes375 47F

8/13/2005 4:03 pm

..hanging my head in shame to be an American....

We are not all this stupid, really, but how does it look when we are the ones that elected them into office?

I cannot even comment on the mile thing... I need to go and lay down.. I can't believe those words actually came out of his mouth. At least give it a new ridiculous name..

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
8/13/2005 4:17 pm

I'm a

i'm here to stay

rm_WizardTim12 50M
44 posts
8/13/2005 5:36 pm

Yes, if you start doing an inventory of laws proposed, you can find some *interesting* items. As well as ones still on the books, than no one can be bothered to remove, as well. Humans are such *fun* creatures to observe. (Who needs a fishtank when there are 6 billion other humans on the planet to watch? )

Cute invention on the mile item, sounds like something that people would propose from time to time, doesn't it?

You should have gone for the suggestion that as of January 1, 2006, all fuel efficiencies would be computed as inches per gallon. Wouldn't it be nice to say, for example, that my car gets about 1.9 million inches to the gallon?

Or, to go a little further, that we throw out the British units we use now (since they've gotten seriously dated), and throw out the metric system (since we in the US never liked it anyway ), and invent completely new terms of measurements for all the units.
This would even generate new jobs and be good for the economy, since it would require additional people to create new textbooks, new measuring instruments, etc. We could redefine units to make fuel efficiency and other critical numbers sound MUCH better, create new jobs, and keep people too busy learning the new system to have time to commit crimes, so even the crime rate would go WAY down.

Yes, it's so simple! I don't know why I didn't think of it before!

(Thanks for a fun post. Have a good one)


1586 posts
8/13/2005 7:02 pm

We really shouldm't complain about taxes because look at what our dollars buy - the best thinkers this country has to offer!

It is just so good to know that they are busy working on matters of national concern, such as the great Hallowe'en Candy Initiative of 2005.

DirtyLilSecret61 55F

8/13/2005 8:36 pm

Now watch them increase the dollar ... next thing you know, they'll say a dollar is actually worth $1.13 just so you think you'll be getting a raise.


Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

8/13/2005 8:43 pm


Thanks for pointing out how enlightened DC is. I am going to live on an island somewhere, liek a castaway.

If I change calories on this cake to some made up number, maybe I wont becoe ma fat blimp. Can I change my 5K run to 5 MM ? wow! I am in dynamite shape! GRIN

ProtonicMan 47M

8/13/2005 9:09 pm

Sexyeyes, I didn't vote for that idiot!

And since when have kids been happier to go trick-or-treating in the daytime?! I always liked it better when it got dark.


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
8/14/2005 12:13 am

Turn out the lights on your way out.

_CoffeeNoCream_ 52F

8/14/2005 1:41 am

I really feel sorry for you...
you are not pulling my leg eh ?

Liefs Coffee

HardlyYours4Now 52M

8/14/2005 3:26 am

...proving once again that the elevated lead levels in the DC drinking water cause indiscriminant brain damage.

Any more sweeping reforms, and I may end up pushing a McBroom for a living.

mnfun952 102M

8/14/2005 2:22 pm

I'm sure the candy manufacturers are rejoicing!... just what the world needs, fatter American kids.... now they can 'gather' 16 lbs. of candy instead of the current 10 lbs. BUT WAIT - I'm sure that a pound will become 24 oz. to compensate for the extra candy AND the great american eating establishments can say their MASSIVE meat product sandwiches are 'only' a 1/4 pound.

Effing Rediculous.


14u24me34all 51M
235 posts
8/14/2005 2:56 pm

The problem with the retrograde mile has not been adressed;For example: pre=100mi. now=75mi. {100x3/4=100x.75=75} This is a net reduction of 25mi.apparent. 25mi.can be expressed as a differential factor in percentage points as .33 or 33% This would be proven inversely via ratio/proportion as follows:100:5:25; where X would
be net increase in mi.,numerical. Therefore if 75X=2500,then X=33.33mi. This added to actual distance (100) gives us 133.33mi.gross apparent. So now that everything is farther away,1)what are we saving,2)We have to change all maps and road signs,3)Never take me seriously!....(although The math IS correct)

redswallow777 48M
6810 posts
8/14/2005 7:05 pm

You are sooooo cynical you don't think a 2x4 is 2" by 4" either.

rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
8/14/2005 7:41 pm

14u Don't confuse me with facts

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

8/14/2005 11:09 pm

Shit JayR, if you think that's bad, I have one of those page-a-day calendars of "Bushisms" my sister (from Texas) got me for Christmas last year. Not only does this moron we elected have the IQ of a shoestring, every time he opens his mouth he steps on the shoestring to knock that quotient down a few more points. I think I'll start posting them in my blog.

I feel sunnier already...

Tala4u2 54M  
2957 posts
8/15/2005 12:01 am

How cruel you are Jay. Politicians are really nice people, just like people who believe they have been abducted by aliens. They are not quite right in their heads.

This sort of comment should stop now or we will end up with people who know what they are doing running for office!!!

Tala, Wizard of The Kingdom of BooBoBia, DEITY,

redmustang91 57M  
8604 posts
8/15/2005 4:27 am

The daylight savings time shift might actually save some energy! The mile thing is a joke I hope! Bush barely won and I sure did not vote for him! If another 170,000 votes had gone to Kerry in Ohio we would have elected Kerry! I opposed the Iraq war then and now. Bush and his admin. have fucked that up royally! The tax cuts make the deficit bigger and help his rich friends. He is trying to destroy Social Security which is one government program that works and is popular! the way to improve Social Security is to slow the benifit increases and increase the money flowing in by lifting the cap on the tax so it applies to all earnings.

five_speed 41M

8/15/2005 6:26 am

Please tell me this is a joke. PLEASE?

