So very tired, and yet, not at all.  

rm_jacexprime2 40M
78 posts
9/5/2005 9:22 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

So very tired, and yet, not at all.


The weekend has had the feeling of disproportionate length, even though time passes the same as it ever has. Getting three hours of sleep prior to working Sunday morning left my body telling me things that my brain wouldn't listen to. Did I do anything about it? Hell no, of course I didn't! I went home, and proceeded to mow the front and back lawn. Talked to my best friend's girlfriend Jody for a bit, and was invited to a cookout. Unfortunately, my friend was in South Carolina visiting another friend of ours, so I didn't get to hang out with him. I've known Mark for over 14 years, the only real long term friend I've ever had, but that's besides the point. Jody invited me over, and we hung out and cooked some meat, drank some beers, talked, that sort of thing. Later in the evening, her friends from work started showing up, which was cool, because I need to meet new people. Out of the whole group, there were 5 women, and two guys, plus Jody and I. Out of the women, four of them were cuties, but one was a lesbian with her wife (who, no offense, was not terribly attractive, but hey, I ain't knockin' it), and one of them was attached to one of the guys that came over. SO, as far as I can tell, the other two were single. One guy, Ron, was cool. He started in on a conversation about Johnnen Vasquez, the creator of Invader Zim and some comics we've both encountered, and some other topics we both were familiar with, so that was fun. The other guy was somewhat goofy, but we ended up playing a few rounds of Quake 3 Arena, which resulted in the women all going upstairs to entertain themselves. By the time we finished up, all but him and his girl had left. That was kinda disappointing, but I did have the time prior to the game to chat and be somewhat social. So, it was a fun evening. I think I got about 7 hours of sleep after that, but I woke up later than usual, and then that's when things started to suck.

My ex called me. She was bitching, and moaning, and crying and just being an ass about how I hadn't seen my son all weekend, and today was going to be day number three. She had told me a few weekends back not to worry about getting him because she wanted to spend time with him, so I didn't bother calling this weekend. I figured I was going to have him today, and then she starts spazzing out about how tired she is, how he woke up early, how her friend from New Orleans (who made it out days before the storm, but not BECAUSE of the storm) was in town for the last 3 days and she hadn't gotten to see her because of our child. THAT is total bullshit, because her friend has a kid too, and she knows damn well she could see her if she wanted. Not to mention the fact that her friend is going to be up here for at least 3 months or so, due to her husband going for some sort of training clases that the military needs him to attend. She's just making excuses and venting on me. I won't lie to you, I really don't listen to her anymore. I hear the words, I understand them, but I really don't care. I've heard so much bitching and moaning and CRYING from her in the last 2+ years (even before she got pregnant) that I am more or less NUMB from it, and won't take it anymore. She was pissed that I accidentally slept in. Hell, I had forgotten she had today off for Labor Day. I just forgot to set my alarm because when I laid down last night, I was dead in milliseconds. So she wanted to fight me about that, she was crying about her friend, she was just going on and on, and telling me she DIDN'T want me to come get my son, because she was pissed. After pretty much telling her to shut the hell up and calm the fuck down, I asked her if she really did or did not want me to get my son, because I am always happy to have him. She finally said yes, so I went and got him. She cried when we started to leave....I hate it when she does that. More specifically, I hate it when she cries or throws one of her self-righteous fits in front of my son. He know's something's up, and he can sense the tension, and he doesn't like it. I can't stand it. I think it's funny, though, in that she bitched me out about not seeing him, when she had said she wanted him on the weekends, and yet, I get to see him MORE during the week than SHE does. Don't ask me to explain this woman, because even though I know I could, I don't have enough time to write a 10 page essay.

Time is creeping by at a slow pace, as my son takes his nap, allowing me time to write this out. I should be cleaning house, but I don't feel very motivated at the moment. I think having to deal with her this morning put me in a less than energetic mood. I'm so glad we don't live together anymore, though. I'm not a mean, nor violent person by any means, but if we had stayed together, I am pretty sure I would have snapped. I've never struck a woman in my life, but she sorely tempts me sometimes. I never give in, though. It's one of the things that I just won't do, not because I fear the consequences, but because that is NOT who I am.

I think I'll take my son to the park after he wakes up and eats lunch. It's a very nice day out, for a Monday. Perhaps I'll get something done today. I hope the rest of the day is nicer than my morning was.

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