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rm_jacexprime2 39M
78 posts
11/17/2005 11:33 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

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I, I'm driving black on black
Just got my license back
I got this feeling in my veins this train is coming off the track
I'll ask polite if the devil needs a ride
Because the angel on my right ain't hanging out with me tonight
I'm driving past your house while you were sneaking out
I got the car door opened up so you can jump in on the run
Your mom don't know that you were missing
She'd be pissed if she could see the parts of you that I've been kissing

Nickelback: Animals

This past week (my weeks start on Fridays, based off my job) has been interesting. Nothing really important happening. Sarah is still here, but so far I'm not having any problems with it. She still needs to figure out that I don't take any bitching about anything, but I think she's getting the idea.
It's weird, getting it on with an ex. There's still some emotional connection, but it's nothing like it was way back when. I care a lot for her, and I enjoy the familiar intimacy, but it's not like I feel in love, or like I have a genuine commitment to her outside of our son. I'm not sure what that says about me. I'd probably not want to hear it, but oh well...this is how it is.

Tonight something bothered me at work. Some lady came in with her son (I'm guessing) and made some purchases. I'm guessing the kid, something like 12 or so, had money that his mom needed to borrow. She ended up getting a little something for him, and bought three packs of smokes for herself. The kid was obviously dismayed at that turn of events, because he apparently needed money for something probably school related. I felt his pain and disapointment as soon as he expressed it at seeing his mom spend HIS money on her addiction, when he told her he needed some left for something. I know that feeling he felt. I know it all too well. Having a parent let you down and take advantage of you. My parents decided one summer to spend my savings account on a second-hand air-conditioner. I had over $150 in my account (co-signed) and they spent it on something that didn't last very long without consulting me. *sigh*
I hate parents like that, and I swear I'll never fucking do that to my son. If I save some shit for my son, it's fucking HIS. I'm not touching that shit for anything. I don't want him to feel what I felt, or that kid felt, about his parents. Gods, it was like an instant spike to my heart when that kid showed how unhappy he was about it, but he didn't put up a huge fuss, he just kinda accepted that it was happening, but was obviously saddened.
After I realized what was happening, I was instantly pissed off at her. I'd fucking slap her for using his money on cigarettes if I could have gotten away with it. Goddamn that bothered the hell out of me.

In other news, I downloaded the new Nickelback cd. It's pretty damn good, in fact the whole thing is good so far, which is odd, because lately most shit I've gotten has been one or two good songs, and the rest doesn't do much for me. This one's got it though, in fucking spades. I think it's a lot better than some of their previous CD's. Some of the songs are really moving when you're in the right mood.

Nothing else is really going on in my life. No romantic interests. No social life to speak of. Sometimes I swear music is the only thing besides my son that I enjoy in life anymore. The only thing that moves me. It's sad, in all honesty.
*sigh*
It's late, and I'm rambling about shit that isn't really important. Time for some sleep

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