SirMounts 102M

8/15/2005 6:48 am

I am so against Daylight Savings Time, that I am tempted to form a political party to work for its abolition. Arizona and Hawaii have it right, by not participating at all. As for the Engery Bill, it is overall a mishmash of positive and negative aspects, and absolutely loaded down with pork barrel projects that mostly favor the chairmen (Republican), and ranking members (Democrat), of nearly every committe and subcommittee in both houses of Congress. If it wasn't for a previous veto threat, it would have had about $100 billion More pork! I guess that was about the best Congress was willing to come up with, and to get... something, the President was willing to sign it.

mi_mwpm 51M

8/15/2005 10:22 am

Looks like I'm the only fan of DST. I hate the springing forward and falling back stuff though, so I propose we just "forget" to fall back some year and let there be extra daylight at the end of the work day.

Nice use of white text on the 3/4 mile thing JayR... don't think several of your readers caught it. They must be new around here.

rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
8/15/2005 5:04 pm

White text?
What white text?

DrabJuggler 54M

8/15/2005 7:55 pm

16/8/2005 jayR63
Like your mile idea but 4 different reasons. It might encourage people 2 walk if they thought where they wanted 2 go 2 was closer than it was. Does that make sence, the hell it does, who walks anywhere these days! But it was a very nice dream while it lasted.

As for SUVs, HUMMers, ATVs, and all those other Vs ... why all the rush to use up a resource that has taken millions of years to be produced and a few seconds to be vapourized and dissipated into our once clean air. Intuitively this just does not make any sense. But, then again, if I want to drink the water why shouldn't I if I get to it first. How many of us will be around to explain why we did that when there is none left? In today's notation if you commit an atrocity against your own people during a war you can expect to be held accountable before the international law within the space of your own lifetime. Hitler did not wait to be found whilst others were brought to book. More recent examples too. But have we considered that each of us might also be brought before the community of the future for endangering it's existence. We do not call it genocide at the moment but what is the difference. If my notional feelings about the consumption of such a resource are correct how could we escape the accusation "Well you should have known what would happen."

So there is but one answer for each and every one of us ...
Either stop doing it or personally invent a viable alternative.

Wind is good ... paper planes use rubber bands ... we can make hydrogen and oxygen from water and when it burns it forms water again ... waves are OK if u r this side of the pond but much further away on yours (u r a bit bigger than us too ... well your island is!)

Food for thought ... Kind Regards DrabJuggler

GleesFlakyShawl 50M
1620 posts
8/16/2005 10:46 am

hey dont complain....ur presidential team can decide to skip the next Election Day (to save energy) and remain in office for a bit long......

im still amazed to see how come nobody voted him and he won the last election (im not talking about the first one).......
is it a case of shameful voting?

(Juan S)
2642 posts
8/16/2005 10:49 am

Truth has always been stranger than fiction...and jack Nicholson was right...

rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
8/16/2005 2:09 pm

Tala learnt loads here!!!
One point for me!

rm_android1960a 56M
428 posts
8/16/2005 9:33 pm

Although I have not checked out the energy bill yet I am sure it contains some good, some bad and some silly. The daylight savings thing is a very small part of a big bill. Just one of the most visible and easiest to joke about. I imagine it was someone’s pork barrel. Sadly pork barrel is one of our political screw-ups that most likely will not go away. Although pork barrel usually tips the scales to the side of witch ever party holds the majority at the time the bill is passed. Both parties use it equally to their benefit, at the expense of the voters.

With every thing the government has fucked up over the years, why in the hell are all you crybabies sitting back to let them fuck up some more. For example take Social insecurity. Both political parties have spent so much time “barrowing” money they had no intention ever paying back, that it will soon be Bankrupt. The most important thing we can do to help with the energy problems is to reduce and reuse. But alas, most Americans are just to lazy! Both to conserve and to become politically involved. That lack of political involvement is why most Americans are unhappy with the political system.

As for you people who are ashamed or hanging your head, MOVE, we proud Americans do not want you here. Then there is the matter of the 170,000 votes in Ohio. I am proud to be one of the Ohioans to cast his vote to flush the two johns. Just think how fucked up this country would be if John Kerry could get his wish to raise the gas tax 2 or 3 more dollars a gallon. ( John Kerry’s idea of fuel conservation. ) G. W. has taken the slow, responsible path to rebuilding our economy. After 8 years of slick willy economics tore it down.

Now back to the energy crunch and energy conservation. If we would just repeal the antiquated laws against public nudity. We would not only save millions of gallons of water by not washing clothes all the time. We would save barrels of oil, cubic feet of gas and tons of coal by not heating the water we did not use.

Priapeo 46M

8/17/2005 8:12 am

I wonder if there's already a plan to call "compliments" the cursing addressed to the government by the drivers who run dry of fuel.

Never argue with an idiot. He brings you down to his level then beats you with experience

MiAmore62 49M

8/17/2005 8:01 pm

Hey! Will any of this make me be able to say my cock is bigger!?

nedthebundler 56M/59F

8/18/2005 1:26 am


I've said it before, and I'll say it again...........We're not dealing with the Mensa crowd here..........

Don't be hard on the elected officials, they are too busy running for office to be bothered by something as trivial as thinking.

Madness takes its toll. Exact change please!

rm_molittle69 46M
117 posts
9/28/2005 10:26 pm

you may have made it up, but had you not told me, i could believe that it came out of george w's own mouth.

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