Something caught my eyes....  

rm_jacexprime2 40M
78 posts
8/26/2005 11:49 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Something caught my eyes....

"I could be cold,
I could be ruthless,
I could be just like you!" -Three Days Grace

Something caught my eyes. Last night, and today.
Today first, though.
A girl, who was fairly attractive, came in to pay for gas. She was wearing a shirt that had short sleeves, and they were kinda scrunched up. I got a good view of a nasty set of bruises on her upper arm, near her shoulders. The kind of bruises that make you think they're fist shaped. She looked a little rough around the edges.
My first instinct is calm anger. The first thing I think, is that some guy did this to her. Nothing can provoke my limitless rage worse than a guy beating on a girl. My mother taught me long ago that you don't hit women. I've stuck to that all my life, and I have never struck a woman in anger, ever. I've never had a reason to do it in self defense either, which I believe is a different situation. If a woman is actually TRYING to kick my ass, and I genuinely feel threatened, of course I'll strike back. But never out of my own anger. I'm better than that.

And it makes me so furious to think that there are guys who can rationalize doing shit like that. I have a pretty even temper 95% of the time. But there are certain things that will just set me off, things that I find unacceptable from any human being, no matter what they are. Racism, homophobia, violence towards women and children....the shit of the crop. These things will break through my thick hide faster than armor piercing ammo. I can't stand the idea of a guy beating on a woman for any reason. This provokes the deepest anger I'm capable of, which is scary in that I can BE that angry. I'm willing to bet money that if I ever had the misfortune to witness something of that nature in the act, that I'd be in a lot of trouble, but at the same time...the person who commited the act would either be on a stretcher or have a DOA tag on his toe. Grrrrr.....*deep breath*
It could very well be that what I saw was the result of an innocent accident, or something that she got herself into, like a fight with a friend. My protective instincts are very strong though. Don't mistake that with any form of jealousy, because I am not a naturally jealous person.
*sigh* It's just one of those things.

Something caught my eyes last night, and I wish I had acted upon my instincts. Every Thursday night me and Kattie (sorta-sister) go down to Vice Versa, the gay bar, and hang out, drink, and chill with friends.
When I've had a few drinks, I'm not as brave as most guys, when it comes to strangers, even though I wish I was.
Anyways, I ended up watching this absolutely beautifull redheaded girl, who was across the room, sitting on the steps near the pool tables. For the better part of an hour, (i guess, time is distorted in bars) she sat by herself and watched and observed people the way that I do when I have nobody to talk to or interact with. I'm not sure, but I think she noticed that I was watching, and I can't be sure if it was aimed at me because I'm not sure who she was looking at, but she did this little thing where she took her beer bottle and traced it across both her legs, arms, and body, in a very sexy and seductive way. I could be imagining it, but something is telling me it was intended for me. Who knows. All i know, is that right around the point where I decided that I should go talk to her, a group of her friends came over and sat with her, and ended up leaving with her. I didn't dare try to approach her and start talking to her with them there, because that would just look weird, at least to me. And now I'm regretting it. I don't know why. I think sometimes I have the ability to sense what kind of person someone is by observing them. Like, knowing if someone I see would be someone I would be able to get along with really well. I've had that girls face in my head all day, and it's so weird, because her face seems familiar to me somehow. It's unlike anything I've really encountered before. I've seen lots of attractive women, and haven't had a feeling quite like that, where she keeps popping into my head without ever having spoken to her.

I hate being such a chicken-shit when it comes to women in bars. I can't help it though, because I want to talk, but I don't want to sound like a cheap pick up line or cliche.

I swear to whatever diety will believe me, if I see that girl again, I am going to takl to her, come hell or high-water.

WOW, that kinda made me sound like some kind of creepy stalker guy. Good gawd I HOPE not. Stalking takes too much time and energy, with too little in return.

yumacpl78 38M/38F
6 posts
8/27/2005 1:04 am

Creepy stalker guy aside if you don't put yourself out there you will never know. The worst that can happen (excluding meeting a psycho who will kill you) is that she will say no. Good Luck in you future quests.

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
8/27/2005 6:10 am

LOL about the girl that caught your eye on Thursday nights.... We all have had those would have, could have, should have moments! Hopefully, you will be a little more bolder next time.

Insofar as the girl you see with the bruises. It gets me every time too because of the abuse and neglect I have seen of, primarily, women and children. There was a time (in my younger days) I was working in a shoe department of a well known Department store. A woman grabbed her child by her arm in a jerky fashion to get the child to sit down in the chair beside her. When she did, I noticed all the bruises on the arms and legs of that child. That was in the 80's when it wasn't well known to call Child Protective Services upon sightings such as this. It too every inch of my soul to keep from getting into that woman's face. Had I not been in a public place (and workplace at that), I might have said something to her. Instead, I got up leaving her to try on some shoes that I brought out to her, excused myself, and went to my manager and told him that I couldn't finish out this sale with this woman. When I told him what had happend, he understood.... he not only completed that sale for me, but gave me about 5 more sales, while I sat in the back for a few moments to regain my composure. That day will certainly be forever engrained in my head.

Be glad that you still have the emotions to feel for folks; there are many that are so complacent about life and don't truly observe what is going on around them, much less what is going on with others around them.

Kudos to you.....


rm_jacexprime2 40M
67 posts
8/27/2005 9:12 am

Thatnks yumacpl78, nothing quite like the thought of psychoticaly homicidal women to boost my bravery. *LOL* Thanks for the kind words though.
TxRose, yeah...some people don't give a rats ass. And that doesn't help make anything better. It's sad.
And yeah, I think I'll be a little bolder from now on. I'm more likely to screw up but there's no harm in trying, and even if I do screw up an introduction, there's probably a way for me to make it funny so at the very least she'll get a laugh out of it, and that's always a good ice-breaker. Hmmm....*starts thinking*

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