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Things in my head
Things in my head
As of late, I have been chatting online to a girl whom I know as "Amber". She seems to be a really cool chick, and has expressed an interest in meeting me. She found me and contacted me through the Yahoo Personals site, where I have a profile.
The fact is, I have public personals up in quite a few places. Yahoo, Date.com, E-Harmony, American Singles, Match.com (through AOL site only), AdultFriendFinder, and Friend Finder. This is in an effort to get some exposure to the public, since I am not prone to going out to bars or events with any real regularity. The funny part about all that is that I am getting noticed about as much as I would if I DID go out on a regular basis. Which is, very little.
The theory is, that the more time I keep myself from the public view, the chances that I will be alone become greater, and more likely. So, more exposure over more time, and in more places, increase the probability that I will actually meet someone decent.
Here's where I am starting to have a problem. I'm not sure if I should be doing that now.
My situation in life now is less than ideal, and certainly one that I wouldn't want to bring someone else into, simply for the fact that things are a mess right now. My problem is, do I remove all my profiles and isolate myself again in the off chance that I might meet someone that would be perfect for me and due to circumstances being what they are, drag them down with me and ruin what could have been? Rmoving them would avoid that potential, but at the same time, it would insure that I do NOT meet someone. Removing them also makes me wonder, that if I did, would I be likely to miss out on that one chance person, who would suit me the best, just by not being there to be seen when she happens to cross my online path? It's something that is HONESTLY bothering me.
I don't want to ruin something that could be wonderfull by attempting to have it NOW, and at the same time, I don't want to miss the opportunity for it to turn into something great.
As far as this is concerned, I am really not sure at all what I should do. It's a moral dillema. I have no desire to hurt anyone or make them miserable, so I don't want to bring someone into my life in a serious fasion right now. On the other hand, it might turn out that this person would be there for me through the worst of it, resulting in a really good, SOLID relationship after the worst is over.
I have no idea what I should do, or what I should think about this. I'm very strongly torn between both directions.
The reason I have begun questioning this, is because of Amber. She seems like a really nice, really cool girl. I'm not going to even speculate on whether or not we will become serious, because the issue of distance in maintaining a relationship is a sore point with me. I really hate long distance relationships, even if it's only a few hours away, that's still an enormous hurdle to overcome. Amber wants to come meet me, and I am inclined to treat this as a "new friend" kind of thing, which is probably the smart thing to do. Something that bothers me, though, is that either she, or myself, might start to see it differently. Hell, she might be seeing it differently right now, and is wanting to visit me to initiate a relationship. I hate the idea of her wanting to be with me and me needing to give the "let's be friends" speech. I feel I might have to, though. I'm not sure. I'm quite likely overthinking all of this.
My gut, however, is telling me to be really carefull, and I am not inclined to ignore that feeling.
I'm really at a loss of how to approach this, even though I may have just stated what I should do in this little post.
9/25/2005 4:57 am
Why not just leave the profiles up there. You are not getting that many hits as of now anyway. Then, when someone like Amber does come along be honest about having some difficulties and take it from there. |
I think many folks will understand, and the ones that don't, or get angry will let you know and then be gone. In the meantime you will still be meeting a few folks since your profiles are up.
If that plan doesn't suit you, then leave the profiles up but do not open your chat program until you are more comfortable. Just don't talk to anyone until the time is right for you.
Or you could just close em all up and then make new ones when you feel ready to date again.
Also, never forget that old blogging adage:
Go not to the Bloggers for advice for they will say both yes and no.
9/25/2005 9:07 am
Very true. It always helps to get outside opinions though. Thanks!|