|Blogs > rm_jake12905 > The artist flips a key|
Sex, Video Games, and some good toons.
Sex, Video Games, and some good toons.
Yes, I'm a virgin still. I've never had actual sex. I've been told "That's improssible", as well as "Well, no crap, you're a nerd" as responses to that before. Yeah, I jack off (keeps me from going berzerk with the hormone rage), and i've gotten a bj once, but thats about all i've done. No sex. I wish i could, because i'd imaging it's like a blow job, only better, and more pysical, but its different. I guess I'm a bit odd, as i've had an inclination to want to have sex for a very long time now, years upon years, before i was even a teenager. I suppose reading up on it, seeing some of it first hand, and then thinking about "Just what the heck was that" sort of impacts one's self look on what is pleasurable. What's more desireable, a nice restful nap, or having your first orgasim? Whats more spiritual, reading religious texts, or having a connection with someone who means more then just a sack of flesh that is aesthetically pleasing? What is one's definition of happyness? For me, it's been as unattainable as a good movie, or a great song, a great game, or even someone who will come to my house, and hang out. I suppose people must be paranoid of me, just becuase i'm into anime or something, so I'm automatically branded "Desperate nerd.." How am i desperate? Perhaps in need of social connections, yes, i love to talk, i love to interact, but for sex? Not really. after nearly a decade of not getting anywhere fast, I gave up on the whole instant gratification thing. I'd rather know what i'm getting into, if i wanted to bother to get into anything. I dont understand why people, who are even in a simple realationship somehow fear me even hanging out with them. Perhaps I come off as desperate, or needy in some form. If I'm needy, it's for a good competitor. I havent had a good playing of Halo 2 in ages, or a good go around at some of my board games. Heck, it'd be nice to sit back and watch a few animes or movies with a friend, get to know them, see what they like, amybe get them addicted to what'd captivated me for years, art. Sex, in one way, is art as well. It's self expression. It's not merely some intense, complex act of emotional release, it is exactly the act of expression. You express so many emotions in the actions, the desires and thoughts. Its a work of art.
Anyways, as i was babbling about earlier, I really believe that if I wanted sex, so badly, i'd've gotten it by now, eh? I mean, I'm on this site, i know people who are billitudes time more desperate than i am, and the fact that i'm not really ugly, I'm not hot, i dont think, but i'm not like "What the HELL is that thing?!?!?" So i could probably get something if i'd've wanted to. The problem is, when i do want to, poof....nothing is there. It's like a lake of resources just vanishes into a pit of "COm3 chek out our site!!!1!" with some link to a cruddy smut site, that i could care less about. If i want to look at that, I'll just go rent a movie thats rated PG 13 or something, because half of them now have so much implyed sex, it's hilarious to name them all. It almost brings tears.
Movies...what the heck happened to them? I remember when just saying damnit made it PG13. I remember when PG 13 was still a rareity to see. I remember when Hollywood made some pretty decent films. 8 out of 10 were watchable. 5 out of 10 were fun to watch again. 3 out of ten were addictive to watch all the time. Now? 3 out of 10 are barely watchable, 2 out of all the movies made in a whole year are ever decent enough to rewatch, and maybe one is so good, dishing out 20 bucks to get a heap of plastic with so so special features is worth it.
Why so touch on them? Has anyone seen all the horrid remakes of movies? at least half the movies last year, and this year so far, were remakes, or rehashes of old movies, some not even that old. Yeah, the Batman movie was really freakn good, but it's BATMAN. The cartoons, the comics, the radioshows, the books, the old movies, those must have not been good enough. And Narnia? yes, it was actually a good movie, despite being forfronted by BuenaVista (the king of good corperations gone to bad product liscensing), it was alright. They boasted all these great CG characters....and only showed them for like 8 minutes. Well, i just wasted 2 hours there. Thanks alot disney, you rock, now take back your company all the way. The Pink Panther, the Producers, Willy Wonka, and lets not forget the lovely sequels (nearly all were subpar), which just add to the whole idea that they just can't produce something quality anymore. They get sooooooooo close, but fall so short. What happened to some ingenuity? Brain frys injure their writing too much. Or maybe, perhaps, the mentality that "We have these actors who barely made it our of highschool, and who are half as talented as the original cast....people love them cause they're pretty faces....why get paid alot...the old version made LOTS of money...WE HAVE A WINNER!" concept just mystifies the screenplay writers and development staffs of hollywood thesedays. I harken to films like the original Dune, and Faris Beuler's Day off, and Dead Poets Society, good films. Now? Eh...bad writing, toss in some dirty words for drama, maybe a minimalist censored sex scene, and special effects to cover up our bad creativity, and we have a movie. Typical cookie cutter movie of the nowadays.
Anyways, how does this have to do with me and sex? Well, It's probably more my fault for being all stupid and quiet about my desires or wishes, and not getting in while the getting is there, then anything. So i suppose its like a hollywood movie. Bad remakes everyday, toss in some f-u's, and a damn or two, maybe insert in a dream of some kind of desire, and my typical day, week, or month is a hollywood movie, jsut without fancy music, cool explosions, and cut scenes. I need a cut scene every now and then. Maybe one of these days, I'll get a real opritunity, and trash the virginity i've had for 18+ years.
2/8/2006 1:21 am
Dude, go easy...that's a lot of stuff in that post..gimmie a sec...|
Don't rush your sex life. This site is full of idiots who got their girlfriends knocked up and had to marry them.
Use caution..and what do you care what other poeple are doing?
There are more guys out there like you than you think.
You are not odd, different, or special...
LET'S GO METS!!!